TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 10, 2021

Colourful Knits and Crochet Pieces To Brighten Up Your Summer Wardrobe

The warm weather is now upon us and with that comes fun and fresh trends that may feel a little 'out there', but crochet is here to stay for summer '21 and we're here to tell you it's worth your time...

Okay hear us out. When you think of crochet, the image that springs to mind might be of a holey, ill fitting piece that your grandma proudly created but has been sat at the back of your wardrobe for 3 plus years, but it doesn’t have to be this way! The warm weather is now upon us and with that comes fun and fresh trends that may feel a little ‘out there’, but crochet is here to stay for summer ’21 and we’re here to tell you it’s worth your time…

Festivals and travel might be off the cards or still feel totally foreign this year, but nothing screams Coachella more than a crochet co-ord, and regardless of our attendance to said coveted festival you best believe our summer outfits will be on par with the Extraness of the stateside event. 

Crochet is far from dowdy, and the likes of Kylie Jenner are proving so, recently seen rocking a Natalia Fedner knit dress on a tropical getaway that screamed effortless sex appeal and va va voom. The boho style is perfect teamed with messy, undone hair, oversized earrings and paired back accessories, letting your outfit do all the talking at whichever social occasions you’re flitting between during this season of fun, fun, fun. 

Sweater vests took Instagram by storm over the winter and crochet feels like the warm weather extension of this, allowing you to layer thin knits and playful designs for some extra warmth and style points whilst looking trés cool doing so.

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TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 9, 2021

We Spoke to 5 People About Coming Off the Pill

Whether you’re trying to conceive or curious to reconnect with your natural cycle again to find out what you’re like without synthetic hormones, keep reading to see what to expect when you come off the pill.

Many people start taking birth control in their teens and continue consistently without a break for a decade or more, but what happens to your body when you stop taking it, particularly after a long stretch of time?

When it comes to quitting birth control, there is a barrage of information available out there detailing the bad and the ugly, from break outs to severe mood swings, tender breasts and irregular or non-existent menstrual cycles. Despite the slew of possible side effects, many people transition off the pill without any problem whatsoever. Everyone’s body is different and there are certainly just as many positive experiences as there are challenging ones.

If you’re thinking about giving birth control the boot but you’re not sure what living pill-free life will be like, these personal and varied experiences will help you make the decision that’s right for you, your mind and your body.

Whether you’re trying to conceive or curious to reconnect with your natural cycle again to find out what you’re like without synthetic hormones, keep reading to see what to expect when you come off the pill.

Darcey

How long had you previously been on the pill?

So I started my period fairly late at the age of 15, just before I turned 16 and was put on the pill pretty quickly due to having heavy periods. I stayed on the pill from the age of 16 to 21, so around 5-6 years.

What was your experience of being on the pill?

I loved being on the pill when I first started it, I think mainly because for some weird reason it was considered cool to be on it at my school? I think it made us feel like an adult being on a form of contraception and having control over our periods. I was started on the bog-standard ‘Microgynon’ but ended up stopping this due to headaches.

It was only when I reached 21 and started exploring my anxiety more in depth did I see the link between my anxiety and the contraceptive pill.Darcey

I think I have been on around 4 different pills in those 5-6 years, I can’t even remember the name of them all. I never remember having any side effects when I first started the pill (apart from the headaches), however as I grew older I started to see a real distinct link between the contraceptive pill and my anxiety. At the age of 16 I had a really bad period of anxiety, so bad I couldn’t go to college without bursting into tears for the majority of my second term in first year. It was only when I reached 21 and started exploring my anxiety more in depth did I see the link between my anxiety and the contraceptive pill.

Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?

Absolutely not, not a single doctor sat down with me and explained any side effects or how it could effect my mental health. Looking back now I’m quite shocked the doctor put me on the pill in the first place. I had maybe had a max of 4 natural periods before complaining about the heaviness of them to a doctor to be whacked on the pill. They were super heavy, but I feel my body didn’t even have the time to regulate itself. I wasn’t sexually active either at that time, so they just put me on the pill in order to stop the heavy periods. But I was 16 and naive to the idea, if a doctor tells you to do something at that age, you’ll do it. I wish someone had maybe taken the time to explain different forms of contraception at least to me, or told me to wait a few months before making any decisions.

What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?

I felt really out of tune with my own body and like I was just pumping it with synthetic hormones without knowing exactly what they were disrupting.Darcey

I decided to stop taking the pill due to anxiety-like previously mentioned. I felt like I had discovered a real link between the pill and my anxiety, and so I went to a doctor before stopping to ask the safest way to do this and to discuss if there was any link. This doctor agreed with me that they think the contraceptive pill could have been the trigger or at least made my anxiety worse those last 5-6 years. I also decided to stop taking the pill because I wasn’t sexually active at that moment in time, I also had never properly experienced a natural cycle for me. I felt really out of tune with my own body and like I was just pumping it with synthetic hormones without knowing exactly what they were disrupting.

Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?

I wasn’t nervous at all actually, maybe naively like when I started the pill. I just thought I’d stop the pill and a month later I’d get my period and my body would be back to it’s pre-pill state. Boy I was wrong! I also think only being on it for 5-6 years made me think it wouldn’t be so bad coming off of it, as I know some people spend like 10-15 years on it before stopping.

What mental and physical side effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?

When I first came off of it I felt fine for the first couple of weeks. However then I started to get extremely achy and tender boobs, I was exhausted for weeks too like my body was really struggling to adjust to making hormones again. I also had the worst night-sweats for weeks, like I was pre-menopausal, apparently this happens when you have a sudden drop in estrogen in the body.

Apparently, post-pill acne is very common, it has only just started to calm down for me now.Darcey

I also had pretty bad mood swings for a while, I felt quite out of control of my own body, but after a couple of months it did completely settle. My worst side effect was probably acne. Although I don’t think acne in any way shape or form is bad, we all get spots and who bloody cares really, I had always had very clear skin so too suddenly be dealing with acne did knock my confidence for a while. Apparently, post-pill acne is very common, it has only just started to calm down for me now, I only really get pimples now when I am due on. But it has caused a bit of scarring and pigmentation to my face, which is totally fine but still something that took me some time to get my head around.

Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?

Mine did return straight away, however it wasn’t my ‘normal cycle’, if I’m honest I don’t think it settled until recently, after being off the pill for a year and a half. My first period pre-pill was really light and they stayed that way for quite a few months. It was only after about 6 months did they become increasingly heavier and that I noticed more signs of PMS etc. Although they have been very consistent, cycle length being 28-30 days and period length 4-5 days throughout.

Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?

Absolutely, I can recognise PMS and symptoms of ovulation. Although I can’t say this is all down to me, I use the Flo app which has really helped me discover a lot about my period and how it affects me monthly. My anxiety has really quite improved, I also have been working on it too so I can’t say fundamentally it has been the only factor to improved mental health, but my mind feels clearer. I also don’t have raging mood swings anymore, I realised the pill made me super paranoid about social situations etc. My paranoia completely disappeared once stopping the pill, it’s quite scary to think this small little pill can affect someone so much!

Knowing my body is doing what it’s meant to be doing I find quite comforting.Darcey

Coming off of the pill made me realise that I can feel when I’m ovulating which I found fascinating! I don’t get cramps while on my period, but every month when I’m ovulating I get a very minor pain in my abdomen which lasts a few hours then disappears. I also enjoy having my monthly period too, not so much when the actual period comes around ha! But knowing my body is doing what it’s meant to be doing I find quite comforting, it is amazing what the body can do!

Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?

Yes I have learnt so much! Using the Flo app like I said previously has really helped me learn about my cycle etc. Ovulating is the top one and being able to feel when this process has begun, also learning that our discharge changes when we ovulate, who would have known! I also now know a week before my period I am extremely irritated… basically anything and everything annoys me, but I have found CBD oil to help with this funk I’m in and calm me a bit.

