In Conversation with SheSpot: The Sexual Wellness Brand Putting Female Pleasure First. Amen!
Fresh off the back of the launch of the hotly anticipated SheSpot X Zoella collaboration, we caught up with Holly and Kalila to find out all about the best subscription box on the internet. We're speaking facts.
Frustrated by the lack of accessible, safe and female-focused settings in which to explore their sexuality, Co-Founders Holly Jackson and Kalila Bolton created SheSpot in 2021 to try and breakdown some of the residual taboos that still exist around female pleasure and sexual wellness.
SheSpot has since become the go-to space for women’s sexual wellness products, spanning sex toys, lube and arousal oils, all the way through to intimate care and mood setting. Every season, they curate boxes of premium, full-sized products designed for self-love, complemented by top tips and advice on how to use them. SheSpot is for every woman and vulva-having person, whether you’re single, in a relationship, or anywhere in between.
Fresh off the back of the launch of the hotly anticipated SheSpot X Zoella collaboration, we caught up with Holly and Kalila to find out all about the best subscription box on the internet. We’re speaking facts.
From their top tips for introducing sex toys into your relationship to the benefits of prioritising your pleasure in a world hellbent on leaving women and people with vulvas out of the conversation altogether, and what’s next for SheSpot!
What inspired you to start SheSpot?
As best friends since our university days, we have always talked openly about sex and pleasure and we feel lucky to have had one another to share experiences with over the years.
Progressing through our twenties, we felt increasingly underserved by the more mainstream brands and retailers in the sexual wellness space. Not only was the shopping experience underwhelming, functional and often intimidating(!) but historically we were also disappointed by the brands on offer. Too often products were made using low-quality ingredients and designed with an obviously male gaze, with little regard for the needs and desires of women.
In recent years things have changed and we have started to see an incredible range of new female-founded brands in the sexual wellness space, on a mission to create high quality, beautifully designed products, by women, for women.
Holly and Kalila Founders of SheSpot
This was so exciting to us and we knew straight away we wanted to play a part in empowering women to navigate the rapidly evolving space. SheSpot was born to offer women a safe and empowering way to discover what’s out there and in turn, develop their confidence to explore their sexuality.
Why do you think so many of us – however we identify – struggle or hold back when it comes to exploring our own pleasure and what makes us tick?
Unfortunately, there are still taboos and myths around women’s pleasure that hold us back from embracing our sexuality and exploring our pleasure. These are largely fed by societal pressures which compound the idea that men are more sexual than women, or that women should derive pleasure only from a partner.
Discussions around pleasure were completely absent – instead, the focus was purely focused on sex with men, STIs, and avoiding pregnancy.SheSpot
Thinking back to our own sex ed classes at school – discussions around pleasure were completely absent – instead, the focus was purely focused on sex with men, STIs, and avoiding pregnancy. This type of approach denies women the space to explore their sexuality and preferences outside of traditional partnered sex – and can make prioritising pleasure challenging and intimidating. This is why we feel so passionately about normalising the subject of women’s pleasure and creating a space where it’s accessible and safe to do so.
What are your top tips for introducing toys and other wellness products into solo or partnered play?
If you’re on the fence about trying toys and other sexual wellness products, we strongly encourage you to take the plunge!
We understand that deciding which product to buy can be overwhelming and sometimes intimidating, so our top tip is to start simple and build your way up to the more adventurous items.
A few other really important tips for introducing pleasure and wellness products:
- Set the mood: If you’re going solo, be sure to make time for yourself and set the mood, as being relaxed in your environment is key to switching off your mind and allowing your body to feel pleasure. Ensure you have privacy and won’t be disturbed, light your favourite candle or play some music to create an inviting ambience. You may want to check out a sensual story or some audio erotica too – Ferly is our go-to for these!
- Don’t be afraid to experiment! We’d recommend trying out a few vibrators to explore external (clitoral) stimulation as well as internal stimulation too. Toys all come with different settings and speeds so it’s great fun to try a few out!
Introducing toys to partnered play is an amazing way of adding an element of fun, discovery, and extra pleasure to sex. Toys best suited to partnered play are bullets and pebble-style vibrators, whilst clitoral sucking and internal toys toys are better for solo play.
Check out our guide to choosing your next vibrator!
- Use more lube! Whether you’re using sex toys solo or having sex with a partner, we always recommend investing in a high-quality lube for maximum pleasure. Be sure to use water-based options with toys and condoms – you can read more about this on our blog.
If you’re hesitant to shop for toys or other pleasure products, or you don’t know where to start, then SheSpot boxes are a great way to try a broad range of well researched, body-safe brands, all tried and tested by the SheSpot team (it’s a hard job but someone’s got to do it!).
