The sobbing-in-the-shower song that lifts you up when the world feels like it’s crashing down around you. The break-up anthem that’s got you through the ending of the relationship you knew was bad news but held onto anyway. The dancing around your room in your underwear, feeling like the ultimate bad b*tch after a glass of Vino on a Friday night song. The karaoke classic that all the girls grab for a mic upon hearing the first 0.02 seconds of. The song that instantly transports you to warmer climates, cool drink in hand and bopping across a sticky dancefloor. Music is indisputably emotive, and sometimes the difference between a great day or a terrible one, getting the job or freezing mid-interview, and giving your number to the guy you’ve been making eyes with at the bar for the past hour, or avoiding flirtatious glances altogether.

As part of International Women’s Day 2022 we’re extending the celebrations all week long, and today we’re celebrating the brilliant female artists that share their deepest vulnerabilities, loves, losses and everything in between to create music that we feel so deeply connected to. Too often women within the music industry are pitted against each other, with everything from their appearance, weight, red carpet looks and relationships judged under a microscope, being held to impossible standards that would wear even the most self-assured souls down. Today we’re celebrating the unity, connection and ‘I feel so SEEN’ emotions the female artists we know and love create when sharing their art, and took to Instagram to ask YOU which empowering bops always leave you feeling 10/10. The result? A playlist of songs by women we’ve long admired, always there when you need an added pep in your step and slice of joy in your day, and you best believe it will be on repeat in Zoella HQ for the foreseeable.

Find the playlist on Spotify here!

Whilst every day is International Women’s Day in our book, the 8^th March is globally recognised as *the* day we come together to celebrate the social, economical, cultural and political achievements of women. It’s also a day to raise awareness of inequality and drive positive change to forge a gender-equal world, free of stereotypes and discrimination. 

After recent reports that the pandemic has exacerbated existing gender inequalities, setting back progress by decades – especially for women from minority Black or Asian backgrounds – this year’s IWD and the #BreakTheBias theme feels more poignant than ever. 

Whether deliberate or unconscious, gender bias is what holds women back from equal opportunities in every area of our lives. It’s what prevents women from climbing the ladder, being hired, promoted, believed, taken seriously or even listened to. 

Unconscious bias and deep-rooted prejudices are so ingrained in our unequal societies that they’re not always easy to spot, thus increasingly difficult to combat. 

Each of these eight galvanizing books help to shine a light on the implicit nature of bias and how it shapes the way we live, whilst providing powerful insights on how we can challenge those ingrained belief systems. 

From the pay gap to the motherhood penalty, here’s a list of eight essential reads to add to your shelves this International Women’s Day so that we can break the bias and elevate women, all the way to the top. 

1 Invisible Women – Caroline Criado Perez

With hoards of eye-opening data, stories and new research, award-winning campaigner Caroline Criado Perez will help you understand the unseen bias at work in our everyday lives in a world designed for and by, drum roll please…. men.  

From government policy to technology and medical research, Invisible Women reveals data bias that systemically ignores, overlooks and excludes half of the global population with its one size-fits-all-men approach. 

Reading it will be both an inspiring and infuriating journey. Put it in the freezer at regular intervals. 

Purchase the book from Bookshop.org here!

2 The Gendered Brain: The Neuroscience That Shatters the Myth of the Female Brain – Gina Rippon 

Cognitive neuroscientist Gina Rippon has spent her career questioning ideas that the brains of men and women are fundamentally different. Using cutting edge neuroscience, she debunks the destructive stereotypes we face on a daily basis and raises some interesting questions about how these expectations condition our brains and shape our behaviours and abilities to our detriment. 

In her book, she exposes flawed research – turns out even impartial science can be sexist – and examines the effects of living in a gendered world. 

“Brains reflect the lives they have lived, not just the sex of their owners,” Rippon says. In other words, our brains absorb and reflect social attitudes that surround us, meaning it’s not biology but self-belief, social experiences, culture and politics that are the real brain changers. 

Purchase the book from Booksahop.org here!

3 Why Women Are Poorer Than Men & What We Can Do About It – Annabelle Williams

“Feminism has always been about economics, but economics hasn’t generally been about women” – Annabelle Williams

In her book Why Women Are Poorer Than Men former financial journalist for The Times, Annabelle Williams, reveals what got us to where we are and what we can do to incite positive change. Finance is a feminist issue and the gender pay gap is only part of the story. In order to guarantee true financial equality, women need to reclaim parts of the system they have been culturally excluded from, from pensions to pay structures, to investments.

This ground-breaking expose will empower your financial decisions and arm you with the knowledge needed to demand equality and challenge the ingrained beliefs that hold us back from moving forward. It’s time to rethink our approach to money. 

Purchase the book from Bookshop.org here!

4 Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong – Angela Saini 

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus – we’re fundamentally different. For centuries, that’s what Science has told us but is that the whole story? 

Here, science journalist Angela Saini looks into the gender wars of science, biology, psychology and anthropology to see how true that is, shedding light on controversial research and revealing an alternative view of science in which women are included, not excluded.  

Purchase the book from Bookshop.org here!

5 Women & Leadership – Julia Gillard & Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala

While women in leadership roles are on the rise, they still make up less than 10% of national leaders worldwide. If unequal access to power fills you with visceral rage, then this book will resonate.

Drawing on current research and conversation with some of the world’s most powerful women including Jacinda Ardern and Hillary Clinton, Women & Leadership is a timely call for a seismic change in the stale patterns of authority. 

It explores the trajectories and lived experiences of female leaders, revealing the shocking reality of the continuing gender inequality in access to power and how unconscious bias shapes the way these women are perceived by the media.  

Purchase the book from Bookshop.org here!

6 The Motherhood Penalty – Joeli Brearley 

Exploring the stark reality of motherhood and career discrimination, author Joeli Brearley – who was sacked whilst pregnant via voicemail (true story!) – highlights the price women pay throughout their career if they decide to have a child. 