I also get terrible tension headaches before and after my period, but not during. Cravings too, my body needs so much food when it’s menstruating, so I give it what it needs (usually chocolate)! I’m exhausted too for the first two days of my period, it does take it out of me but not to the point where I can’t get on with daily tasks. But all of these things were masked by the pill, but I am happy now that I know how my cycle effects me mentally and psychically and can prepare myself for it.

What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?

Mental clarity for sure and feeling way more in-tune with my own body. It feels really good to know so much about my own cycle now and to be able to see all the ways it affects me monthly.

Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?

I think speaking with your GP first is important and just letting them know you are wanting to stop. Also to just be openminded and see how you feel after a good few months of being off the pill, you might find you dislike not being on any form of contraception and so you can then look at other forms like IUD’s etc. Also prepare yourself for side effects, especially ones like tender breasts and acne which I have seen from my own research are pretty common. But also don’t let the side effects put you off as they are for the most part short lived and manageable from my own experience!

Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?

I actually haven’t attempted going on any other form of birth control since stopping the pill! Due to the pandemic, I haven’t been sexually active so haven’t seen any point of seeking out any forms of contraception. I know for a fact I will never be taking any form of contraception that has synthetic hormones again though.

If I decided I didn’t want to go on any form of contraception, any future sexual partners should absolutely respect that decision and wear a condom.Darcey

The two forms which I have been looking into to potentially start this year are natural cycles where you take your temperature every morning and it basically tells you how fertile you are, or to have the copper IUD fitted (although this does scare me a bit!). But also very much in the mind that if I decided I didn’t want to go on any form of contraception, any future sexual partners should absolutely respect that decision and wear a condom. It’s not all up to women or any person with a womb to take contraception that messes with their body just so someone doesn’t have to wrap up, it’s 2021, we are over that!

One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…

To be honest prepare yourself for some unpleasant side effects, but also prepare yourself for actually a pretty life-changing experience too! I feel so much better after stopping hormonal birth control, I read so many horror stories before coming off the pill but I think if I had read more positive ones I would have been more comforted by this while experiencing the ups and downs of coming off the pill.

Lareese

How long had you previously been on the pill?

I was on the pill consistently from the age of 15 with no break at all. I initially went on it to help regulate my periods and never came off it. Next thing I knew, I’d be taking it for nearly 15 years!

What was your experience of being on the pill?

I was on the oldest (and cheapest) pill ‘Microgynon’. It’s like the textbook pill they put you on if you have no major health concerns or history of blood clots in your family. I know a lot of people that didn’t get on with it at all, but I never had an issue with it. Aside from a few migraines here and there which I put down to period symptoms because I always had them just before I was due on. I first went on the pill during my teenage years but I don’t remember having any real side effects aside from slight weight gain.

Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?

I don’t recall ever having an in-depth conversation about the long-term health effects of taking the pill with my GP. When you’re on the pill, you have a yearly review to check your blood pressure, weight etc (always horrifying having to be weighed) and I remember posing a question about being on it for so long without a break and concerns around fertility but this was always met with, ‘you should be fine’. Should never fills you with confidence, does it?!

I do think at the age of 15, I wasn’t really fully aware of what I was putting into my body.Lareese

Despite going to the GP with my mum, I do think at the age of 15, I wasn’t really fully aware of what I was putting into my body and the potential side effects, so looking back, I can’t say it was a fully informed choice. There is a huge disparity in sex education full stop when it comes to female pleasure and birth control is no different. It’s seen as just another thing we have to do, alas going on it at 15 was a non-event. Everyone was doing it. I’m not anti-pill by any means, it did the job and it worked for me for a long time however, I do think more can be done to ensure young girls are armed with all the knowledge before they start taking it, instead of half the story.

What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?

I think talking about birth control and periods has been normalised so much more now than when I first went on contraception and that had a huge influence on my decision to ditch the pill. I just thought, hang on, I’m popping this thing mindlessly every day, shoving my body full of synthetic hormones and I don’t feel like I’m connected to my body at all. I couldn’t remember what my natural period was like or how I felt throughout my cycle so for me, it was a conscious decision to reconnect with my body. The pill was very convenient, my period was like clockwork and it became all too easy to rely on it but I finally came off in January 2020 and I haven’t looked back. It was the best decision.

Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?

Having been on the pill for such a long period of time, I was quite nervous about coming off it and what side effects I would experience. I fully prepared myself to have a terrible time. I was concerned my period would pretty much ghost me for a year or that my skin would just reject pill-free living or something but actually, it was nothing like the horror stories you go searching for on Google. I was pleasantly surprised.

What mental and physical side effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?

I was really fortunate actually, apart from having achy tender boobs for about two weeks I didn’t have any issues at all.

Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?

I think I may be a bit of an anomaly but mine came straight back the first month and they have been regular (and slightly lighter & shorter) ever since.

Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?

I have loved learning to get to know my natural cycle; there’s a real power in listening to your body and reading the signs.Lareese

YES. Hell Yes. Coming off the pill has not only given me mental clarity, it’s also allowed me to connect with the inner workings of my body, not just when I bleed but throughout my entire cycle. I’m way more in tune with my body now, I can even tell when I’m ovulating because I can feel a popping sensation and a very light cramping in my lower abdomen. It’s crazy how much the pill kind of deprives you of that intuition. I have loved learning to get to know my natural cycle; there’s a real power in listening to your body and reading the signs.

Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?

As mentioned above, knowing when I’m ovulating was pretty mind blowing because you don’t ovulate on the pill so it was wild that I could physically sense the changes around two weeks into my cycle. I also tend to get a nice bit of period bloat a good 5-6 days before I come on which never happened before, so I’d say I’m just generally more mindful of what my body is doing all through my cycle really and how that affects my mood, productivity levels and my capacity to be sociable. I don’t think I realised quite how much our cycle affects every aspect of our physical and mental health before. It’s like the master key to everything.

What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?

I no longer get those dreaded period migraines each monthLareese

For me, it was understanding my body better. I knew nothing about my cycle before because I didn’t have to. I didn’t need to listen to my body because I knew within a few days of gobbling up another shiny green packet, I could expect my period to arrive (always a Friday) and that was that. I didn’t give it a second thought. Now I use cycle tracking and try to note down how I’m feeling each day so I can make sense of my hormones. I don’t know if it’s linked necessarily, but I no longer get those dreaded period migraines each month, either.

Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?

Have an open mind. Just go with the f-l-o-w and if it’s not for you, you can look at other options that do work for you. Everybody is different and what was a horrendous experience for one person, may not be the case for you. Choice is a wonderful thing and I think whatever you choose to do with your body, own it and find power in that. It’s good to be aware of the side effects and to be extra kind to yourself during the first few months of coming off it but you don’t necessarily have to prepare yourself for the worst either.

Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?

I’m done with the mentality that assumes the women have got it covered. Time for them to do their bit I say.Lareese

Since I came off the pill to rediscover my natural cycle, I haven’t even thought about going back on any form of birth control, yet. It’s just condoms all the way for now bebe. The very least my LT boyfriend can do after I’ve pumped my body full of hormones for years is wrap up, ya know? I’m done with the mentality that assumes the women have got it covered. Time for them to do their bit I say.

One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…

A positive experience! They do happen – the internet just doesn’t always shout about them.

Louise

How long had you previously been on the pill?

 I was on the pill for just shy of a year, but most certainly a year too long. 

What was your experience of being on the pill?

In one word: horrific. It made me feel so low all of the time and extremely hormonal. I felt like a whole different person the whole time I was on it, it was absolute hell. 

Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?

(TW- suicide) Not at all! I knew there were side effects of course, but no one told me the full extent of it. I knew it could make you hormonal, the weight changes, the messing up your periods or whatever, but no one told me that it could make you suicidal. I remember in GCSE biology we had to learn about different forms of contraception, but even then, it was from a scientific point of view.

