Autumn is categorically the best season. The end.
Change is in the air, Halloween is just around the corner and sweater weather is brewing away nicely in a wardrobe near you. We’re stalking our local pumpkin patch, checking for signs of Cinderella coach-worthy gourds and sprawling vines like some kind of PYO secret agent. Always ahead of the carve.
True, the balmy Summer evenings spent getting gently merry in the park did serve us well when Boris Johnson and his shit show of stuttering doom got a little too much for us to bear, but let’s not dwell on that. Let’s welcome the fall equinox with open, socially distanced arms.
If you’re still mourning the long, languid Summer of 2020, here’s a few reasons to get excited about Autumn’s imminent toasty arrival.
It’s the most sensory season
Season of mists and mallow fruitfulness – John Keats was a wise, wise man. The crunch of leaves underfoot, the misty mornings, the colours of the trees, the whiff of smoke from a neighbour’s chimney – Autumn sure is a feast for the senses.
Sweater weather
Tell you what you won’t miss about Summer, seeing the sheen from your clammy upper lip in your field of vision before you’ve even left the house. Throw a mask into the mix and you’d be casually wringing your chin out to dry by 7am. No such hardships exist in Autumn. It’s all big, cosy, effortless combinations of layers, turtle necks, coats and boots. Sayonara, hay fever.
The food
As the evenings get darker and chillier, the food gets all hearty on us. Salads give way to mammoth cheese boards, hot soup and crusty rolls, country pub roasts and nostalgic puddings swimming with custard. Even your cup of tea somehow tastes better now that it’s accompanied with a blanket and a packet of Custard Creams. Miraculous.
Great TV
Thanks to That Which Shall Not Be Named, lots of our favourite television shows and upcoming films were put on hold this year but there are still plenty of televisual treats to get stuck into. The Autumn line-up is already looking promising with Strictly Come Dancing, Emily in Paris starring Lily Collins, Riviera Season 3, The Undoing with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant and Bridgerton – a nice fluffy period drama – all airing this fall. That’ll give us something worth staying in for.
Slowing down
One of the best things about Autumn is the change of pace. Everything gets a tad slower, your friends and family are generally in agreement that a Saturday night in beats a Saturday night out freezing ya tits off at the taxi rank. The pressure to seize the day becomes permission to seize the duvet, and you can rest safe in the knowledge that everyone else is doing the very same thing: eating Twiglets and cinnamon rolls in their dressing gown.
All the good books
Curling up with a good book just feels better when it’s blowing a gale outside. Snug (and smug) as a bug in a rug.
Halloween
Who knows if it’s going to be all trick and none of the treat this year but that’s not to say that we can’t get our spook on for one of the best holidays of the year, even if we are just sat at home with the cat, like the world’s most tragic witch. Know that we will be knocking back the pumpkin punch and howling at the moon in spirit.
It’s zero effort
Everything rests up, including our well-manicured bikini line of July. Autumn, you marvellous, sexy orange tinted bastard – we’re ready for ya!