We’ve all heard of the gender pay gap but The Motherhood Penalty explores the procreation pay gap that exists between mothers and non-mothers. By the age of 42, mothers who are in full-time work are earning 11 per cent less than full-time women without children (TUC), compared with men who benefit from a fatherhood bonus, receiving a 6% pay increase on average according to the New York Times. This bias has a profound effect on women’s career prospects forever. With the second most expensive childcare system in the world, women in the UK are given no choice but to walk away from their careers or pay to go to work.

Whether you’re a mother who is sick of being sidelined, undermined, and underpaid. A stay-at-home mother who wants to work but can’t afford to. A future parent who is scared that having children will affect your career. An employer who wants to get the best out of its parent employees, or you simply want a stronger, fairer economy, The Motherhood Penalty is an expose of the work practices and antiquated systems that we’ve been conditioned to accept and a toolkit for how to challenge them. It’s full of practical advice to help you navigate systemic barriers when they slap you in the face.

Purchase the book from Bookshop.org here!

7 The Authority Gap – Mary Ann Sieghart 

Eye-opening and gloriously galvanising, The Authority Gap reveals the unconscious and deliberate bias at work in our everyday lives and reflected in the world around us. It demonstrates that despite the strides we’ve made toward equality, women are still not taken as seriously as men. 

With illuminating contributions from Booker Prize winner Bernardine Evaristo, Mary Beard, Baroness Hale and Hillary Clinton, it is an impassioned, meticulously argued and optimistic call to arms for anyone who cares about creating a fairer society. 

Send to all the men you know. 

Purchase the book from Bookshop.org here!

8 The Fictional Woman -Tara Moss 

In her first non-fiction book, Tara Moss blends memoir and social analysis to examine the common fictions about women. She traces key moments in her life – from small-town tomboy in Canada, to international fashion model in the 90s, to bestselling author taking a polygraph test in 2002 to prove she writes her own work – and weaves her own experiences into a broader look at everyday sexism and issues surrounding the underrepresentation of women, modern motherhood, body image and the portrayal of women in politics, entertainment, advertising and the media. 

Deeply personal and revealing, this is more than just Tara Moss’s own story. At once insightful, challenging and entertaining, she asks how we can change the old fictions, one woman at a time.

For anyone who thinks the fight for equality has already been won… give them this book. 

Purchase the book here!

Let’s hear it for the on-screen baddies! 

As terrifying as they might be, there’s also something admirable about their wicked deeds and appetite for evil and corruption. Whilst we can’t condone skinning puppies, murdering your own cousin or putting a sleeping curse on a child, you can’t help but root for these beautifully nuanced femme fatales. 

From Miranda Priestly to Maleficent, complicated psychopaths and drag queen inspired sea witches, here’s 12 magnificently mean anti-heroes we can’t help but love. 

Bellatrix Lestrange – Harry Potter 

One of the most terrifying and unpredictable characters in the Potterverse (and Voldemort’s most loyal wing-woman) Bellatrix Lestrange is one witch we wouldn’t want to f*ck with. Devoid of remorse and morally bankrupt, she’s responsible for some of the most heinous acts in Harry Potter. Need we remind you of Dobby’s demise?

She may have murdered her own cousin and tortured wizards and muggles alike but something about Helen Bonham Carter’s crazed cackle and mock baby voice made Bella a beautiful monster with mad Dark Art skills. As for traditional gender roles? She Avada Kedavras all over them. 

Miranda Priestly – Devil Wears Prada

Where would we be without florals for spring, ground-breaking? The infamous Editor-in-Chief portrayed by queen Meryl may be savage, sarcastic and impossible to please, but she didn’t get to the top by being laid back and likeable. She’s savage, assertive and rules the Runway office with an iron fist, and she just so happens to be a boss who’s a woman. If she were a man, all those traits would be most unremarkable. 

Maleficent – Sleeping Beauty

Sure, she may be a cold and callous Mistress of Evil but what made her that way? Why, King Stefan of course, when he robbed her wings to get to the throne. In the live action film starring Angelina Jolie, we get to see that maybe there’s two sides to every story and Maleficent isn’t the horned villain without a heart but rather a tragic hero instead. 

Cruella de Vil -Cruella

Easily one of Disney’s most evil villains (clue’s in the name), Cruella has been terrifying children and adults for over 60 years. Like Maleficent, her character got the origin story treatment in the live-action film Cruella, starring Emma Stone as the infamous dog-napper. Set in 1970s London amidst the punk rock revolution, the prequel sees the titular character known then as Estella, working as a fashion designer for fashion maven Baroness Von Hellman. In this coming-of-age film, she’s not cast as the evil unhinged puppy killer 101 Dalmatians made her out to be, but a rebellious orphan motivated by the trauma of her mother’s death and driven to a life of crime. We’re not saying we forgive her, for there are some crimes from which there is no redemption and skinning fictional puppies for spotty coats is one of them. Emma Stone’s Cruella, however, is decisively more human. She’s bad(ass) but she’s not evil. 

Regina George – Mean Girls

As the ultimate Queen Bee of North Shore High and leader of The Plastics, Regina George was the obvious choice for a socialite villain but was she the nastiest skank bitch we’ve ever met? That seems a bit excessive. So what if her hair was insured for $10,00 dollars and she told Jason to shave his back – she wasn’t the only wolf in pink clothing. What about Cady and Janis scheming to make her “fat”? The woman thought butter was a carb for crying out loud, she was fair game. 

Whilst her character was no saint, Regina-Stop-Trying-To-Make-Fetch-Happen-George certainly gave us a whole Burn Book of iconic pop culture material to quote for years to come. She was a flawed and fallible human being just like the rest of us and to those who disagree we say: boo, you whore. As Aaron Samuels shrewdly observes, “there’s good and bad in everybody, Regina’s just more upfront about it”. 