I spent so long thinking I had literally gone completely crazy.Louise

I spent so long thinking I had literally gone completely crazy, all because of this tiny pill I had to take once a day. I wish someone had explained to me that what I was feeling wasn’t me being ‘crazy,’ I wasn’t losing my mind, I was simply being medicated…

What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?

I needed my life back. At the time, I was year 12 in college. I was supposed to be having some of the best time of my life, but my mental health was at an all time low because of the pill. My attendance was at 43%, I had no work completed, I was struggling to even get out of bed in the morning. Everything was such a struggle and I lost who I was because of it. I feel like that is a time I will never, ever get back, all because of a medication that no one really educated me about. 

Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?

I couldn’t really afford to buy latex-free condoms regularly.Louise

I was in a relationship at the time, and I really didn’t want to get pregnant. Being allergic to latex, condoms are harder to buy & more expensive for me, while the pill was free. I couldn’t really afford to buy latex-free condoms regularly, and my ex sure as hell was not helping. I was absolutely terrified of the chance of getting pregnant, but the pros of coming off the pill dramatically outweighed the cons. 

What mental and physical side effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?

Honestly, everything improved. I felt like for the first time in a very long time, I was me again. I am still absolutely terrified almost 2 years on of going on any form of hormonal contraception ever again, but I know that I will have to as I’m not planning on having children for a very long time. My energy was back, my happiness was back, my life was back. It was honestly amazing. 

Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?

I’ve always been quite irregular, but with a mix of coming off of the pill & a whole lot of stress, I would go months without a period, then get it. It’s certainly settling itself down now, despite the fact I’ve had my period for almost 10 years now. The pill most certainly put a speed bump in the road but it’s finally settling. 

Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?

I look at photos where I had lost so much weight from always being so depressed and anxiousLouise

Yes yes yes! I don’t recognise the girl I was before. I look at photos where I had lost so much weight from always being so depressed and anxious; not leaving my bed unless I had to be sick (from the anxiety). I had lost the sparkle behind my eyes and all of the things I had loved before I no longer cared about one bit. I didn’t realise how damaging it was to me & my life until I came off of it and finally felt like a human again. 

Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?

I am not as sad as I thought I was. I suffered from medication-induced psychosis for the majority of the time I was on the pill, where I would hear voices & see things out of the corner of my eye. The room would spin and wiggle around- it was genuinely such a terrifying experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. No one deserves to feel like that. I also struggled quite a lot with my sex drive due to the pill and found it really put a dampener on it. It’s quite hard to feel sexual when you feel so so sad. 

What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?

Everything was so dark for so long & I’m so grateful that it’s getting lighter again now.Louise

Getting my life back! I’m now about to finish college, my attendance is almost 100% (excluding the time I skipped a class to go get boba- sorry!) and I have an amazing group of friends who make me feel loved and appreciated and grateful to be alive. Everything was so dark for so long & I’m so grateful that it’s getting lighter again now. 

Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?

 If it works for you, stick with it! I have a few friends who are on the same pill as I was and have absolutely no issues whatsoever. If you’re constantly feeling down and depressed while on it, it could be a good idea to speak with your GP about alternative methods of contraception. Don’t force yourself to be on a medication that isn’t for you, and remember everyone’s bodies are so different. 

Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?

I mean, due to the pandemic, abstinence has worked quite well, sadly! However, I just stick to condoms now. They might be more expensive and a bit annoying really, but it’s a lot better than being depressed and/or pregnant! 

One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…

Getting your life back, for the better. Get ready to feel grateful for every day, for the sunrise and for dusk, for birds chirping and for the starts. Get ready to fall back in love with living again! 

April

How long had you previously been on the pill?

7 years- I started the pill when I was 14 and stopped when I was 21

What was your experience of being on the pill?

My experience of being on the pill was actually really positive, I went on it to help control my acne and to make my periods more regular and lighter as that was something that caused me a lot of anxiety at school. I liked that I had control over my body and that I could even just take it back to back and have no periods at all!

Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?

As I got older I started to get more interested in contraception and did a lot of my own research.April

I went on the pill quite young and I don’t think I was fully aware at the time of all the potential side effects, as I got older I started to get more interested in contraception and did a lot of my own research. I don’t think I would have changed my mind then knowing what I know now, the benefits of the pill strongly outweighed the negative aspects of periods that I was experiencing. I think it was the advice coming off the pill that could have been more beneficial to me.

What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?

It was a decision I was forced to make rather than one I wanted to make. I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy and Cataplexy and started on a medication which interacted with the hormones in the contraceptive pill- and most other forms of hormonal birth control.

I was having thoughts at the time about starting on a different and more reliable form of contraception as I had entered a relationship and was actually starting to use the pill for contraception rather than just control of periods and acne. If I forgot to take the pill on time it would have much bigger consequences than forgetting to do so previously.
I had a copper coil fitted to replace the pill.

Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?

I was nervous about it, I had taken it for 7 years and didn’t know the me post-puberty off of the pill. I have a history of anxiety and did have some concerns about how the change in hormones would affect this. For me the pill actually helped my anxiety, rather than cause it as it does for many people so it was hard to know how coming off it may affect me.

The coil was pretty much the only one that appealed to me but I had major anxiety about the fitting and dreaded it for weeks.April

I also didn’t know what my periods were like, I had gone on the pill after 2-3 cycles, I didn’t know what my cycle length would be or how heavy they would be now that I was older. I was also nervous about what other method of contraception I could use- the coil was pretty much the only one that appealed to me but I had major anxiety about the fitting and dreaded it for weeks.

What mental and physical side-effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?

My mental health definitely got worse in the few months after stopping, I had CBT which helped me to manage my anxiety and thankfully this has now completely improved. Physically though I had a lot of different side effects some of which continue to cause issues, the main issues being pelvic pain (similar to cramps but usually located on just one side) and very long periods (at one point my cycle was 100 days long!). I went to my doctor after a couple of long cycles but was dismissed by them and told this was normal. I was actually made to feel really anxious by my doctor who blamed my issues on my history of anxiety. I felt like a time-waster.

I moved flat and changed doctors surgery and after a couple of months with the issues persisting I decided to go to my new doctors. I ended up being referred to gynaecology and endocrinology for investigations into PCOS and Endometriosis. I finally felt listened to and that it wasn’t my anxiety causing me to overthink, there was actually an issue.

Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?

My cycle was all over the place, starting back pretty normal at 30 days but each cycle got longer and longer – ending up at 100 days! This was as a result of low levels of oestrogen and not normal as my first GP has assured me.

Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?

I do, I now have the hormonal IUD to control the pain I was getting which is suspected endometriosis. But the hormonal IUD keeps hormones local to the womb. This means I still have all the other signs of the menstrual cycle- PMS is real!

Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?

Mood definitely, PMS has become a lot more obvious- there are times of the month where I am a lot more on edge and have a much shorter patience than I usually would. This has been quite hard to get under control and not let affect me, my emotions are much more of a rollercoaster than they used to be when I was on the pill.

What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?

I actually really miss the pill, if it didn’t affect my medication I would be back on it tomorrow! Moving on to the IUD has been really great though and I couldn’t recommend it to people enough. I am very forgetful so I do think the pill for contraception was a bit of a risky game for me, thankfully I don’t need to think about my IUD for another 4 and a half years which is great!

Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?

I would definitely say to be aware of the issues you could get as a result of coming off the pill, do ask your doctor if you have any concerns and if you don’t think something is right speak to a doctor.

It’s just about finding what works best for you and what is going to suit your lifestyle and requirements.April

If you are thinking of switching to a different form of birth control make sure you look at all the options available to you and speak to a doctor if you have any concerns. Unfortunately, all contraception has pros and cons, none of them are perfect, it’s just about finding what works best for you and what is going to suit your lifestyle and requirements.

Have you found another form of birth control that works for you at all?

