There’s a lot to unpack here! Firstly, I want to say that I don’t blame you for feeling hurt still, it’s a really shitty thing for your boyfriend to have done. I wouldn’t mind my boyfriend using OnlyFans, because I see it as a more ethical platform then say PornHub, sex workers get paid and it’s a safe environment for them. However, there’s a line and there sure as hell is boundaries to who you subscribe to on OnlyFans. People you went to school with and who was a close friend of yours? Firm no, absolutely overstepping the boundaries. Not only does this make you uncomfortable, I bet it made the other women uncomfortable too, especially because he paid for extra photos.
Being curious too just seems like a strange thing to say, so basically, you’ve always wanted to see these women naked, so you took the first chance you got? Like there’s a difference between using OnlyFans for sexual pleasure and using it to see women you went to school with naked you know? I’d also be surprised if he didn’t realise the £100 leaving his account like if he’s strapped for cash, £100 is a LOT to just leave your account unnoticed. I think the issue is, he has deleted the app, which is good of him to have done, to me it seems he realised he messed up and has made it right. However, you are still hurt and that’s an issue as this feeling will fester. I want you to know straight up, this has nothing to do with you or how attractive he finds you; you are always enough. But if you are with someone who makes you feel as if you aren’t enough, that’s an issue.
The problem is if you have said you have forgiven him, then rehashing it might cause more issues because he will probably be thinking “well I thought we resolved this, why is this coming up again?”. I think you either must decide to let it go and move past it, or if you can’t move past it, think about if this relationship can move forward with you holding this grudge. I think in the future if you face any other issues that really hurt you, be super vocal and let him know how much he has upset you, honesty is always the best to try and move on.
You are always enough and if he doesn’t see it, well his bloody loss! Sending you lots of love and best of luck with everything in the future Xx