Ursula – The Little Mermaid

Embracing her fatness, her purple skin and her greys? My dear sweet child, that’s what she does. It’s what she lives for. The half-woman half-octopus is a shape-shifting sea witch with a full face of makeup she squeezes out of an unsuspecting shellfish. Poor unfortunate soul. And for that, she might just go down as one of the best villains Disney’s ever made. Her voice is all over TikTok, proving that 32 years after she first graced our screens, she’s still a bad bitch. We demand a live-action prequel. 

Villanelle – Killing Eve

From her impeccable couture outfits to her unique mannerisms, Villanelle is the delightfully dangerous assassin no one wants to cross. She slaughters people for a living and takes great pleasure in inflicting cruelty on others. Remember when she threw that kid’s ice cream onto her lap in the first episode? Zero fucks given. Her penchant for evil paired with her fanciful personality is enthralling to watch and the main reason we tune in, season after season. 

Catwoman – Batman Returns

“I am catwoman. Hear me roar.” With lines like that, you can’t help but root for this leather rocking anti-heroine. As Batman’s longest-reigning villain, his greatest enemy, crime-fighting partner and high-key love interest, Selina Kyle aka Catwoman has enjoyed quite the evolution from the timid secretary she once was. She’s one of the most progressive female characters in the male-dominated comic book world, where women are often relegated to the sidelines to look pretty. She defies social conventions, refuses to bow down to the patriarchy and doesn’t take bullshit from anyone. We’d rather be rescued by her any day of the week. 

O-Ren Ishii – Kill Bill: Vol 1

Expertly played by Lucy Lui, O-Ren Ishii aka Cottonmouth is a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (DeVAS) and queen of the Tokyo Yakuza underworld. She’s also one of Tarantino’s best ever villains. Case in point: she claims her spot in a male-dominant industry and beheads the only boss who was against having her as the Yakuza leader. All whilst wearing a kimono. The final scene sees her swing a katana around like a badass in a snow-filled duel to the tune of Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood by Santa Esmerelda, and it’s pure movie magic. You knew shit was gonna go down the second she took off her sandals…

Anna Delvey – Inventing Anna

Ozark actress, Julia Garner, is simply iconic in her role as real-life fraudster Anna Delvey – the Russian-born German who faked an identity as a wealthy heiress to cheat New York socialites out of large sums of money. Ever since the nine-part series landed on Netflix, we’ve been captivated by Shonda Rhimes’ dramatisation of the real Soho grifter. There’s just something about a female con artist! Just don’t ask us to do her accent…

Red – Us

In an incredible dual performance, Lupita Nyong’o plays both the hero and the villain in Jordan Peele’s pure blood-curdling horror movie Us. Such is her talent!

The film opens in 1986 with a young girl named Adelaide, who’s visiting the Santa Cruz boardwalk with her family. She wanders up the beach and encounters a creepy house of mirrors where she appears to come face to face with her double. Years later, Adelaide returns to the beach in California for a vacation with her family and utter chaos ensues when a group of doppelgängers known as ‘The Tethered’ begin terrorising them, one of which has been following Adelaide since she was a kid. It’s no coincidence that they look just like the Wilson family – they are copies of the humans that live above earth whilst they are forced to live in the shadows below…

Nyong’o is the star of the movie with her embodiment of the terrifying and robotic Red, whose guttural voice is the stuff of nightmares. We advise multiple viewings to get your head around *that* twist ending. 

Winifred Sanderson – Hocus Pocus 

It’s hard to believe Hocus Pocus was a box office flop when it premiered in 1993. The audacity. What exactly did they watch? 

Fortunately, millennials everywhere loved it for its 90s nostalgia – Madonna’s cone boobs, anyone? It’s since cemented itself as a Halloween cult classic, impacting the sales of Black Flame candles indefinitely.

The star of the movie is undoubtedly Winifred “Winnie” Anderson (her and Thackery Binx of course, who we later decide we fancy when he’s in a baggy white shirt and no longer a cat. Quite the plot twist). 

Sure, she terrorises the town, sucking the life out of the children of Salem before sunrise to stay alive but questionable morals aside, there’s something fascinating about Bette Midler’s bucktoothed villainess. Maybe it’s the way she says ‘booOook’ or her hatred for mornings (can relate), whatever the essence of her on-screen magic, Halloween simply isn’t Halloween without an obligatory Winifred or ten wafting about with her signature lippy and red wig. 

The spooky sequel is officially in the works and set to be out in fall ‘22, with all three actresses reprising their roles as Sarah, Mary and Winifred, so hold onto your broomsticks sisters, it’s been 300 years but the old broads are finally back to run amok. Amok! Amok!   

Always at the end of the phone after a terrible Hinge date. Master of the best roast dinner in the country, no questions asked. Number one cheerleader when you get that well deserved promotion. Willing to jump in the car at a moments notice when you need a shoulder to cry on. Mums are pretty incredible, and what better time than Mother’s Day itself- this year falling on Sunday 27th March- to recognise and celebrate all they do to help us shine, no matter our stage in life. We <3 you mums!

From recipe books you know they’ll spend hours flicking through, to gorgeous skincare products perfect for creating a pamper routine they deserve to indulge in, we’ve compiled a comprehensive selection of gift ideas to say ‘thank you’ to all the mums and mother figures in our lives for their wonderful ways and one of a kind quirks. Starting from as little as £12, showing her how much you care doesn’t need to break the bank …

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

In her viral 2016 TedTalk– now amassing nearly three-quarters of a million views- Ella Dawson, social media manager by day, sex writer by night and Herpes positive at both AM to PM, takes to the stage to state: “STIs aren’t a consequence, they’re inevitable”. 

