Dried flowers are back from the dead and the options are wild, with fluffy pampas grass displayed in chic af vases and everlasting bouquets taking over our Instagram and our homes.

Fun fact: back in the 70s, planting the feathery plumes in your garden was considered rather risqué after rumours spread that pampas-proud homeowners were into none other than… swinging. Bold of them to assume an innocent, albeit a little phallic-looking, plant was code for wife swapping but OK.

Since then, the humble species has gone up in the world and enjoyed some great pr – with a little help from a certain Kardashian – cementing itself as a millennial must-have and putting that silly gossip well and truly to bed.

Not only are dried flowers a more affordable way to enjoy a bit of nature in your home, they’re also highly convenient for lazy girls and failed flower parents like @ me, meaning you can leave them sitting pretty in the curves of Anissa Kermiche’s love handles without having to worry that they’re casually dying of thirst.

Whether you’re into statement grasses, bushy bunnytails or dainty gypsophila, these versatile blooms are a simple way to add some personality into a room and incorporate some natural texture throughout your home. They also get a big fat tick where sustainability is concerned, since they’re often locally sourced and free from plastic.

Far from the outdated posies once associated with dusty B&Bs and granny’s bathroom, you can now get your hands on all kinds of bougie arrangements from earthy neutrals and tonal designs right through to Wes Anderson worthy pastels and bright ‘n’ bold creations. If you can dream it, you can buy it.

With the sales of dried blooms up 115% and lockdown living inspiring many budding florists to quit their office jobs in favour of creative pursuits, we caught up with three of our favourite dried flower brands, The Happy Blossoms, Phohm and Three Sisters Farm, to chat business, blooms and the future of floristry.

PHOHM

What inspired you to start your own dried flower business?

I was inspired by the everlasting nature of dried flowers and creating displays that are designed with the intention of permanence. 

Have you always been interested in floral design?

I’ve always loved flowers and some of my fondest memories are of going to Columbia Road Flower Market. My passion for floral design came later. I studied Fine Art and have always had an eye for arranging things as well as a skill for creating. I started working as a prop-maker and during that time I worked on a project which used lots of artificial flowers. I really enjoyed the project and decided to start creating flower arches for local Brighton businesses. I got a lot of commissions and quickly launched my own floral design business in 2018. 

How did you turn your passion for dried flowers into a business?

PHOHM started as a floral design company trading solely to commercial businesses. I used artificial flowers and foliage to create large scale installations for bars, salons, shops and restaurants. These were mainly commissions, so whenever I could add my own personal touch to the installations I opted for dried flowers over artificial. 

The aesthetic of dried flowers are much more my style so when Covid hit I had to think fast and decided to start creating dried flower bouquets for people’s homes.

A friend of mine had a shop in The North Lanes and let me rent the space to start a dried flower pop-up. We opened the weekend that the first lock down eased. 

The trial weekend went really well and PHOHM pop-ups quickly became a weekly affair. As well as having the space in The North Lanes I also hosted multiple pop-ups outside cafes and bars in Brighton and Greater London. All the handwork paid off and I now have a permanent space in The Lanes Brighton and I couldn’t be happier.

Why do you think there’s been such a resurgence in the popularity of dried flowers over the last few years?

Fashion goes round in circles. It always does. I think this time around it has more significance because people are much more aware of being wasteful.  It’s very en vogue to be environmentally conscious which means home interiors are much more focused around the concept of slow living. 

What does an average day in the life of floral creative look like?

Wake up at 7ish get washed and dressed followed by Coffee (Oat Mocha) & Crumpets (Marmite) stick on 6music and reply to enquiries, send out quotes + invoices & complete general life admin.

I live locally so I walk into town and open the shop at 11. On busy days it’s back to back creating bouquets and vase stylings for customers. On the quieter midweek days my studio is inside the shop which is great because I can focus on my commissions for larger scale designs such as vase stylings, custom wreaths and pampas clouds.

On the days that I’m not working in the shop, I’ll be going to meetings with potential clients, visiting antiques fairs to source vases or out installing larger projects. 

How do you go about sourcing your flowers?

I use a few different suppliers depending on what I need. Sourcing the fluffiest pampas or the perfect shaped palm can be tricky so I take my time when researching to ensure that I get the best stems to stock in the shop.

What’s different about working with dried blooms compared with fresh flowers?

I keep to a neutral earthy palette for my everlasting displays which are mainly focussed around dried grasses. This is very reflective of my own personal style, I dress in a very neutral palette and as you can see from the interior of my shop this is my style preference in terms of interiors too.   
What I love about working with fresh flowers is that I can be really playful with colour. I find this a lot harder to do with dried because I don’t particularly like the look of dyed dried flowers.