Yes, I was on the Copper Coil and then switched to the Hormonal IUD. I love the Coil/IUD, ok the fitting of it isn’t great I am not going to lie- it was the weirdest pain I have ever felt- but once it’s in you don’t need to think about it, you can just get on with your life.

One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…

To listen to your body, you will probably notice some change (hopefully not as dramatic as mine) so just listen to your body and look out for changes to your mental and physical health. If you need support reach out for it!

Bethany

How long had you previously been on the pill?

I had been on the pill for 6 years and had 0 side effects or complications. I came off the pill in 2018, due to no longer being sexually active. However, in November 2020 I went back on the pill.

What was your experience of being on the pill?

The first time I was on the pill I had 0 side effects or complications! It was great and did the job! However, the 2nd experience was awful. I gained weight, became moody and was on my period for 2 months (with about a day in between). I contacted my GP and they reassured me that this was normal and it would take a while for my periods to become regular whilst being on the pill.

Did you feel that there was enough education and awareness to help you make an informed decision about your use of contraception and the potential side effects?

I don’t feel like that there was enough awareness to help me make an informed decision. Back when I was 16, I chose to go on the pill because that was the most common form of contraception that I had heard about. I was made aware of the potential side effects, just not to the degree that I had them! I think I would use another form of contraception going forward.

What made you decide you wanted to stop taking the pill?

I decided to stop taking the pill because of the side effects. I wanted my periods to go back to normal and I wanted to give my poor body a break! Before taking the pill, my periods were regular.

Were you nervous about ditching the pill at all? If so, what was your biggest reservation?

I wasn’t nervous about ditching the pill as I now use other forms of contraception when having sex. However, I am looking into other forms such as the implant.

What mental and physical side-effects, if any, did you experience when you stopped taking it?

When I came off the pill, I became slightly anxious about my periods being irregular and I gained weight.

Did your menstrual cycle return straight away or did it take a bit of time to settle?

After about 3 weeks of stopping the pill, my menstrual cycle returned to normal.

Do you feel more in tune with your body now you’re off the pill?

I feel much better now I’m off the pill and my body is thanking me! I like that my periods are regular again and I know when it’s coming!

Did you learn anything new about your cycle, your moods, body fluids (sexy, we know) or anything else that could have been masked by the pill?

I think I learnt that my mood is awful just before my period (not great for the people around me!) and I have a small amount of discharge. Other than that, nothing really!

What’s been the best thing about coming off the pill?

The best thing about coming off the pill is that I am in control more of my body! My periods are now regular and I feel much much happier. The side effects were really getting me down and I was so anxious.

Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of turning their backs on this method of birth control?

My biggest piece of advice would be to research all methods of contraception. Not everyone reacts the same. My friends are on the pill and they are okay! My body didn’t react well to the pill and that’s also okay! Also, speak to your GP for reassurance – they’re amazing and will help you out all the way!

One thing you should prepare for when coming off the pill…

When coming off the pill, prepare for your body to take time to get back to normal. Your periods won’t go back to normal straight away and it may take time!

TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 8, 2021

13 Questions with Ruby Rare

We caught up with one of our favourite follows on Instagram, the always informing and inspiring Ruby Rare! Ruby is a sex educator who uses her platform to spread education and insight on tons of subjects including pleasure, monogamy, pronouns, the LQBTQIA+ community, consent, body acceptance, ethical porn and so much more.

First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?

I’m doing pretty good! I moved to the seaside at the start of this year and it’s done wonders for my mental health. It’s given me the headspace to focus on creative projects as well as sex education. Still feeling quite introverted after over a year of staying at home, but I’m focussing on going at my own pace when it comes to social interactions and dating IRL again.

Can you tell us about the work you do online?

I’m a sex educator, and I mostly talk about pleasure, queerness, and non-monogamy. It’s all about challenging preconceptions of what we’ve been taught sex ‘should’ look like, and helping people gain the confidence to have sex in the ways they truly want to. I also talk about body positivity – through showing the (mostly) joyful relationship I have with my wibbly wobbly body on instagram, as well as running Body Love Sketch Club with my pal Rosy Pendlebaby.

BLSC is a body-positive life drawing class where everyone
is invited to pose (nude or clothed) as well as draw, as a way of exploring our relationships with our bodies and celebrating nudity in a non-sexual setting. We’ve been running classes virtually since the start of the pandemic, and it’s been a great way to feel connected to myself and everyone who attends while we’ve not been able to see each other in person. It’s a really beautiful space if I say so myself!

How did you get started in sex positive/sex education work?

I started working for Brook, the UK’s leading sexual health charity for young people, 6 years ago. Before then I’d had an interest in sex positivity, but it wasn’t until I started going into classrooms and teaching young people relationship and sex education (RSE) that I realised just how important it is! A few years later, when I was still with Brook, I ran my first workshop for an adult audience (it was about how to consume porn in a
mindful and positive way). I found that adult audiences had just as many questions as the teenagers she worked with – wherever we’re at in life, there’s always more we can learn about sex.

Just like us you’re a huge advocate for self-pleasure, why do you think it’s so important for us to talk openly about it online?

By denying the existence of pleasure, or stigmatising it, we create layers of
shame which is so hard to unpack, and this has a massive impact on our self-esteem in so many parts of life, not just when we’re having sex. Pleasure is something we are all able to generate for ourselves, how, when, and if we feel like it, and I’m proud to be one of the voices advocating for a celebration of self-pleasure.

What opinions would you love to see change in the mainstream media over the next few years?

I could spend hours answering this… but in short, I want mainstream media to cultivate a more sex-positive attitude, whether that’s part of a conversation explicitly about pleasure, or about broader cultural topics. Oh and if they could celebrate trans lives instead of questioning and scrutinising trans folks, that would be great too!

We’re super excited to see your announcement for a podcast! What can
people expect to tune into?

Thank you! I’m so excited for people to listen. Each episode I’m exploring a topic that’s close to my heart – nudity, kink, non-monogamy, surviving sexual assault – and I talk to several different guests about it to present a multi-faceted experience for the listener. I’m all about showing how nuanced these massive topics can be, and celebrating how varied
our perspectives can be.

Can you tell us about your book ‘Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults’ and how it came to be?

I don’t think sex is talked about half as much as it should be. And the conversations we do have about sex aren’t focused enough on pleasure! I wanted to create a guide where readers felt welcomed into a sex-positive world, full of tips and practical information, as well as a space where they’d feel reassured that their sexual is valid and glorious just as it is. And I’m so grateful to Sofie Birkin for creating such gorgeous illustrations throughout
the book. This isn’t a book about quick fixes to ‘spice up your sex life’. It provides a way of looking at your sexual pleasure with more agency, acceptance, and joy, which I hope will make a long term difference to people’s lives.

What are you currently working on?

Right now I’m in podcast-mode most of the time, you’ll be able to hear what
I’m cooking up later in the year. And I’ve got lots of exciting content planned for pride month, which will be out soon.

Who are some of your current favourite follows?

So many to choose from! @iamrukiat, @squirtingisntpee,
@decolonisingcontraception, and @s3xtheorywithdemi are my current
favourite sex-positive accounts. And @pelillosalamar’s page always brings
me such joy, their brightly coloured images of bodies are gorgeous!

What does your perfect weekend look like?

I spend so much time on screens during the week, I do my best to take a pause from Instagram and emails over the weekend to reset. Now I’m a full-time seaside babe, my perfect weekend is leaving my phone at home, and heading to the beach for a day of swimming and frolicking with my loved ones. I’d want to be in a nude-friendly space, with an ice lolly in one hand and a vegan jelly in the other (I bloody love jelly). And once the sun sets, I’d throw on my silliest sparkly outfit and head to a queer club. Although I’m a granny at heart, so in this dream scenario I either have the stamina to dance all night, or I’d be back home and tucked up in bed by 1!

What do you always carry with you?