Ella has gone on to amass nearly 10,000 followers on Instagram sharing content about her herpes diagnosis and continues to work towards a world in which herpes can shake the stigma- a change that can’t come soon enough for the estimated 491.5 million people living with HSV-2 worldwide. Despite its commonplace nature, those who aren’t living with herpes or aren’t aware of their herpes status (presenting as asymptomatic can be common) often don’t know the facts about the virus because of the scaremongering that so often circulates in the media. Despite being painful and inconvenient at times, a herpes diagnosis doesn’t make you less worthy of love, both from yourself and others and certainly doesn’t mean your life is over. So, let’s break it down:

There are two strains of the herpes simplex virus: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Type one is usually linked to blisters and cold sores on the face and mouth, whereas type two is associated with ano-genital blisters. Despite its bad rep, HSV is an incredibly common infection with as many as 7 in 10 people (70%) of the UK population having HSV-1 and approximately 1 in 10 people (10%) having HSV-2. Already feeling less alone if you’re herpes positive? We hope so!

What is HSV-1?

You can transmit or contract HSV-1 (oral herpes) through direct contact with a herpes sore, saliva, or other bodily secretions during an active episode or viral shedding (keep reading for more on this). In short, if you touch a partner’s cold sore and then touch your own face or genitals soon after, you could contract HSV-1. It’s possible that the virus can be transmitted through things like sharing a lip balm or using the same glass to drink from, but contracting herpes like this is very rare as the virus cannot survive for long when away from the skin. 

HSV-1 for many can be contracted in childhood courtesy of overenthusiastic Aunties who can’t resist a smooch when they have a cold sore, but as part of the miseducation surrounding the virus, most don’t associate cold sores with being part of the herpes family. Spoiler alert: if you have cold sores, you have herpes! And despite the fact that HSV-1 prefers to live in mouths and HSV-2 prefers to live in genitals, they’re capable of swapping neighbourhoods if they fancy, meaning it is possible for those with HSV-1 to accidentally spread genital herpes too. 

What is HSV-2?

HSV-2 aka genital herpes is typically passed on through vaginal, anal and oral sex and includes symptoms such as blisters around your genitals and anus that burst to leave red, open sores, tingling, burning and itching sensations and pain when you urinate. Herpes is more prevalent in people who own a vagina as the mucous membrane of the vaginal wall can act as a breeding ground for bacteria. Again it’s possible to be asymptomatic when HSV-2 positive, making it even easier to pass on unwillingly, especially as herpes is not included within regular STI testing. 

So, You’ve Just Been Diagnosed. What now?

Firstly, don’t panic! Education can be helpful in understanding more about how herpes may impact aspects of your life, but when first accepting a herpes diagnosis your first thoughts are probably 1) how can it be managed 2) can you still have a normal sex life and enjoy casual flings if you want to (yes). 

Once in the body herpes can be triggered by differing lifestyle and environmental factors depending on the individual, but the most common include:

• Being generally unwell  
• Stress
• A weakened immune system 
• Alcohol 
• Smoking
• Ultraviolet light – for example, from sunbathing or sunbeds
• The menstrual cycle

If you’re going through your first outbreak, I first want to start off by saying that it doesn’t take away from your beauty, physically or mentally. I remember feeling really gross during my first outbreak and occupying myself with hobbies that I enjoyed really helped a lot. Physically, I would recommend drinking LOTS of water so that the pain of using the bathroom is less drastic, as well as either peeing in a tub of water OR covering your outbreak with a plastic spoon.”

Reassuringly, the first outbreak of herpes is always the worst, so despite being potentially incredibly painful and uncomfortable, it can be helpful to know it won’t ever be this bad again. Symptoms tend to be worse during this primary outbreak as the body hasn’t had time to produce its own immune response to herpes, but can be expected to heal within 2-3 weeks. The first signs tend to present within a few days of exposure and can include the obvious cold sores in the case of an HSV-1 infection or genital lesions for HSV-2, plus additional flu-like symptoms, including fever, chills, sore throat and general body aches.  It’s worth noting that not everyone who contracts herpes will experience this initial outbreak however and may continue living life asymptomatically, which is why using condoms and other barrier methods and being regularly tested is so important. 

Primary outbreaks usually last longer than any subsequent episodes which can be more easily managed once an individual is aware of the virus and symptoms reappearing. And more good news- symptoms don’t always reappear! Lots of people suffer with an initial outbreak before the virus then lives dormant in their bodies, never surfacing again. In these cases, it’s still important to take precautions against spreading herpes to other people, as being asymptomatic doesn’t always mean non-contagious.

Managing Outbreaks and Treatment Options

If you do struggle with outbreaks of herpes, there are plenty of things you can do to make symptoms more manageable, less painful and heal quicker so you can get back to feeling your normal self.

Antiviral medication 

The most popular treatment for outbreaks of HSV is the use of oral antiviral medication like acyclovir, famciclovir or valacyclovir which can be obtained at a sexual health clinic or prescribed by your GP,  and used both to prevent and manage outbreaks if they happen, whilst also reducing your risk of transmitting the virus to other people. 

Lidocaine 

Lidocaine is a numbing medication used to numb an area of the body to help reduce pain or discomfort, and in the case of herpes can be applied directly to genital lesions to ease the pain of any outbreaks. FYI, this can be particularly useful during the first outbreak when urination can be painful! 

Supplements and Diet

Many alternative and holistic schools of thought believe herbal and natural remedies to be of great benefit in managing herpes, but there is limited research to support how much any of these methods are of use. What can be proven however is the link between a healthy lifestyle in which you’re getting enough sleep, staying hydrated (cutting back on alcohol and caffeine can sometimes help) and eating a varied diet to keep yourself from getting run down and potentially triggering an outbreak. Research suggests the supplement Lysine- one of nine essential amino acids that the human body doesn’t produce but can be absorbed from food or taking supplements- is a great alternative treatment option in both reducing the occurrence of outbreaks and healing existing ones quicker which works by interfering with the activity of arginine (another amino acid) and block herpes replication. 

Over the counter painkillers, epsom salt baths and using a hot or cold compress on blisters can all also help ease pain, accelerate the healing process and make everything that bit more comfortable. 

Viral shedding. What’s That?