Working with fresh also enables me to practise mindfulness, patience and being more gentle in my approach. I really enjoy editing fresh flowers, an example of this is flexing. Flexing is where you gently fold back the petals of the flower to change its more recognisable appearance. Roses and Lisianthus look incredible when flexed. It’s these little tricks & techniques that make the difference between floral design and traditional floristry.  

Are there any trends we should be on the lookout for, what’s going to be the next pampas do you think?!

In terms of trends Mantelscaping. The rise of sculptural ceramic vases, ornamental candles and of course dried flowers are all major players when it comes to Mantelscaping. Mantelscaping is where you arrange your favourite objects in your home candles, vases, mirrors, artworks etc and display them on your mantelpiece to curate a design feature that fills you with joy each time you look at it. The beauty of this is that it will naturally change and evolve depending on the flowers and objects you choose to display. 

Having flowers in your mantelscape is crucial. Fresh, dried or in my case both,  always look fantastic in sculptural ceramic vases. In terms of what’s going to be the next pampas, who knows. I would like to see larger floral installations in peoples homes, such as wall-based displays as pieces of art and floating cloud designs above peoples dining tables. 

For anyone new to dried flowers, what’s the easiest way to introduce them into your home décor?

Come and visit me in my shop, bring your own vase or purchase one from our antique collection and I’ll style it for you. These custom vase stylings are excellent because we create a bespoke arrangement that is completely unique to you and your style. 

Part of the beauty of dried flowers is their longevity, but do you have any top tips for making sure they stay looking their best?

Each stem differs but some good guidelines to follow are:Palms away from sunlight (if you don’t want them to fade), anything fluffy i.e Pampas + Reed grass away from any moisture. For extra fluffiness use a warm hairdryer on the stems, do this outside if possible, then hairspray to reduce any shedding. Give your dried flowers a little wiggle every now and then to avoid any dust gathering. 

What’s the best thing about owning a dried flower business?

The business is a creative outlet for me. I love designing and creating new displays every day. I’m an ideas person for sure so coming up with interesting concepts for brands + larger scale installations is definitely my favourite part of the job.

What do you think floristry will look like in the next 5-10 years and what sort of changes do you hope to see happen, any predictions?

Probably not too dissimilar from now I imagine. Nothing ever really changes that much. I think the permanence of dried is very appealing so I can’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. It really would defeat the object of the long lasting appeal if everyone decided to just throw them away. Prediction wise I think that dried flower weddings will be extremely popular.

What’s your best advice for anyone else looking to start their own floristry business?

Find your own style, appreciate but don’t imitate. I think having your own style is super important, you can tell the difference between floral designs when none of the personality of the florist has gone into their work and they’ve just replicated. It’s hard to be original nowadays when everything everyone else is doing is presented to us all the time on Instagram. All the images we see seep into our subconscious and we recreate often un-intentionally.

My advice would be to find inspiration from real things that you truly love. And if you are using platforms like Instagram for inspo one tip I have would be to save images that you’re inspired by, look at them all together in your saved section then put your phone down and create your own interpretation of the amalgamation of images that you’ve seen. 

In terms of styling and making your own dried arrangements, are there any dos and don’ts to consider?

Colour-wise I prefer sticking to a neutral earthy palette. Complementary tones where you can’t really go wrong would be beiges and lights alongside minky coffee tones. Avoid dark colours with lights and have contrasting textures of the same tones. When it comes to larger sculptural elements like palms stick to just one  and have it front facing. If you’re using small sculptural stems like floral heads or bunny tails stick to odd numbers. Taller fluffy stems like pampas look best arranged in threes or fives. A loose guideline to follow would be to arrange in triangles playing with differing heights. Floral design is just about having the eye for arranging and having the confidence to know when to stop. 

What’s the biggest misconception or assumption about your job?

I suppose the biggest assumption would be that my house is filled with flowers. That assumption would be correct, my house is of course filled with flowers.

Let’s get whimsical, what do flowers mean to you?

Some of the frills, textures and colours of fresh florals I find mesmerising. Sometimes I think the world can’t be so bad when something so beautiful can naturally grow from the soil. I love the ceremonial aspect of flowers. We give them as gifts, carry them around at weddings, and have them laid on top of us when we die. Flowers are a big part of our culture in Britain and I think that goes fairly unnoticed.

An impossible question to answer BUT, what’s your all-time favourite flower / dried grass?

All-time fresh favourite is a Cafe au lait Dahlia, Dried Strelitzia leaves are my current crush, each one is so unique and adds a gorgeous sculptural element to my displays. 

What’s next for you and your business?

Launching our events program from June. Expect lots of floral design workshops as well as, life drawing, ceramics & Silversmithing. The space will also be hireable allowing creatives to use the space outside of shop hours to host their own workshops or pop-ups. 

Three Sisters Farm Shop

What inspired you to start your own dried flower business, have you always been interested in floral design?

