Heartwarming and heartbreaking. Uplifting and destructive. Pure love and pure frustration. Being a parent is perhaps one of life’s biggest challenges. From birth to their university graduation, there isn’t a day that goes by when you aren’t learning something new about them, yourself and what it means to love unconditionally. But despite the highs that come from walking the path of motherhood, there are without a doubt unpredictable bumps in the road too that may see you doubting it all.
If there’s one common thread in the world of parenthood though, it’s that so many of these experiences- be it the 3am wobbles or first day of school scaries- are truly universal. But don’t just take our word for it. We spoke to 50 women about their experiences of being a mama (read: actual superhero) and the biggest lessons they discovered along the way, and you might just find yourself nodding along to every single one…
- Learn to accept the bad days and not to dwell on them. Every mum has them.
- You will have to say goodbye to your former self for a while.
- It’s the loneliest job in the world (sometimes).
- It’s so important to admit to errors when talking to your child.
- Make every moment count- my son died last year and I’m sitting now with my living daughter in my arms.
- There’s no room for spontaneity anymore.
- It might not come as naturally as you imagined, and that’s okay. Seek help, learn as you go.
- Lower your expectations.
- The decisions you feel best about are made with your instincts. No one knows your baby like you.
- Everyone is just doing their best.
- You won’t necessarily be the mother you imagined, and that’s okay.
- Everything isn’t going to be perfect, no matter how many books you read.
- You will never again be the centre of your whole universe.
- Stop romanticising motherhood. I’m not perfect and my baby isn’t either.
- All cliches are true.
- You don’t lose yourself, you blossom into someone else- a mother.
- Appreciate the people who show up for you.
- You will probably feel like you’re getting ill every single day as your standard.
- Babies aren’t robots and neither are mamas- go with your instinct and try to relax.
- They teach you far more than you will ever teach them.
- There’s no such thing as a perfect mother, trying to be one is no good for anyone.
- Always follow your instinct and ignore the noise.
- You will grow more than you ever imagined possible. Enjoy it.
- No one tells you how hard it is on the dads.
- There’s so much to love in all the small, intimate moments.
- Asking for help is never a sign of failure. It really does take a village.
- Your emotional and physical wellbeing is one of the most important factors in how you parent, how you engage, how you react to difficulties and how present you are in motherhood. It is exhausting, all consuming, beautiful and chaotic and it’s so important to fill your self-care cup up too. Also peace over perfection, always!
- It’s not a choice between taking care of only your child or only yourself- you deserve care too.
- Take things an hour at a time.
- A mother’s strength is beyond this world.
- Don’t forget to adjust the patience scale for your partner, family and baby.
- That for so many, the journey to becoming a mother is so difficult.
- My baby is due soon and I’ve already learnt to do what’s best for me and feels right.
- Breastfeeding is great but the feeling of your body not being your own any more can be tough and so hard to explain until you’re in that situation.
- That a bit of a messy house isn’t a bad thing.
- Time goes past too quickly to worry about the small things. Play with them and be in the moment as much as possible!
- It’s okay not to know everything.
- Some friendships won’t survive the journey into motherhood.
- I have to let go of the things I can’t control.
- I am not as patient as I thought, and mum guilt sucks.
- There’s no love like it.
- Babies do things at their own speed, don’t worry if yours isn’t at the same stage as others.
- Take it one step at a time and accept that everyone makes ‘mistakes’.
- Everything is a phase.
- Give them space.
- Praise is much more effective than punishment.
- There’s no place for perfectionism in parenting.
- The ability to be flexible is a super power!
- True love finally makes sense.
- Women are *the* sh*t. Period.