We hope by now you’re feeling a bit better about life with herpes and might even be changing your opinions about viewing it as a restrictive life sentence you can’t escape from, but there’s one more important thing to know before diving back into enjoying sex (of which there is of course no rush): the small matter of viral shedding. Those with HSV periodically go through phases in which they are “shedding” the virus, meaning that their bodies are producing infectious virus particles that can be transmitted to others without presenting any of the normal HSV symptoms. The Journal of Clinical Investigation found that “females with recent HSV-2 genital infections shed virus on 28 percent of days on average. Males with recent HSV-2 genital infections, or a history of frequent herpes outbreaks, were found to shed virus on 32 percent of days on average.” Some studies suggest this is closer to 10-20% of days depending on if you have asymptomatic or symptomatic HSV, but the good news is the longer you’ve had HSV, the less shedding tends to occur. 

Future Partners and Disclosing Your Status

As we hope you can agree, living with herpes really isn’t as bad as the media has presented it to be in the past, but the stigma, misinformation and lack of education about life after a positive diagnosis all contribute to a world in which sharing that you have herpes can feel like the scariest thing in the world. 

“Disclosing was one of the main things I was worried about. In fact, it was one of the first questions I asked the nurse who diagnosed me,” says Alma Mae.

“It took me about a year to fully accept my herpes and I 100% agree that the psychological impact of herpes is a lot more serious and hard to accept than the physical part. Physically, herpes is a super manageable STD to live with. As time goes on, you get less and less outbreaks but the feeling of shame, disgust, guilt, etc. is a lot harder to shake. The stigma surrounding herpes is what makes us feel horrible, and it’s also the reason why others are so rude to people living with it. We are always misunderstood. No matter what we feel about us having herpes (sad, depressed, content, etc.) society always finds a problem with it.”

Disclosing to new partners can feel daunting, but when sharing an intimate experience like sex, isn’t it better for it be with someone who is mature and compassionate enough to have conversations about informed consent and health in an open way? It’s pretty much the bare minimum. Ella Dawson, mentioned earlier thanks to her bad ass STI TedTalk, has written an incredibly in depth and empowering piece about disclosing your status to potential partners, so we’ll point you in the direction of her website for a slice of her incredible expertise. But in short, don’t apologise, try not to act as if you’re breaking the worst news in the world, and be prepared to answer questions. 

“I honestly enjoy sex more now that I have herpes.” says Alma who went on to create the Facebook community ‘The Herpes Self Space’ after her TikTok videos became so popular that she was inundated with fellow HSV positive people seeking support.  “Before I was diagnosed I had never been in a relationship. I constantly hooked up with guys I met at parties, dating apps, etc. At the time I didn’t think much of it, but looking back I realise how I was never comfortable while having sex. I always felt horrible about myself afterwards too. The only thing that has changed about my sex life is my level of comfortablity and (obviously) not having sex when an outbreak is present.”

The stigma of herpes and STIs in general disappears when education properly bridges the gap between fact and myth, and instead shares the reality of life with manageable and controllable STIs, empowering individuals to share their sexual health status with partners and test regularly. There is plenty to unlearn in the quest to destigmatise sexually transmitted infections and diseases, and turning to education to unpack our own personal bias when receiving a positive result all contributes to this. 

Nobody is asking you all to sleep with someone with herpes, but we do want to be treated with respect. I’m hoping that in the future more people are educated about herpes and how damaging the herpes stigma is mentally. That way, people will develop more empathy, which is what we truly need.

Alma Mae

If you are herpes positive: 

• You are not dirty.
• You are not less worthy of love.
• You are still the same person you were before.
• You are deserving of respect from partners and yourself.
• You can still have a sex life that you love.
• You will be okay. 

For more support on your herpes journey, we recommend following these incredible HSV education advocates:

• Ella Dawson of @brosandprose
• Alma Mae of @almamae
• Emily Depasse of @sexelducation
• @my_boyfriend_has_herpes
• Tricia Wise of @safe.slut

In 2015, Author and PR consultant Sophie Tanner tied the knot in a sologamist ceremony in Brighton, complete with white wedding dress, bridesmaids, and her darling four-legged ring bearer, Ella.

Prompted by a string of unfaithful boyfriends and a downward spiral of depression, Sophie decided marrying herself was the ultimate act of self-love and therein lies the inspiration for her Bridget-Jones style novel, only Mr Darcy is noticeably absent in Tanner’s version.

Loosely based on Sophie’s own personal experiences, her aptly titled debut novel Reader, I Married Me tells the story of newly-single Chloe Usher. After breaking up with the love of her life, her friends tell her to get back out there and bag the man of her dreams but after a disastrous date and one too many gins, she has a revelation – she doesn’t need a man to make her happy. She can choose herself. Disenchanted by men and online dating, she embarks on a somewhat bumpy road to self-discovery, culminating in her iconic solo wedding day.

Tanner’s hot take on the classic rom-com serves as a welcome tonic for anyone who’s ever felt the stigma of singledom in their thirties or the pressure to be married to feel validated. Reader, I Married Me is your reminder that you don’t need someone else to complete you.

If you’re looking for your next piece of feminist Up Lit, don’t let this one pass you by.

Keep reading to find out what the team thought of February’s book club!

Lareese’s thoughts…

You know exactly what you’re getting with Tanner’s glorious tour de force Reader, I Married Me and I appreciate that kind of transparency in a book. No one likes a blurb that reels you in only to let you down.

It’s a fun and uplifting read with an empowering message about self-love and learning to live life on your terms, regardless of societal expectations and norms. The characters are thoughtfully crafted and well-observed, with a few grating antagonists thrown in there for good measure. Giles and Linda, I’m looking at you, you weasels. I loved the Brighton setting and felt this leant the story a lovely energy reminiscent of the vibrant city I know and preach about often. For fellow Brightonians, you’ll have no trouble picturing exactly where the events of the novel play out.

For anyone who’s ever been ridiculed for being 30+ single and happy, or met with blank expressions when you’ve bellowed, ‘I DON’T NEED A MAN’ from your chest, consider this book your readerly match. Sophie Tanner understood the assignment loud and clear.