We saw a gap in the market and decided to go for it! We didn’t know much about floristry at all. Having just left a long career in banking I decided why not give blooms a go! After an online course and a bit of experimenting my creative side was unleashed!

How did you turn your passion for dried flowers into a business?

There is something very whimsical about Dried Flowers, the way they fall, the colours and textures are so unique and interesting. It was love at first sight. I thought if I can see this, so will others and be gone with their old 80’s reputation!

Why do you think there’s been such a resurgence in the popularity of dried flowers over the last few years?

Dried flowers are the perfect finishing touch to the ever-popular boho scandi type interior that is very on trend. The soft textures and fluffy pampas add warmth to a room like no other accessory can. Not forgetting the low maintenance attribute. I for one struggle keeping plants alive and always get sad throwing flowers away once they have died. Dried flowers solve this problem by giving you a low maintenance fresh-looking bunch for years! 

What does an average day in the life of floral creative look like?

It is cliché but no two days are the same. We are super busy right now and staying on top of orders is our number one priority! It is a tricky job trying to get each bouquet unique in its own right but uniformed and measured correctly for each customer. So much care and attention goes into each one of our bouquets. We recently installed a flower wall at Westfield shopping centre. This was so much fun to create and we hope to increase our installation and wedding side of the business very soon!

How do you go about sourcing your flowers?

We have worked in this industry for almost a year now so have developed great relationships with key suppliers in both the UK and The Netherlands. We purchase from the auctions in Holland as you would with fresh flowers. Stock is quick to sell and change so we need to be planning our stock demands in advance.

What’s different about working with dried blooms compared with fresh flowers?

I think the biggest difference is the fact they are dried! When working with fresh they are in water and its cold! However, dried flower stems are so fragile so it takes a different type of skill to perfect a spiralled bouquet! These are quotes from our floristry team headed up by Rachel, Eleanor and Julie.

Are there any trends we should be on the look-out for, what’s going to be the next pampas do you think?!

I think pampas will be around for a while yet as there are so many different colours and textures that you could refresh an interior space just by changing your pampas! There is certainly a demand for faux pampas as well but I can’t bear the thought of more plastic! Stay natural people!

A simple statement piece of some short pampas is a great way to add a minimalist look. Depending on your colour choice a small bouquet would also be a great starting point!

Part of the beauty of dried flowers is their longevity, but do you have any top tips for making sure they stay looking their best?

We include some tips on a care card when purchasing but dried flowers adapt to their environment! For this we advise they are kept out of direct sunlight and away from moisture! You can also dust them by giving them a blow with a hairdryer, every six months or so! Some of the stems may drop but this is fine and adds to the texture and look of the flowers.

What’s the best thing about owning a dried flower business?

The chance to work with nature and beautiful flowers every day! We absolutely love to hear when customers receive their orders and they are happy.

What do you think floristry will look like in the next 5-10 years and what sort of changes do you hope to see happen, any predictions?

I think it is an industry that needs to accept its place in the climate change discussion. The amount of water consumption that is required for fresh flowers alone is damaging. There are many sustainable benefits from using dried. I would like to see dried installations being used in commercial and corporate spaces as well as securing its place in mainstream society. Moving away or reducing our use of fresh and artificial flowers seems like a great choice for the planet! I would love to see dried flowers have a large share of the market when it comes to buyers choice.

What’s your best advice for anyone else looking to start their own floristry business?

Why buy? And why buy from us? We ask ourselves this question all the time and I think its great. The ‘us’ part gives you a purpose and the why buy, gives you direction. What do you want to sell? Bouquets or wreaths. Arrangements or stems. Figure out your purpose and direction first!

In terms of styling and making your own dried arrangements, are there any dos and don’ts to consider?

We have come to realise there really isn’t any rules when it comes to dried flowers! I feel like we are creating arrangements that have never been done before as there so many different variations. I do tend to stick to colour blocking as I think this helps the customer decide on the bouquets purpose. For example, we have pinks and purples but also greys and blues. Something for everyone! But we really do recommend you purchase some single stems and have a go at creating your own unique arrangement! Its so easy and fun!

What’s the biggest misconception or assumption about your job?

That’s easy! It really isn’t. We have worked so hard and have sacrificed a lot. Time with my son being one of them. We are hoping as we expand that it allows an option to be flexible but right now it’s day and night and it’s hard work.

Let’s get whimsical, what do flowers mean to you?

Flowers are beautiful and I think they can represent so much! I have a bunch that my son made for me for my birthday and every day I look at them and think of him! Dried flowers are the gift that keep on giving and so does their beauty.

An impossible question to answer BUT, what’s all-time favourite flower / dried grass?

It is a very hard question as I love them all! However, the bunny tail / lagurus holds a special place in my heart. It’s so soft and fluffy and delicate. I love them.

What’s next for you and your business?