What does sexual wellness mean to you?
‘Sexual wellness’ is a relatively new concept and it’s often misunderstood. Crucially it’s not just about sex! We think of sexual wellness as an active process of prioritising self-love, both physically and emotionally.
Experience sharing is so important too as that’s the key to normalising conversations around women’s pleasure.SheSpot
It encompasses anything from self-pleasure (and that’s a biggie!), sex and intimate care, all the way through to meditation and mood setting. Experience sharing is so important too as that’s the key to normalising conversations around women’s pleasure, so in defining sexual wellness we talk about discussing this with friends and partners. Vibrator recommendations have become a favourite topic of conversation at our dinner parties and it’s amazing to have open chats with friends about this!
What are the benefits of looking after your sexual wellness and taking ownership of your own pleasure?
The benefits of investing in your sexual wellness and pleasure are quite literally endless!
Exploring self-pleasure can bring a whole host of incredible health and wellbeing benefits – from lowering stress levels to aiding restful sleep and improving body confidence (as well as being a lot of fun along the way!). Some research even indicates that vaginal stimulation can raise pain thresholds and ease pain like cramps and headaches!
Importantly, prioritising your own pleasure and needs can also help you to achieve a richer appreciation of your standards, boundaries and expectations when it comes to partner sex – creating a safer and more empowering experience.
What was the best thing about working with another brand on a collaborative box?
We absolutely loved collaborating with Zoella on the SheSpot X Zoella box! A really special part of the process was getting to meet the team in person in Brighton (armed with a suitcase full of cheeky items to show everyone!). After a year of starting our business in lockdown, it was such a treat to break free of virtual meetings and dodgy wifi!
Our favourite element of all was having open and real conversations about all things sexual wellness with a team of like-minded women that share our passion for breaking down the taboos surrounding women’s pleasure!
How do you curate the products that go in each of your boxes?
The goal of each SheSpot box is to create a complete self-love experience – from getting you in the mood, to getting you off 😉 That’s why we always look for a broad range of products for each box, from candles and aromatherapy to vibrators and arousal oils! We also think this makes the box feel more accessible to those who are new to the space as they’ll at least be familiar with the mood-setting side of things to get them started.
We absolutely love working with fellow female business owners on a mission to break down the same taboos we’ve encountered SheSpot
Sourcing premium, innovative products designed with women in mind is also key throughout the box curation process. It will come as no surprise that the majority of products matching these criteria are from female-founded brands! We absolutely love working with fellow female business owners on a mission to break down the same taboos we’ve encountered – hence why so many of them feature in our SheSpot boxes!
What is your ultimate self-care ritual?
The ultimate self-care ritual is definitely having a long bath with some pH-friendly bath products, bringing a favourite waterproof toy along too, and then pampering with luxury aromatherapy body products to completely relax and get ready for the best sleep ever.
Your favourite product from a SheSpot box so far…
Difficult question! This depends on how we are feeling as we’ve got something for every mood. We’re currently obsessed with Biird’s Evii vibrator as it’s so beautifully designed and is a really high-quality toy. We also love aromatherapy products for the ultimate relaxation and for getting in the mood. Ilapothecary’s Feminine Happy Oil is an absolute favourite at the moment.
What’s the best thing about working in the sexual wellness industry?
The people we get to work with! The vast majority of the brands we work with are female-founded and all exist to create the very best products for women. We’ve met an incredible range of founders who share our passion for women’s sexual wellness and it’s been inspiring to hear their stories, successes (and struggles!). We’re loving being part of this amazing, empowering community of women.
What changes or developments would you like to see happen in the sexual wellness space in the near future?
There are two big things for us here. Firstly, we would like to see a lifting of the ban and censoring that currently exists on discussing and advertising women’s sexual wellness and pleasure on social media. It’s sexist, suppresses women’s pleasure and reinforces taboos which have no place in the twenty-first century.
we would like to see a lifting of the ban and censoring that currently exists on discussing and advertising women’s sexual wellness and pleasure on social mediaSheSpot
As female business founders, the second change we’d love to see is an increase in the levels of investment that go towards female-founded businesses and those that are in the sexual wellness space. There’s a huge gender gap when it comes to venture capital investment – at last count, out of every £1 of venture capital investment, all-female founder teams in the UK get less than 1p (according to a British Business Bank report). This is even more pronounced in the sexual wellness space where many investors shy away from businesses centred around women’s health and pleasure – limiting the ability for new brands to grow and scale.
What’s next for SheSpot?!
We have been going for a year now and we’ve got so much we want to do with SheSpot in the near future! Our seasonal boxes are just the start… watch this space!