I always have my massive pair of orange-tinted sunglasses on me. Even if it’s a cloudy day, the lenses brighten up my surroundings and make me smile! And I have an emergency sachet of cystitis medication in my bag at all times, cos my urethra can go from tranquil to a burning hellscape in a matter of minutes… always be prepared!

What would your last ever meal be?

A ginormous, over-the-top jelly! Vegan of course, and hopefully large enough that I could dive into it.

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

Your relationship to sex has the potential to impact your whole life, and it’s worth putting the time in to learn and explore. Be brave, stay curious and communicate with yourself and those around you. Never forget that you are worthy of respect, love, pleasure and FUN!

TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 7, 2021

15 Ways to Focaccia this Summer

The airy oven-baked Italian loaf is the pinnacle of summer carbs - fuss-free, delicious when served warm alongside a chicken salad or as the foundation of a sandwich itself and easy to tailor to your tastebuds. In other words, everyone needs a focaccia bosom for a pillow.

Listen, there’s bread and then there’s focaccia. The famous bread that TikTok built in peak lockdown, kind of.

The airy oven-baked Italian loaf is the pinnacle of summer carbs – fuss-free, delicious when served warm alongside a chicken salad or as the foundation of a sandwich itself and easy to tailor to your tastebuds. In other words, everyone needs a focaccia bosom for a pillow.

It’s shockingly simple to make from scratch with plenty of tasty toppings to try from your classic failsafe rosemary and sea salt combo to balsamic onion and thyme and mixed olives and gorgonzola. Ready to dimple ya dough (it’s better than slime ASMR) and play your bread like a piano? Of course you are. Here are 15 ways to focaccia this summer…

1. Three Cheese Focaccia

Because one cheese is never enough, get thrice the joy with this gorgonzola, mozzarella and parmesan triple threat.

Get the recipe from Tasty here!

2. Asparagus, Lemon & Feta Focaccia

Simple, seasonal and perfect for sharing (if you have to) this fresh take on focaccia makes for the perfect dish to celebrate outdoor season with your nearest and dearest. Drizzle with honey and tuck in. Anyone else feel like singing Martine McCutcheon?

Get the recipe from Sugar Loves Spices here!

3. Goat Cheese, Pistachio & Rosemary Focaccia

No-knead dense and chewy focaccia dough crowned with tangy goat cheese, salty pistachios and earthy rosemary. Sublime.

Get the recipe from No Spoon Necessary here!

4. Garden Focaccia

Forget beer gardens, bread gardens are where it’s at this summer. For any creative types looking to impress guests with an edible masterpiece, feast your eyes on this Vincent Van Dough recipe. Turns out feathery parsley, toms, bell peppers and onions can make for wonderful bread bouquets.

Get the recipe from Sugar Geek Show here!

5. Pesto, Garlic & Olive Focaccia

We will not tolerate olive slander round here, at least not until you’ve given this recipe a good go.

Get the recipe from Goot to Know here!

6. Sundried Tomato, Artichoke & Parmesan Focaccia

Smells a lot like quitting your job and opening a focaccia stand. You’ll see.

Get the recipe from Good Things Baking here!

7. Garlicky Potato “Potaccia”

Hands up if you’ve ever felt personally victimised by #Breadtok. Just when we thought yeast had peaked, this iconic crunchy potaccia came along. Just use garlic-infused oil to enhance the bread’s flavour and make sure you bake your potato slices for 10-15 minutes beforehand for extra crunch.

Get the recipe from @tomatoesinsummer here!

8. Sweet Focaccia with Figs, Plums & Hazelnuts

For something a little sweeter, try this caramelised plums, figs and hazelnuts iteration.

Get the recipe from the NY Times here!

9. Blood orange, Honey & Rosemary Focaccia

As classic focaccia toppings go, this recipe is as rebellious as they come. The herb ‘n’ fruit ship is unexpected but we’re on board with forward thinking.

Get the recipe from In The Mood For Food here!

10. Strawberry Focaccia with Maple Syrup Glaze

Focaccia but make it fruity. And cottagecore.

Get the recipe from The Flavours of Kitchen here!

11. Peach & Thyme Focaccia

Nothing says summer like baked peaches. Serve warm alongside a generous bowl of olive oil, balsamic vinegar sprinkled with salt and pepper for dipping for the perfect sweet and salty garden snack.

Get the recipe from Love and Olive Oil here!

12. Caramelised Sweet Potato Focaccia

Grated Gouda, toasted walnuts and caramelised sweet potato. We are deceased.

Get the recipe from Martha Stewart here!

13. Onion and Leek Focaccia

This is landscape gardening done right. Add caramelised onion into the dough and top with woodsy chives, leeks and rosemary for an unforgettable bake.

Get the recipe from Martha Stewart here!

14. Apple & Cinnamon Focaccia

Forever a winning dessert combo, apple and cinnamon make for a comforting non-traditional take on this savoury Italian favourite. Here. For. It.

Get the recipe from The Crazy Kitchen here!

15. Potato, Beetroot & Thyme Focaccia

This bloody lovely loaf deserves to come along to your next picnic. A healthy dollop of chutney comes highly recommended.

Get the recipe from Delicious Magazine here!

TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 6, 2021

Weekly Wants: Outfits For Going Out Out

The clinking of glasses, dimmed lights, sticky dance floors and ringing ears at the end of the night- that's right people, it's nearly time to head out out!

The clinking of glasses, dimmed lights, sticky dance floors and ringing ears at the end of the night- that’s right people, it’s nearly time to head out out! Whilst the option to drink with pals has been something we’ve made the most of since pubs opened in April, the one and only 21st of June is fast approaching, and with that comes dancing freely, touching hands (ooo la la), wearing lipstick without it being ruined by a mask and screaming club classics from the top of your lungs. It’s pure joy bottled and if you’re anything like us then looking the part is très important!

Whether you’re all for showing off a little skin or prefer to let your hair and make-up do the talking, deciding on an outfit to hit the club is all about feeling comfortable, confident and shining bright for the inevitable Instagram Boomerangs and bling filters. At some point you will likely have a drink spilt on you, drop your phone, lose a friend in the crowd for a good 15 minutes and need to down some water after one too many tequilas, but hey, the moment is finally here and we’re going to be lapping it up in all its messy glory! Insert all the dancing lady emojis.

Have you got your June 21st look sorted yet?

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TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 5, 2021

Flower Therapy! 10 of the Most Instagrammable Flower Fields to Visit in the UK

From sunflower and lavender fields to wildflower meadows and woods carpeted with bluebells, here’s a list of picture-perfect spots right here on home turf.

Hands up if you’ve already completed a Google search of ‘flower fields near me’? Yep, us too. We are 100% that botanical bitch.

Now that we’re legally allowed to explore outside the periphery of our own postcodes (what a feeling), you might be thinking of going slightly further afield to get your fix of the great outdoors. Well, what better way to shake up your scenery than by frolicking amongst a sea of mood-boosting blooms?

Flower fields are one of life’s simple pleasures and luckily, you don’t need to travel quite as far as you’d think to enjoy them. From sunflower and lavender fields to wildflower meadows and woods carpeted with bluebells, here’s a list of picture-perfect spots right here on home turf.

Hitchin Lavender, Hertfordshire

A treat for the senses, this family-owned flower farm near Stevenage boasts 30 acres of the fragrant flower. Wander through row upon row of sweeping lilac and let the therapeutic properties of this healing herb work its magic on your mind.

In their shop, you’ll find all kinds of lavender products fro3m soaps and calming eye pillows to preserves and traditionally distilled lavender gin, should you fancy taking something home with you for the mems.

📍Cadwell Farm, Ickleford, Hitchin, Herts, SG5 3UA

The Real Flower Petal Confetti Company, Worcestershire

The Real Flower Petal Confetti Company have been handpicking petals since 1997 and are the UK’s original wedding petal growers. Just like blossom, their petals are natural and 100% biodegradable thanks to carefully developed methods of planting, growing and naturally drying their blooms.