Rating: 4/5
Would you recommend: Would marry it.

Charlotte’s thoughts…

Reader, I Married Me was the ultimate nostalgic read, feeling to me like a cross between the Confessions of a Shopaholic series I loved in my teens, with the humour and wit of Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. It felt really novel reading a book actually set in Brighton and being able to imagine the scenes coming to life in the place Team Zoella call home, so I’d really recommend it to any Brightonians who are all about celebrating the charm and quirks of this wonderful city! At times I feel like the writing style was a little young and again something I would have loved in my teens, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing and in fact made for an easy read I think would be great poolside on your summer holiday.

I loved watching Chloe’s journey and her personal growth throughout, and know her progress from heartbreak to healing is one so many will resonate with and enjoy celebrating alongside her! The book had it’s fair share of warm, likeable characters as well as some love-to-hate folks you quite fancy shoving off the pier, but overall it was a lovely tale of changing perspectives, learning from life’s hardest lessons and celebrating the joy that is loving YOU. I’m taking notes from Chloe (and Sophie!) and will think of her self-wedding every time I pass the bandstand.

Rating: 4/5
Would you recommend? Yes! Perfect summer beach read.

Danielle’s thoughts…

Normally when you think of ‘self-love’ books your mind heads straight to non-fiction rubbish with lots of homework and positive vibes. But Sophie manages to convey the importance of this topic so well through her story and the whole thing left me smiling from ear to ear. As Charlotte mentions, this is the perfect sun-soaked summer read when you just want to be entertained by easy prose, fun characters, and a lovely message. The Brighton setting was specific and I could feel myself navigating the specific streets through the book albeit with a rose-tinted Hollywood lense!

I think truly loving yourself is one of the most important things you can do in life, why shouldn’t we appreciate ourselves as much as we do our friends and family? I hate the narrative that you always have to be looking for a partner if you’re single and the pedestal relationships get put on over chilling by yourself. I hate that life (holidays, food shopping, house ownership etc) is easier as a two and think we should normalise people putting themself first, Chloe’s desire to achieve this is super admirable and I like to think I’d be inspired to do the same if I was single. It felt modern and fresh and makes favourites like Bridget Jones feel a little outdated. If you’re struggling with self-confidence, unlucky in love or even if you’re planning a wedding I think many would really enjoy this read.

Rating: 3.5/5
Would you recommend: For anyone after a beach read this summer!

Darcey’s thoughts…

I’ll admit from the offset that I was unsure when I started reading Reader, I Married Me, I wasn’t convinced I was going to get into the book and usually when this happens I find it hard to continue on! However, I found myself starting to really enjoy the sentiment behind the book of self-love. Although marrying yourself is not the norm, I think it goes way beyond that and reminds not only single women but everyone that actually happiness does start with yourself. I also do really enjoy a chic-flick, rom-com style book and film, so that aspect was nice as it brings a funny and light-hearted aspect to the reading.

I think a lot of women especially, but to be honest anyone who is dating in modern times, can relate to Chloe’s relationship failures and especially online dating (hands up if you’ve been personally victimised by Tinder). Although I’m not sure I would marry myself quite yet, I do think there is a LOT to be said about learning who you are as a person and dedicating more time to that. We do live in a society that seeks happiness from other outlets, but we spend 24/7 with our body and mind, so how can we be happy if we don’t love ourselves?!

Would definitely recommend this book for anyone after a light-hearted but also thought-provoking read, it’s absolutely made me think more about how I can prioritise myself more.

Rating: 4/5
Would you recommend?: Yes!

Since her first post back in April 2020, Slime Artist Gabriella Anouk has swiftly become a TikTok sensation, amassing 400K+ followers and millions of views on the video-based social media platform. 

At 27 years old, she is one of the first and most influential young British artists to have rocketed to fame on the app after sharing her artistic journey and unique behind-the-scenes process. 

From slime drenched peaches to artichokes and avocados, Gabriella adds a sensual new twist to some of life’s most ordinary objects, creating fascinating and meticulously hand-drawn art, some of which take her over 100 hours to complete.  

Gabriella has since consolidated a career as a self-made artist and businesswoman, demonstrating how bringing fine art to a platform such as TikTok can help engage young audiences with fine art techniques and showcase a new empowered model of producing, sharing and owning artwork. 

Having recently launched her first hyperrealism ‘Slime Series’ – a seven-piece collection of her hand-drawn works, we caught up with her to find out more about the fascinating world of slime. You simply won’t believe it’s not paint. 

On a scale of HB to Prisma, how is 2022 treating you so far, ha!?

Love the way you worded this! 2022 has been Caran D’ache level so far! It has been incredible. I’m still buzzing from the launch party of The Slime Series last month, and have just released these on my website too, so it’s been a very busy and exciting start to the year!

A slime artist sounds like the coolest job title in the world. The idea first came to you in lockdown, tell us about how you got into it and why TikTok felt like the perfect platform to share your work with the world?

It was around this time last year when I started to feel dissatisfied with my art practice and felt like I needed a change. So I started to experiment with dipping my household objects in paint and dripping them in slime, photographing them hundreds of times and then drawing them. I shared it all on TikTok. TikTok to me is an exciting ‘candid’ style video based platform in which I can openly share my artworks without overcomplicating things. Because of lockdown, it was my only real connection to the outside world. So I started to share my entire process, from start to finish and people seemed to really engage with it, more than I had ever experienced on platforms like Instagram and Facebook before. It opened up a whole new world for me.

What is it about working with slime specifically that inspires you?

The texture – I love how shiny and synthetic it is! I also like slime because of the way it can entirely change, manipulate and turn an average, everyday object into something unique and sculpture-like. It’s different every time you use it and that uncertainty is so appealing to me. I started off using paint, dripping and submerging objects in it. However, I found paint to be quite limiting because once you dip something in paint you can’t reverse it. Slime was appealing to me because of how versatile it is. You can drip it onto an object, peel it off, and repeat as many times as you like. Another reason I use slime is because it is so unnatural. It has been such a unique material to work with.

