Vacations are synonymous with relaxation. There’s nothing quite like the promise of warm weather you can trust, Aperol Spritz and a packet of Lay’s on the balcony to soothe the soul and revive the ol’ libido; a paradise far away, where the most you’ve got on your agenda is securing a sun lounger by 7am and remembering to top up your SPF. Everything is perfect, perfect, perfect.
Your skin is aglow with Vitamin D, your legs are smoother than the belly of a mackerel and you’re in your Lake Como era, such is the power of being pulled away from the routine of Microsoft Teams, dirty dishes and 7am alarms.
And then there’s the sex.
The hot holiday nooky. Whether you’re coupled up or riding solo, there’s just something about vacay sex to the soundtrack of swaying palm trees and ocean waves that just hits different but if, like us, it feels like a hundred years since you’ve stepped foot on a plane (*cries in French*) and let go of your inhibitions, let these tips refresh your memory.
Whether you’ve already got your summer holiday in the works or you’re grabbing a quick romantic weekend away, here’s 8 ways to spice things up on holiday.
1. Consider the destination
Think a carefree Elizabeth Gilbert sucking on spaghetti in Eat Pray Love, Elio and Oliver’s sunset dip at Spiaggia Giamaica, the rain scene in Midnight in Paris and Marianne’s rustic Italian villa in Normal People, the charm of a sumptuous destination a world away from the daily grind can do a lot for our senses. They don’t call it wanderlust for nothing! From balmy Balearic escapes to little-known Greek islands and a week under the Tuscan sun, if the romance factor is important to you, let the location lead the way and serve as the ultimate aperitivo to your one-on-one time. Your room with a view awaits!
2. Do a digital detox
If it means locking your phone in the safe and forgetting it exists for a week then so be it, boo. Whilst you don’t need to go quite as tough-love as that, allocating set times for you to check emails (if you really must) is important for setting boundaries and allowing yourself time to rejuvenate. You didn’t come all this way to work remotely, after all. If your mind is still in work mode then you may as well be sitting hunched over your office chair with 117 tabs open, chasing invoices and wondering whether to sign off with one kiss or none. Out Of Office isn’t just an email signature, it’s a state of mind. Get the rest and rejuvenation you’ve paid for.
3. Connect with your body
The hold tan lines have on us, eh. There’s nothing like catching a glimpse of yourself in the hotel bathroom mirror – after that *elite* shower you take at the end of the day before heading out to dinner – to make you realise that yes, yes, you are indeed a thousand fire emojis. You’re moisturised, you’re relaxed, you’re glowing. Your body is a bloody wonderland. Now, touch me.
4. Make the most of uninterrupted you time
That little do not disturb sign they give you? Wear it out. And if you’re in an Airbnb, then wear the apartment out instead. Travelling with little ones is tricky but if you get a window of time to focus on you and your S.O, then don’t sleep on it. Claim it for all its worth. You deserve all the gelato and orgasms this world has to give.
“Make time for your pleasure when you’re on holiday and slow down the pace of your solo or partnered sex session. You could spend more time focusing on foreplay, or try edging techniques to prolong and intensify your pleasure and orgasm. Holidays are the ideal time to focus on your pleasure, whether going solo or spending time with a partner. Being away from the distractions of everyday life allows you to carve out valuable time to relax, spend quality time together with a partner, and explore your sexuality without feeling rushed or worried about being disturbed.
“There’s also nothing more exciting than being in a new environment and making the most of the privacy of a hotel room! So whether you’re looking to try something new with a partner or test out a new toy, a holiday away is the time to do it,” SheSpot Founders Holly and Kalila add.
5. Let go of the pressure
Vacay sex is only fun if you’re relaxed. If you get hung up about how much sex you’re having or not having, it quickly becomes a chore and that’s not what you signed up for. Go with the flow and let your sex drive lead the way.
Intimacy and connection isn’t just limited to sexual intercourse, it can be laughing, having great conversation, candlelit dinners, being playful, sightseeing (oi oi) rediscovering one another and prioritising one another’s needs. If an AM to PM shagathon is your M.O, then we fully support that, but you can certainly feel the love in other ways. Ever played a game of Rummy on the balcony with a bottle of Bintang in hand? Or temporarily adopted a stray cat for a week? We rest our case.
6. Try something new
Is there something in the water out here, or is he just tanned and delivering a pina colada to your sun lounger without needing to be asked? Whatever the reason, don’t overthink it. Ride that wave. Hammer the headboard, lube up, have sex on every available surface, introduce toys, try different positions, experiment with roleplay and order oysters to the room. Leave the missionary at the door and take your sweet time – there’s nowhere you need to be but here. Cue the massage oil and the playlist of bedrock hits.
Holly and Kalila also suggest branching out! “Our top tip for self sessions – make time for it! There’s nothing worse than being in a hurry or being worried about interruptions when you’re getting in the mood. You may want to try using a new vibrator (we’d always recommend using a water-based lube too for extra pleasure) and why not dip into a sexy story or explore some female-focused ethical porn. Cheeky tip: If the temperatures are soaring it’s the perfect time to experiment with temperature play – trace an ice cube over your body focusing on your erogenous zones (think nipples, neck, intimate area) for the ultimate cool down.”