Fields are open to the public during the summertime, usually around early July when the field on the Wyke Manor Estate is a riot of pastel-coloured petals and blooms. Visitors can usually expect to see delicate cornflowers, tudor pink and magnolia wildflowers and tall and elegant delphiniums.

If you’ve got an upcoming wedding in the diary and you’re looking for an eco-friendly confetti option, you can purchase their homegrown petals straight from their on-site shop, along with a selection of fresh seasonal flowers, too.

📍Wyke Manor, Wick, Pershore, Worcestershire WR10 3NZ

Norfolk Tulips

Wait a minute, there are tulip fields in the UK? We were today year’s old when we found out about Norfolk’s best-kept secret, too. Whist tulip season has been and gone already this year, this breathtaking place near King’s Lynn, is too good not to mention for all future floral pursuits.

The blousy flowers bloom in April, creating a sea of meticulously lined pinks, purples, yellows and reds that quite frankly deserve nothing more than to be the main character in our camera rolls all year round. Bookmark immediately for 2022.

📍 Near Belmont Nurseries, Gayton Road, East Winch, King’s Lynn, PE32 1LG

Cotswold Lavender Fields, Worcestershire

Set in the heart of the beautiful Cotswold hills overlooking Broadway and the Vale of Evesham, countryside views don’t get much better than this. One amble around this charming purple maze and you’ll forget the south of France even exists.

With over 40 different varieties of lavender and 140 miles of the stuff (500,000 plants in total), you’ll have a field day with this lovely lot.

📍Hill Barn Farm Snowshill, Broadway, Worcestershire, WR12 7JY

The Pop Up Farm, Hertfordshire

For happiness in floral form, sunflowers really are the best of the bunch. Head to The Pop Up Farm to stroll through their fields of gold, capture the golden giants from above from their photography deck and snap up some of your own cheery stems to take home and gift to your dining table.

📍M1 Junction 9, St Albans AL3 8HT

Rhossili Bay, Wales

Located along the Gower peninsula in Wales, Rhossili Bay is a flowerhead’s dream. Set against the stunning coastal backdrop of the iconic National Trust site Worm’s Head, you can immerse yourself in the wild beauty of these extraordinary sun-drenched flowers whilst soaking up the sandy shorelines, too. Spectacular at any time of day but particularly magical during golden hour when the golden giants bathe in the softness of the setting sun.

📍 Gower Peninsula, SA3 1PN

Micheldever Woods, Hampshire

Technically it’s not a field but humour us for a minute. From April through to late May, the ancient woodland at Micheldever is the perfect spot to make the most of the fleeting summer bluebells. As well as these bulbous beauties, you might be lucky enough to spot roe and fallow deer and many species of butterflies.

NB: please do take care when photographing the bluebells as they will not grow back if they’re trampled on.

📍 Northington Lane, Near Winchester, Hants

Norfolk Lavender

With 100 acres of these beautiful, scented fellas, you’re sure to get a floral pick-me-up here. Book onto one of their guided tours in the summer when the lav is in full bloom or enjoy the 50 varieties in their National Collection to get inspo for your garden. PS don’t leave without trying their famous lavender cake and scones in their tearoom. Sublime.

📍 Caley Mill, Lynn Rd, Heacham PE31 7JE

Castle Farm, Kent

Home to the largest lavender field in England (130 acres to be exact), Castle Farm is a historical family-run farm situated in the beautiful Kent landscape.

In July, they handpick over 50,000 bunches of fresh lavender from their fields and hang them to dry in their specialist hot air kilns so you’ll be able to take home the best kind of souvenir to remember your visit.

For a 10/10 cottagecore experience, snap up some tickets to their pre-booked walks and lavender picnic events, released mid-June.

📍Redmans Ln, Sevenoaks TN14 7UB

Lordington Lavender

A Sussex gem! This family-run lavender farm in the heart of Sussex opens to the public for one week only every year, so if you want to soak up the stunning views, don’t sleep on this perfumed patch. From August onwards, you can also find whimsical sunflowers here and pick your own for 50p per stem.

📍 Lordington Farm, Chichester PO18 9DX

TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 4, 2021

From Bumble to Thursday, A Guide to the Best Dating Apps for 2021

Let’s not waste another hot vax summer minute! From OG faves to game-changing newcomers, here are the dating apps that make using up all your valuable storage space totally worth it.

After a long and limp year of social distanced everything, dating IRL is gradually coming back to us. Fire up the dating apps (and your burning lockdown loins ofc), love and super likes are not cancelled guys.

When it comes to dating apps, it’s wild out there and like most things in life, it’s not one size fits all. Maybe you’re newly single and don’t know where to start or who to swipe, or perhaps you’re stuck in a romance rut and looking to expand your digital dating horizons – whatever your reason for landing here, you’re destined to walk away with a match. Still talking about dating apps FYI, not lovers. Sorry, we’re not that good.

Let’s not waste another hot vax summer minute! From OG faves to game-changing newcomers, here are the dating apps that make using up all your valuable storage space totally worth it.

Tinder

Founded in 2013 to help students meet each other, it started out as a social networking for both friendship and dating. My oh my, how things escalated. Tinder is now best known for casual meet-ups and bedfellows but that’s not to say you can’t find long-term love there, too. It’s particularly good for anyone looking to stick to the local love interests, be it the cute coffee guy or the distinguished gentleman on the train. Suit. Nice watch. Neat nails. Great taste in pens. Yeah, him.

A quick note on the post-Tinder life. If you do find a forever match on there, you’ll need to delete your profile and the app for your dating profile to fully disappear otherwise you’ll still be out there looking for love, according to Tinder.

Best for: keeping it casual.

Bumble

Created by women for women, it’s all power to the ladies in this hive. Praise be.

Much like Tinder, it’s a location-based app where daters can swipe through potential suitors – right means yes you like what you see, left means thank you, next. When both parties swipe right, a match is made, but – and here’s the cool part – it’s down to the woman to make the first move. She must send a message within 24-hours or (dramatic music) the match is lost. With same-sex matches, either person can make the first move. You can also determine the age range of people you want to match with as well as a radius.

Another cool feature on Bumble is the option to ‘verify’ yourself to prove you are who you say you are and prevent catfishing. This is done by taking a photo of yourself in a specific pose. Bumble then verifies that photo against the other photos you’ve uploaded and provides you with a blue tick once it decides you are the same person.

Best for: women who want to make the first move and relationship-minded people.

OkCupid

This OG dating app has been around since 2004. Its USP? Getting you noticed for who you are, not what you look like. In 2021, it shouldn’t be that ground-breaking, alas it is.

It’s also the most inclusive of all the apps, with 22 gender identities and 20 orientation options for members to choose from. OkC weeds out the users who would not be compatible for you, based on important deal-breaker questions covering everything from gun-crime and climate change to women’s issues and vaccines. No small talk here, they’re going straight for the subject matter we really care about. We love to see it!

When you’re done with mindless swiping, OkCupid’s the app to tap.

Best for: informed millennials.

Thursday

Thursday is reinventing the way we date by dedicating one day a week to finding romance. On the other six days of the week, it quite literally tells you to f*ck off because there’s more to life than dating apps. How refreshing.

In true Cinderella style, all matches and conversations disappear at the stroke of midnight, so you have to be proactive if you want to secure a date. It’s currently only available for users in London and New York with plans to roll out to Birmingham, Cardiff, Liverpool, Glasgow, Manchester and Dublin later this year.

Best for: Swerving the small talk and getting sh*t done.

Her

Her was created by and for queer women and non-binary people. Much like Tinder, you swipe left if you’re not interested and right if you want to get to know someone. Even if you’re not looking to date someone right now per se, Her is the perfect platform to meet a community of like-minded people and chat LGBTQ+ news and events in a safe and respectful space.

Best for: LGBTQ+ dating.