Congratulations on your Slime Series exhibition! You’ve achieved so much in such a short space of time. What’s been your biggest learning so far both on a personal and professional /business level? 

Thank you! My biggest learning so far would probably be to not be so afraid of trying something new. Before The Slime Series I was mainly working on commission based pieces and lost my own ‘artistic voice’. The Slime Series was so different and scary to me but I’m so glad I went for it. From a business level my main learning so far is to surround yourself with people you 100% trust and together you can make great things happen.

How instrumental has TikTok been for giving you a platform to showcase your work and reach new audiences? 

Hugely. TikTok in particular has a very high engagement rate. Some of my videos have upwards of 30,000 comments with one video reaching over 17 million views. This kind of engagement is incredible and the feedback is hugely encouraging for me and has become a driving force in my practice sparking my creativity in unusual ways. Quid pro quo!

Disruption, chaos, attraction, revulsion and physicality are important themes throughout your work, can you tell us more about that and the essence of your hyperrealism works? 

As my drawings are so controlled and take a really long time, it’s important to me that the actual subject I’m drawing is disrupted in some sort of way. The juxtaposition of a beautiful, natural piece of fruit against synthetic, almost vulgar, shiny slime is so attractive and interesting. I take a lot of inspiration from Dali’s work and his absurdism. I find it fascinating. I’ve always loved his absurd and surreal style, creating bizarre images of the mundane and everyday naturally gives these paradoxes. I also love to explore the role of light and reflection on the subject, to capture that subtle interaction of light on the surface is so vital in creating a piece which looks hyperrealistic.

Tough question but out of the seven-piece work in progress Slime Series, do you have a favourite child…

Actually, that’s a super easy one for me! It’s the first piece in the series Avocado Dali. It kind of saved me from a bit of a dark place and was the catalyst to The Slime Series. I owe that piece so much and I don’t think I’ll ever let it go.

Some of your projects take 100+ hours, how do your hands handle it? I think I got a blister from writing in pencil for an hour once. 

Haha, I do get blisters but my fingers have sort of morphed and hardened in certain places so blisters don’t happen too often but I do get this weird cramp all up my forearm and my leaning elbow is in a bad way at the moment! 

What’s the longest you’ve ever spent on anyone drawing? 

200 hours. Pomegranate Amour, the last drawing in the Slime Series.. I also had COVID half way through it so decided to quarantine for the ten days in my studio and draw. Which worked out quite well! That’s a pretty special piece to me. 

Emojis are often a point of reference for your drawing. If you could create an emoji, what would it be? 

A pomegranate!! Why there isn’t one already I don’t know. It’s such a cool fruit and has so much symbolism about love. 

You often ask your followers what they’d like to see you dipping in slime next, what’s your most popular request? 

Ooh tough one!! Bananas were a very popular request so I did that but some of my favourite ones have been carrot, beetroot and cherries. I think if I ever were to revisit the Slime Series I’d draw one of those three. 

Talk us through your creative process and technique – you create art that looks like slime using pencils and only pencils? Make it make sense haha, I’m mind blown! 

I like working three dimensional to start with, really getting to know my subject from all angles, photographing and filming the process as I go. And then I use colouring pencils, no solvent or blending tools to draw it. I use a technique in which I layer pencil colour on top of pencil colour very gently until it builds up a rich colour. It’s very time consuming but a very satisfying process. I think I like the challenge of creating something using one tool – or I just like to make life difficult for myself.. who knows! 

Pink crops up in your work a fair amount. Do you have a favourite colour to work with and why? 

Good eye, yes pink is my favourite colour. It just speaks to me and I’m so drawn to it (pardon the pun!). It’s a very sexy yet sensual and sweet colour. Be prepared for more pink in the next series, that’s all I’m saying! 

What’s on your vision board for 2022, what’s next for you? 

Showcase the Slime Series in different parts of the world. Work on a couple of exciting commissions, NFTs and of course start my next series! 

What’s your best advice for any aspiring artists out there?

Go for it and don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are the best way you will ever learn to master a new craft. I wish I had learnt that sooner.

If you were to guess, just how many pencil shavings are in your office at the end of a working day? 

Ooooh.. this is tough!! My pencil sharpener turns the shavings into dust so I would say maybe a glass full of pencil shaving dust?!

One thing everyone assumes about you is…

I really have no idea! But one thing people usually assume of my pieces is that they were created using paint. 

Who inspires you?

This changes all the time but for The Slime Series, Dali was a huge inspiration. 

Is artist’s block a thing? What do you do on those days when you’re just not feeling creatively inspired to pick up your pencils?

Artist block is definitely a thing, yes! I struggled with it quite badly just before starting The Slime Series.. My best advice for this is 1. to go ahead and create some really ugly art. Set out to make the ugliest drawing you’ve ever drawn. It helps get rid of the negative energy and frees up space for fresh new art.. I hope that makes sense. 2. Another way to get rid of artist’s block is to do something out of your comfort zone. For example, if you’re a colouring pencil artist, try using paint or charcoal and just go crazy with it. That usually helps me! 3. And lastly, take yourself out of ‘your space’, go for a walk, go to the kitchen and bake or see your friends. Just do something entirely different and ‘non-art-related’.

Describe your work in 3 words. Go!

 Colourful, sensual, risky!

Which celebrity home would you most like to see your artwork hanging in and why?

I love Anthony Hopkins. I think I would just die if he even saw my work. Although, I think Peachy should probably belong to Kim Kardashian… 

And finally, what’s been the proudest moment of your career so far?

Probably The Slime Series Exhibition that just happened in London… That was epic. 

For more information on Gabriella and The Slime Series, visit her website here.

Voice notes are the romantic correspondence of our generation, sealed with a loving mumble or simply signed off with an awkward “so yeah, not sure if that made any sense but…” because no one who’s ever started a voice note truly knows how to end one. The etiquette is fuzzy and human and therein lies the charm. 

