From Charlie to Cecil, Wiggles to Morris, the expansive range of Caterpillar cakes on the market can be somewhat overwhelming
There’s the Euros, Wimbledon, The Grammys and The BRITS, but no competition or awards ceremony has kept us on the edge of our seats quite like the battle of the Colin the Caterpillar cakes. From Charlie to Cecil and Clyde, Wiggles to Morris, the expansive range of Caterpillar cakes on the market can be somewhat overwhelming, hence where we step in, shouldering the burden on the mission to crown one caterpillar and one caterpillar only the winner of the ultimate prize- top of the birthday party shopping list. Last year saw the news dominated by many events, but one story that kept us captivated at every turn was the war of the M&S Colin vs Aldi’s Cuthbert caterpillar, and whilst unfortunately we couldn’t get our paws on an IRL Cuthbert to try (he’s been somewhat MIA ever since), we instead put 5 other Colin and Colin-doppelgängers to a blind taste test (fairs fair and all) to settle this war once and for all. Strap yourselves in people, it’s a wild ride…
Wiggles the Caterpillar from Sainsbury’s
Price: £7 (Sainsbury’s Local)
Serves 14
First up we have the now identified Wiggles from supermarket giant Sainsbury’s, whose slogan ‘helping everyone eat better’ must have been written without taste tasting their version of Colin, because the reviews came in pretty harsh. Visually, Wiggles is drake, with his sprinkles, smarties and chocolate button eyes giving him a classic appearance that would be hard to critique. Unfortunately upon cutting into Wiggles’ body (sorry buddy) the positives were slightly harder to come by, as visually the cake itself appeared dry even upon first look.
The chocolate buttercream swirl that forms an integral part of the caterpillar cake experience was well received, with a nice texture and Betty Crocker-esque taste, bumping Wiggles up in the team’s estimations.
The dryness of the cake was confirmed upon tasting, however a couple of nibbles later did reveal a few positives to boost our spirits (and that of the Sainsbury’s PR team). The chocolate buttercream swirl that forms an integral part of the caterpillar cake experience was well received, with a nice texture and Betty Crocker-esque taste, bumping Wiggles up in the team’s estimations. The exterior chocolate shell was tasty but thin, neither helping nor hindering its rating but worth noting if you’re seeking a truly decadent caterpillar experience. Overall unfortunately Wiggles was never going to top the leaderboard as a result of his dry cake texture, but he certainly put up a good fight and to look at, he makes for a striking contender.
Overall rating: 3/5
Morris the Caterpillar from Morrisons
Price: £6
Serves 12
At first whiff Morris scored highly, with his chocolatey scent and beautiful buttercream swirl positioning him already above Wiggles at first impression. His thicker exterior chocolate made for more of an al dente crunch experience, adding an important textural element that seemed to be important in the overall cake experience.
As the cake itself somehow managed to trump Wiggles’ dryness (imagine two days in an unsealed cake tin), unfortunately Morris was destined for the caterpillar graveyard.
The flavour of the sponge was a spot above that of Wiggles too, as whilst still dry, his chocolate flavours were more intense and noticeable contributing to a more decadent experience overall. One member of the team thought that his buttercream was too sweet, but we’re here to question if there’s really such a thing? Morris’ exterior shell was topped with mini eggs as part of his Easter getup, which goes without saying earns him extra brownie points, however as the cake itself somehow managed to trump Wiggles’ dryness (imagine two days in an unsealed cake tin), unfortunately Morris was destined for the caterpillar graveyard. 5 stars for effort though, M!
Overall rating: 1/5
Colin the Caterpillar from M&S
Price: £7
Serves 10
Upon slicing, the cake was noticeably more crumbly than his predecessors, with a great initial scent and ratio of exterior chocolate to cake.
The OG, the one and only, the reason for this war: we present Colin the Caterpillar from Marks and Spencer. Colin was the third contestant to be ranked, and let’s just say if you want a man you can rely on to always perform, that man is Colin.
Upon slicing, the cake was noticeably more crumbly than his predecessors, with a great initial scent and ratio of exterior chocolate to cake.
Upon slicing, the cake was noticeably more crumbly than his predecessors, with a great initial scent and ratio of exterior chocolate to cake. If there’s one thing Colin won’t do it’s disappoint, and from first bite it was clear that his light, fluffy and moist texture was a cut above the rest. Now remember this was a blind taste test, however the team were determined only Colin could deliver on this level of moreish flavour, and they were right! The balance of cake to buttercream was simply perfection, and can we just take a moment for Colin’s shoes which were undoubtedly the biggest and most creamy in taste. Colin’s shell is covered in Smarties and his simple but classic exterior is one really no-one can fault. M&S- you’re looking good so far… This is not just any old caterpillar, this is the god-tier caterpillar.
Overall rating: 4/5
Cecil the Caterpillar from Waitrose
Price: £7
Serves 12
Colin was always going to be a hard act to follow, but would the creme de la creme of supermarkets, Waitrose, be able to knock him from the top spot? Introducing Cecil. Similar to Colin in appearance but visibly wider than the other caterpillars, Cecil is broad in stature and serves some serious face. With a white chocolate drizzle across his exterior shell, plentiful selection of colourful Smarties and endearing icing eyes on his chocolate face, Cecil is a caterpillar we were excited to meet.
Drier than the Sahara, at this point we’re wondering how hard it is to get some moisture into these caterpillars, and where Cuthbert is when you really need him?!
His chocolate casing was tasty and thick, giving an overall luxurious birthday cake experience, however once again problems were encountered when it came to the cake of Cecil itself. Drier than the Sahara, at this point we’re wondering how hard it is to get some moisture into these caterpillars, and where Cuthbert is when you really need him?! Cecil certainly could have done with a more even cake to buttercream ratio to help alleviate some of this dryness, and for that reason Colin thus far remains head and shoulders above the rest.
Overall rating: 2/5
Clyde the Caterpillar from Asda
Price: £6
Serves 12
Last but not least and in the final opportunity to outdo Colin in the quest for King, please welcome Clyde the caterpillar from ASDA. Perhaps most realistic in his appearance thanks to his green face, Clyde was crumbly to cut and perhaps the messiest of all to serve.
To quote Dana Davis’ character in the ‘90s romcom Ten Things I Hate About You: “I know you can be underwhelmed and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”- yes, yes you can.
His buttercream icing received some notable ‘oohs’ and ‘yums’, but with the lack of exterior chocolate remaining on a slice in any given bite, the buttercream alone was not enough to bring much va va voom to the overall experience. His edible bobbly toppings and sprinkles were a welcome touch and served Clyde well in the aesthetics department, but unfortunately the rest of the experience was neither here nor there. To quote Dana Davis’ character in the ‘90s romcom Ten Things I Hate About You: “I know you can be underwhelmed and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”- yes, yes you can.
Overall rating: 2/5
So that concludes the battle of the caterpillars, and with one clear winner we can’t help but wonder if we’re surprised by this outcome? If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, and may you forever reign strong in the birthday cake kingdom, Colin!