Jigsaw

Jigsaw is disrupting the superficial status quo by covering people’s faces with jigsaw pieces so their personality can do the talking. Clever stuff. Only when you swap messages and really connect with someone will the jigsaw pieces fall away revealing the face behind the conversation. Kinda like a 90s game show.

Best for: anyone frustrated with the superficial nature of online dating.

Playdate

The UK’s first dating app catering solely to single parents. Dating as a single parent can be daunting but Playdate allows solo mums and dads to find meaningful connections and relationships which work alongside their lifestyle and commitments.

This dating app takes the stress out of dating, facilitating connections with fellow single parents who know the responsibility that comes with being a parent first-hand. You can be matched with other single parents based on the filters you choose, whether it’s location, number and age of children, fellow widows or whether they want to have more children or not. It also makes arranging dates that little bit easier with its integrated babysitting service in partnership Bubble, the UK’s number one sitter and nanny app.

Best for: single parents looking for a long-term meaningful relationship.

Feeld

Aimed at open-minded individuals interested in a bit of kink, Feeld is the dating platform designed to explore your deepest desires without shame. Colloquially known as ‘the threesome app’, it’s a sex-positive space for curious minds to explore their sexuality and tap into their fantasies, safely with boundaries and consent.

Best for: anyone open to group play or anything beyond the vanilla.

POM

Forget the power of love, this app is all about the power of beats. POM (Power of Music) uses your music library to match you with fellow users based on compatibility, so now you can find a soul mate who’s well and truly on your wavelength. It’s at times like this we really regret the fact that we listen to Hilary Duff So Yesterday once a week.

Best for: anyone looking to meet their musical match.

Hinge

In their words, Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. It puts the meaning back into the match-making process and prioritises finding real, genuine, warm-the-cockles-of-your-heart connection.

You’ll get to know potential dates through personality-revealing prompts from their go-to karaoke song to their love language, immediately breaking the ice and making those initial awkward conversations that little bit easier.

Your pool of potential matches is gleaned from your Facebook account which means there’s a pretty good chance you, or at least someone you know, will be familiar with your match. Bye bye stranger danger.

Best for: witty types with funny bones.

Curtn

For anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable rushing out to date in person, you’ve got a match right here. Curtn is a video-first dating app that allows users to connect in a more authentic way, beyond filtered photos and small talk. It’s all about honest dating, sharing your authentic self and getting a real sense of the person on the other side of the screen. Simply choose a prompt and hit record to start finding matches.

Best for: interactive vibes.

Happn

Banking on a meet-cute? Happn is your best chance of brushing shoulders with that hot DPD driver or making that intense eye contact in queue at the post office actually go somewhere. The app is designed for you to meet someone close-by but rather than trying to figure out a way to cobble together a sentence in real life, you can just do it digitally right here. What a relief.

Best for: convenience and laid-back dating.

Grindr

Grindr is marketed as the social networking app for “gay, bi, trans and queer people” though it’s mostly frequented by gay men. Whilst it’s best known for its hook-up culture, it’s not impossible to find a LTR or meet your forever person on there. Just know that it really excels at the quick and casual thing.

Much like Tinder, users are able to search for potential dates around their area so if you spot a hottie in a mask at the bus stop and you immediately want to see what lies beneath, consider Grindr the best place to begin your search, my friend.

Best for: we’re just gonna come out and say it… hot gay sex.

Raya

Think private members club frequented by famous folk and influencers. Basically, the Soho House of dating apps, without the picante. It’s an invite-only app with a highly selective application process. You also need a referral from someone else already on the app via a ‘friend’s pass’ so it’s not exactly the most user-friendly experience but it comes in handy for professional athletes, renowned CEOs and A-listers.

Best for: the rich ‘n’ famous. Oh, and stans.

TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 3, 2021

Puff Sleeve Styles To Continue Your Cottagecore Obsession

Whilst last summer you were wafting around the house twiddling your thumbs and wondering how many takeaways was too many takeaways, this time around you can waft OUTSIDE, with friends, and look fabulous doing so!

Let’s be real, Cottagecore never really left the special place it found in our heart’s back in 2020, but the trend really does show no signs of slowing does as whimsical puff sleeves are IN right now. Whilst last summer you were wafting around the house twiddling your thumbs and wondering how many takeaways was too many takeaways, this time around you can waft OUTSIDE, with friends, and look fabulous doing so! 

Dreamy pastels are normally never far away when it comes to puff sleeves, as their romantic, feminine feel is a match made in heaven with the likes of an Easter egg colour palette- add in some gingham and you’re really onto a winner! Having said that, brands such as Rixo who favour a more statement colour wheel also nail puff sleeve drama too, proving the trend need not be exclusively for those who drool at the sight of pastel pink everything upon entering the shops. 

Serving peak bottomless brunch realness, keep scrolling for the creme de la creme of puff sleeve offerings!

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TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 3, 2021

How to Reclaim your Menstrual Cycle & Harness the Power of your Hormones

If you’re exhausted by period problems and wondering if there’s another way to live in harmony with your menstrual cycle, you’re in the right place.

Behold, the familiar impending doom of the monthly bleed. What. A. Hoot.

Like the meeting that could have been an email, our periods are the pinnacle of inconvenience. The doorbell that rings mid-poo, the dress pocket that catches on a door handle and immediately indicates how the rest of your day is going to go, the reflection of your boobs on the bath taps when you’re just trying to capture an innocent zen bath photo. None of them, however, match up to menstrual cycle misfortune, or at least the perceived misfortune.

If you’re exhausted by period problems and wondering if there’s another way to live in harmony with your menstrual cycle, you’re in the right place. Whether you’re contending with debilitating period pain or you simply want to understand the inner workings of your cycle to benefit from a stronger connection with your body, we’re going to take a deep dive into our cycles right here in a place free from stigma and shame.

The cycle basics

Given the lack of menstrual and sex education, it’s no wonder so many of us are left mystified by our cycles and completely out of touch with our hormones. Understanding the cycle basics can provide a great foundation for a better relationship with it, simply by being aware of what your body is going through at each phase of your cycle.

Many menstruators would be forgiven for thinking our cycle refers exclusively to the phase when we bleed, however, our cycles affect us all through the month

Many menstruators would be forgiven for thinking our menstrual cycle refers exclusively to the phase when we bleed, however, our cycles affect us all through the month – from the start of one period (day one of your cycle) to the next – and can be responsible for everything from energy levels to mood and productivity. This is often referred to as a 28-day cycle, though many menstruators have shorter or longer cycles. From day one (the first day of your period and significant blood loss) to ovulation, you’re in the first half of your cycle which is referred to as the follicular phase.

Then, from ovulation to the start of your next period or pregnancy, you’re in the second phase of your cycle known as the luteal phase, and those are the two key halves that make up the sequence of your menstrual cycle.

Image Credit: drbrighten.com

Cycle tracking

It’s no secret that women’s health is seriously underfunded and overlooked, leaving many people feeling completely isolated and ignored. Despite the fact one in three women or vulva-having people will suffer from a gynaecological or reproductive health problem, less than 2.5% of publicly funded research is dedicated solely to reproductive health. There is five times more research into erectile dysfunction, which affects 19% of men, than into premenstrual syndrome which effects 90% of women. When it comes to pain and health, women and vulva owners continue to be woefully neglected, and even more so if those people are people of colour, non-binary or trans.

There is a huge disparity between the number of people with hormonal and reproductive issues and the amount of funding and research that goes into them.

In the frankly rare instances when women and vulva owners can access reproductive and gynaecological health care, their experience is often misdiagnosed or undermined due to lack of education amongst health care professionals and the fact that women and people with vulvas are not believed when they share their experiences, whether it be symptoms that point to perimenopause, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) or endometriosis. Often these issues are only deemed worthy of investigation when you’re trying to conceive because only then when our ovaries are going to be used in a reproductive capacity are our concerns heard and validated.