Need help getting into the holiday mood? Why not turn your hotel room into a self-love spa. “Pack your favourite mood-setting treats to help you unwind, feel present and maximise your pleasure emotionally and physically. We’re loving Ilapothecary’s Feminine Happy Oil to nourish the whole body, followed by a few steamy stories from the Ferly sexual wellness app,” Holly and Kalila add.
7. Pack it like it’s hot
To hell with the oversized hat you’ll never wear, when it comes to precious suitcase space, lingerie reserved for special occasions and pleasure toys are worth their weight in gold. Dig out all the ‘fits that make you feel your best, whether that’s bright colours, spaghetti strap dresses or 17 bikinis. Yes, you’re only going for 4 days, what of it? Pack all the usual suspects like SPF and your beach reads but ensure you’ve got a dedicated quadrant for all your kink.
Talking of which, this isn’t the time to be faffing around with AAs, so leave your battery-powered pleasure toys behind. That said, rechargeables carry their very own risk – forgetting to pack your charger is just as much of a buzzkill, especially if you’ve run down your favourite toy to avoid any awkward encounters with security. Consider this your sign to locate your USB charger and dear lord, PACK IT.
If you’re worried about TSA fondling your goods in front of an audience, let us introduce you to this avocado-shaped muse. *Camera pans to Evii* With her portable jewellery tray charging base and discreet speaker-like design, the Evvii by premium toy brand Biird is the perfect, approachable toy to bring away with you and offers peace of mind if you are picked out of the line.
The SheSpot ladies would be inclined to agree! “Not only does it tick the waterproof and rechargeable boxes, its gorgeously discrete design means it’s barely recognisable as a toy, so perfect for gliding through security with zero embarrassment!
“Instead of packing your toys loosely in your bag we recommend popping them in a travel pouch to keep them discreet, concealed and clean! After all, you don’t want a toy destined for your intimate area to be nestled up by your shoes. Most premium vibrators come with a dedicated toy bag (we’re loving the Evii vibrator’s cute drawstring bag), and if you’re looking to travel with all your favourite sexual wellness products then the exclusively designed, organic cotton SheSpot x Zoella Pleasure Pouch is the perfect solution to keep them concealed for your eyes only.
“Don’t forget to clean your sex toys after use. Most waterproof toys can simply be washed in warm water, but you may want to buy a sex toy cleaner for added hygiene.”
If you want everything from your lube to your massage oil taken care of, snap up a SheSpot X Zoella box for the ultimate travel companion. Travelling for pleasure never felt so good.
“Lube plays an amazing role in heightening pleasure and sensitivity when used during solo play and partnered sex. You might be getting it on more frequently when you’re away on holiday and lube is a must to reduce any dryness and discomfort you may experience. If you’re planning on flying, opt for a lube 100ml or less to drop into your liquids bag,” Holly and Kalila add.
Travelling with sex toys is always daunting, thanks to horror stories of TSA airing the contents of your vibrating carry-on bag in front of frustrated / thoroughly entertained holidaymakers. No one wants to be *that* girl.
Holly and Kalila say, “It’s worth saying from the outset, there’s no shame in packing for pleasure – so if you want to bring along your favourite toys and products you absolutely should! If you’re packing light (and particularly if you don’t want to fork out for hold luggage!), leave your larger toys at home and opt for a smaller (but powerful) vibrator which can slip discreetly in your bag, reducing the risk of any awkward encounters at airport security.
Make sure to turn your toys off to prevent any unwanted buzzing in your bag. If your vibe is battery-operated, simply remove the batteries, and if your toy is USB rechargeable then you could run down the charge before you travel. Vibrators can be taken through most airports in both cabin baggage and checked-in baggage, so there’s no need to worry about restrictions when flying. Do check any specific country restrictions if you have any concerns though.”
Most airlines allow all kinds of sex toys in both carry-on and checked bags, as long as they’re not flagged as a weapon / self-defence, which means there’s a real grey area for handcuffs, ropes, impact toys and BDSM gear. It’s worth erring on the side of caution and only packing what would be deemed non-threatening by security standards and an uninitiated eye.
Always check country regulations as sex toys are illegal and considered pornographic materials in India, Saudi Arabia, the Maldives, Thailand, Malaysia, Vietnam, Alabama (USA) and the United Arab Emirates. If you’d rather not get arrested or fined, leave your tech in your bedside drawer if you’re travelling to any of those places or your hot holiday away might end on a rather sour note. No bueno!
8. Think twice about diving in!
Whether it’s a hot tub, the beach or a secluded bay, the potential for getting wet ‘n’ wild is everywhere when you’re on holiday. But whilst hanging out in any body of water might sound hot, underwater sex isn’t exactly germ-free. It comes with its fair share of risks, namely friction, vaginal tearing, UTIs and washing away all of your natural lubrication. Chlorine’s also a total savage because it can irritate your vagina’s delicate pH. BV does not a hot holiday make, so maybe ditch the pool sex. Given that it’s pretty tricky to use protection in water, you’re also at higher risk of getting an STI, so all things considered is the buoyancy worth the risk? You make the call. If the water really speaks to your soul in a big Piscerian way, maybe make out in the ocean and then take it back to your room or the shower. The build up to the main event will not disappoint.