They have become the holy grail of communication amongst friends, both those who still share the first letters of your postcode and those who don’t. These chatty bursts of familiarity,  unpolished ramblings, streams of consciousness and every shade of life from the softest light to the deepest hue of heartbreak, serve as a reminder that we’re connected, even when we feel like we’re adrift. 

It all lives here in waves of green and white; the sound of sisterhood.

You could be folding laundry, tidying your flat, putting cream on your cracked nipples or sobbing over your broken marriage, and voice notes will accompany you through all of it – from the mundane to the messy – both an easy-listening playlist of female greats and a sacred space to hear yourself out, the likes of which phone calls and text messages simply can’t compete with. 

A quick breathy catch-up. Being vulnerable on your terms. Somewhere for your heart to spill over. Wild feelings. Untamed. Unedited. Unafraid. Walls come down. How did the job interview go? I’ve been thinking. Podcast incoming. Choosing when to listen. Responding in your own time. Familiar voices you love. Honesty. No pressure. Just walking up a hill. Just waiting for a doctor’s appointment. Too rambly? Bin it. Extracts of emotion. A gentle way to check-in. Warmth. I think I’m gonna leave him. How are you actually feeling? It’s fucking freezing today. This is hard. Heartache. I’m still not pregnant. I’m sitting in my car waiting to go to the gym. That’s the first time I’ve actually said it out loud. I cried for a week. I hope you’ve put me on double time (X2). Omg, you need to read this book. It’s going really well actually. My neighbours kept me up shagging last night. It would be lovely to see you. I had a moment last week when I thought I can’t do this. This week’s been a lot. I’ve got the wedding blues. What are you wearing? Just to say. Confession time. I’m currently cleaning bath toys, this is what my life has come to. Sound bites of love. We don’t talk about Bruno. Honestly, I’m fine. I thought we could go for a roast. Let me know. Just quickly. I was listening to a podcast the other day and thought of you. It’s so nice to hear your voice. You’re enough. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I feel like a failure. Hangovers and food comas. I can update you all tomorrow. A little act of connection. I understand. When are we walking next? I forgot to tell you. How is your heart doing? Weekend debriefs and tragic dates. Infectious laughter. You did the right thing. Shall we book Mexico this week? Happy Wednesday. You bloody enjoy that cheese toasty and get back to me later. Faceless freedom. Did he find your clitoris in the end? Happiness and healing in green and white. I saw this TikTok the other day. Play button. Pause button. Really listening. Cooking dinner. I’m running late. Belly laughs. So was it an STI? Pouring wine. I’ll be honest. A mixed tape of emotions. Small talk. Big feelings. Snapshots of sisterhood. Good luck you’ll smash it. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. A moment of reckoning. Send me your new address pls. It’s so shit. Soothing. No spoilers. Have you done today’s Wordle? What did the results say? I just need to vent for a minute. Do we book a bottomless brunch? You’ll never guess what. Comfort. I can hear your vulnerability. Have a good day. I have a theory. A reminder that you’re not alone. Drama. Here it goes. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Thanks for listening. I just heard myself. Like being together, even when we’re not. Fill us in. Just checking in with you. Notes to nourish. Can we talk about Married At First Sight Australia. Storytime. This is hard for me to say. Gtg, I’ve got my smear. Sorry, my voice is all croaky, this is the first time I’ve had to use it all day. It’s good to talk. This really is a fucking podcast now. The limit does not exist. Something really embarrassing just happened. That must be hard. Grateful for you. 

⌃ words that water women. 

• Lap up the joys of the best national holiday of the year (obvs Pancake Day) on the 1st of the month and know that it will sadly be all downhill from here.  
• Decide one day isn’t enough and book a trip to Brighton purely to try the crème de la crème of pancake destinations courtesy of our Best Pancakes in Brighton & Hove article.

• Marvel at how light it is at 5pm on a daily basis and continue to bore your colleagues by saying it aloud at every opportunity. 
• Continually put off fixing the dodgy fence panel that Eunice had her way with. Sorry, neighbour.
• Wear only corsets, puff sleeves and scooped necklines in celebration of Bridgerton season 2 finally hitting screens, whilst also mourning the loss of the Duke. Gone but never forgotten.  
• Wonder why everyone and their mum is in Mexico and check Airbnb daily in the hopes of grabbing a bargain.

• Enjoy dramatically tossing a bag of Mini Eggs into your basket every time you have to go to the shops, making this whole ‘adulting’ thing marginally less painful. 
• Ensure there is a fresh bunch of tulips in the house at all times. It’s called self-care, look it up.
• Get a bit teary scrolling your feed on 8th March for International Women’s Day and feel an overwhelming sense of solidarity with your sisters from others misters.

• Spend your weekends Marie Kondo-ing the sh*t out of your place because Spring means that lingering pile of recycling has gotta go, stat.
• Give up for Lent. That’s it, that’s the tweet.
• While away an afternoon devouring Breathless by Amy McCulloch- our March book club pick FYI- and realise a good book is sometimes all the company you need.
• Rewatch *that* Love is Blind season finale before finding all the contestants on Instagram and becoming deeply invested in who follows who back. Side eye emojis galore.

• Revisit our 12 Spa Breaks That Won’t Break the Bank post and wonder why your New Year’s Resolution wasn’t ticking off one per month in 2022. Weekend staycay anyone?
• Shudder every time you open Tinder because Simon Leviev is still haunting your nightmares. 
• Realise it’s officially been 2 years since lockdown numero uno and admit that banana bread hasn’t hit the same since.
• Take the mumma figure in your life out for a well deserved afternoon tea for Mother’s Day and argue about whose order of jam and cream is bible. 

• Add face gems to your Amazon order because the Euphoria era isn’t over until we say it is.
• Tick off all the National Trust properties in your area and exclaim at how bloomin’ lovely the U.K is in Spring.
• Wonder on a daily basis if today is the day you achieve your Wordle personal best and if you can add ‘excellent problem solver’ to your CV because of it.