Cycle tracking, then, is one simple way to trust your body, get your answers and obtain the data needed to bolster your experience and should you experience reproductive health issues, you can share these insights to prioritise and advocate for yourself in order to get the professional care you deserve.

Tracking your cycle enables you to live in harmony with your mind and body, adjusting your behaviour according to what you need, physically and emotionally, within each phase. It dismantles the belief that you need to be productive on the days when your body is really fighting for its right to rest without guilt.

Learning to listen to your body & respect what it needs from you

We talk a lot about practising mindfulness in our lives but when it comes to our cycles, we’re completely disconnected.

The constant shift in our hormones impacts the way we feel throughout our entire cycle.

At the start of your cycle, when you have a period, hormone levels are low which explains why you may feel a dip in energy levels and an intuitive desire to rest and retreat. Pair that with menstrual cramps and tender breasts and it’s a recipe for pizza in the bath. This is the part when we need to listen to our bodies. If we’re tired, we rest, if we’re hungrier than usual, we eat more calories and if we don’t want to socialise, we stay home and get an early night.

As we move through the first phase of our cycles, oestrogen gradually increases and peaks just before ovulation and this can cause us to feel more sociable, light-hearted and energised. Our behaviour syncs up with our cycles in a way that encourages us to make the most of our fertile window when conception is possible. In the days leading up to ovulation, testosterone is also prominent in our bodies and can increase our sexual desire, motivation and productivity.

Once you ovulate, there’s a hormonal drop off and you may feel completely different from the days when you were transitioning through your fertile window, or you may feel just a subtle difference in your state of being (not everyone feels the changes so acutely).

About a week before your next period is due, you’ll probably feel more interested in your internal world than the external world and this is largely down to progesterone. For the most part, the presence of progesterone in the second half of your cycle has a calming effect on the nervous system and chills you out, though some people may respond to it differently like those with PMDD. This is the time to hibernate and embrace that deep and restful sleep ahead of your next period.

You can tune into your feelings, recognise them, own them and harness their power.

Understanding how the different phases of your cycle affect you in your day-to-day life, whether those changes are subtle or substantial, arms you with the knowledge, self-compassion and awareness of your fluctuating biology and how your hormones may be responsible for everything from your ability to focus, your mood, sex drive and energy levels. From here, you can begin to tune into your feelings, recognise them, own them and harness their power. The more we tap into why we’re feeling a certain way during our cycles, the more we can adjust our behaviour accordingly and go easy on ourselves.

Knowing this information and connecting with the intrinsic wisdom of your cycle in this way is a simple but incredibly effective tool that can make a huge difference when it comes to understanding how every nuance of our cycle affects our ability to work, socialise, concentrate, sleep, eat and exercise. It allows us to make sense of our feelings and channel their energy in a way that’s beneficial for us, which is always going to be conducive to a better, more empowering cycle.

The relationship with your cycle

Working on the relationship you have with your cycle demands an openness around making changes, acknowledging your cycle’s presence and communicating with it in a helpful way.

Perhaps for those with long cycles, you spend the majority of that time frustrated at your period’s infrequency and thus, your relationship with your cycle is based around feelings of relief when it shows up but resentment for its irregularity. For anyone trying to conceive, you might be at loggerheads with your cycle right now because for every month it insists on arriving, it’s preventing you from achieving the very thing the cycle is functioning for in the first place. Frustrating much?

What is your cycle telling you and how can you use those signals to strengthen your relationship?

Acknowledging the ever-changing relationship you have with your cycle allows you to approach it from a loving place, whatever obstacles you face each month. It creates positive change to rework the dynamic of the relationship you have with your cycle so that you’re working together. This paves the way for communication and invites perspective. For example, instead of berating it for its sporadic nature, you might feel curious to know more, what is your cycle telling you in those instances and how can you use those signals to strengthen your relationship?

You enter the chat. You listen, lean in, invite conversation and establish the kind of boundaries that allow you to respect your cycle, even if it has its challenges. You don’t have to be in love with your cycle, neutrality can be just as instrumental and just as empowering.

Your thoughts inform your relationship with your cycle and all thoughts are optional. You get to choose how you perceive your cycle.

If your cycle-based symptoms are really impacting you, having this communication line enables you to take care of yourself with love and compassion. You’re conversing with your cycle in a more helpful and encouraging way, and that’s an important approach.

It is possible to feel empathy for your cycle, even if it’s not plain sailing and that in itself is an empowering realisation. Nobody’s asking for it to be a perfect relationship but if you can get to a place where it feels amicable and respectful, it can still serve you. You don’t have to celebrate it but you can find a way to honour it with your own thoughts.

Letting go of the pressure to have the ‘perfect’ cycle

Part of having a relationship with your cycle and reaching a place of neutrality with it means letting go of perfect and making peace with pain. That’s not to say that those who are experiencing debilitating pain and misdiagnoses should not seek professional help, it means that we, as menstruators, don’t run away from feelings of discomfort or sedate them with forced positivity. All emotion is valid and appropriate and to tell someone with chronic pain that they should be embracing their period is unreasonable and unhelpful.

In some situations, processing what we’re feeling is the positive approach we need in order to form a deeper and more kind-hearted connection with our cycle. By practising neutral thought work, you make room for improvement. You open your mind to another possibility and maybe from there, you take another step towards positivity when it’s helpful for you to do so. When we understand ourselves and grant ourselves the love and respect to feel what we need to feel in any given moment, you can’t undermine the tremendous impact that has on your quality of life and the ripple effect that self-compassion has on your cycle.

The power of conversation & shared experience

Periods are still subject to stigma, shame and misogynist gibes. They are hidden from view; a dark and under-researched mystery shoved up a tactical long sleeve to spare us the walk of shame to the bathroom; a bathroom where we sit on a throne of humiliation, trying to menstruate quietly. We try to bleed silently, without disrupting the WC ambience with our tampon rustling and that is a symptom of patriarchy.

Perhaps the best way to have agency over our cycles is simply by talking about them in the right way. Acknowledging the pain of our bleeds, paying attention, being attentive with our bodies and instead of recoiling at the thought of another cycle, or feeling guilty because we aren’t productive, shift our mindsets to embrace each phase of cyclical living and stop othering this experience.

Maybe we simply need to stop acting like being hormonal is something to dread and make way for the conversation that says it’s something to accept openly, compassionately and without shame.

Just like the seasons, you will bloom and bleed in a riot of human feelings, from the wild through to the wonderful; winter through to spring – and every one of these expressions of cyclical living has the potential to liberate you.

There is a certain power that comes from having this monthly experience and getting to know your cycle is not only the greatest act of self-care but one of the most untapped resources for improving your mental health.

TEAM ZOELLA JUNE 2, 2021

May Book Club: The Road Trip by Beth O’Leary

Read the team’s reviews and block out a couple of hours in the diary to sit down with O’Leary’s latest drop because trust us, that’s all you’ll need.

As a team of Beth O’Leary stans, we’re never not waiting for her to write another book. Luckily for us (and you) she just has and true to form, it’s bloody glorious stuff.

The Road Trip is a sexy, page-turning, uproariously funny gem of a book, complete with a full tank of characters so expertly made, you’re convinced you’ve met them on a hard shoulder somewhere in a previous life.

Mistress of feel-good fiction and queen of Up Lit – a book trend with empathy and kindness at its core – there’s no one we’d rather get stuck in a car with tbh. Addie, Dylon, Marcus and Deb were in v good hands here.

Laced with that signature O’Leary wit and dynamite dialogue, you could say The Road Trip is Beth’s best work yet, and if you’ve read The Flatshare and The Switch, then you’ll know that’s a pretty bold statement to make.

Read the team’s reviews and block out a couple of hours in the diary to sit down with O’Leary’s latest drop because trust us, that’s all you’ll need.

Purchase the Road Trip here and cue the book hangover.