We have big plans. We want to be the biggest dried flower supplier in the UK! This is going to take a lot of hard work but with the amazing team we have behind us we believe anything is possible so why not aim to be the best!

The Happy Blossoms

What inspired you to start your own dried flower business, have you always been interested in floral design? 

We already had a successful floral business before we launched the Baked Blossoms, but I was very worried about Brexit impacting on supply chains and thought adding an extra arm to the business would be a no-brainer! Also had seen lots of dried flowers around that were very colourless and plain and wanted to create a product that was super vibrant and happy, so I started to investigate and contact suppliers to trial products and create the Baked Blossoms!

Why do you think there’s been such a resurgence in the popularity of dried flowers over the last few years? 

I think Instagram is amazing at sharing interior trends and this has been massive in us creating the colourful dried flower trend introduced by the Baked Blossoms. Our customers love that they can have flowers in the house for such a long time. 

How do you go about sourcing your flowers?

We have amazing suppliers that we have brilliant relationships with from being in the floral industry for several years.

What’s different about working with dried blooms compared with fresh flowers? 

Lots of dried flowers are actually grasses, therefore in each bunch, there is often a much higher stem count than you would get in a fresh flower bouquet. They don’t require conditioning in the same way, and no bucket – scrubbing which we do a lot of with fresh flowers!

Are there any trends we should be on the look-out for, what’s going to be the next pampas do you think?! 

I think that protea could be the next pampas grass for sure!

For anyone new to dried flowers, what’s the easiest way to introduce them into your home décor? 

Grab your favourite jug, vase or pot and cut your new bunch to size!

Part of the beauty of dried flowers is their longevity, but do you have any top tips for making sure they stay looking their best? 

Keep away from direct sunlight, humidity, temperature changes and sit them in a vase so that they’re supported.

What’s the best thing about owning a dried flower business? 

Being surrounded by gorgeous flowers and colours on a daily basis and getting to work with a wonderful team of humans! 

What do you think floristry will look like in the next 5-10 years and what sort of changes do you hope to see happen, any predictions? 

I think that this last year has made us appreciate our homes & interiors in a whole new way and introducing flowers whether fresh or dried will be a massive part of continuing this. Flowers have a hugely positive impact on mental health and I think everyone has started to really realise that.

What’s your best advice for anyone else looking to start their own floristry business? 

I undertook a 1-year college course before getting a job in a local florist. I don’t think it’s necessary to go to college, but would really recommend gaining work experience and learning on the job! 

In terms of styling and making your own dried arrangements, are there any dos and don’ts to consider?

If the colours make you happy, then go for it! 

Let’s get whimsical, what do flowers mean to you? 

They are my world, I love them and they make me so happy! The flower industry is an incredible industry and brings me so so much joy each day.

An impossible question to answer BUT, what’s all-time favourite flower / dried grass? 

Favourite fresh flower is lilac, favourite dried flower is hillflower.

What’s next for you and your business? 

Keep spreading happiness through flowers, in every way we can!

First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going?

I’m good thank you! 2021 has been pretty hectic so far but I won’t complain. Every day has brought something new which is really exciting. Since the new year, we have introduced a new rebrand for All Things Money, launched two new products, and have released a brand-new podcast. Now that lockdown is starting to ease, I am really excited to see how the rest of 2021 goes. (Fingers crossed there are no more lockdowns on the horizon though…!)

Can you tell us about All Things Money and what you provide?

All Things Money is a personal finance platform that is designed to discuss all of the personal finance topics we weren’t taught at school or university from budgeting, saving, investing and everything in between!

Adulting life can be extremely daunting as we are expected to know certain things such as how to get a credit card, how to buy or rent property to knowing how to get the best energy and electricity deals without being taught all of it at school! Because of this, All Things Money is here to help make the adulting world feel a lot less daunting. To do so I provide lots of financial tips and information over on Instagram and Twitter which is where you can find me mainly. I also sell a wide range of personal finance eBooks and planners to help people develop their knowledge and understanding further and I now officially have my very own podcast which I highly recommend if anyone is looking to kickstart their personal finance journey!

What inspired you to start All Things Money?

I had just finished University during the first lockdown and my plans to travel Australia had just been cancelled due to covid which I remember being really upset about. Around the same time I had just learnt how to invest in the stock market and that same week I managed to get around 5 of my friends involved in it too! That spurred on the idea to help others get started on their investing journey along with other tips and information about the world of personal finance as we’re not taught much about this at school or university when I really believe it should be! Entering adulthood is hard enough as it is, let alone learning how to manage your finances effectively on top of it too.

Why do you think it’s so important that people continue to educate themselves about their money?

I think it’s really important that people educate themselves about money as poor money management can often leave people in a lot of debt or with long-term mental health issues due to the stress money can often cause. I think that’s another main reason why I decided to create All Things Money, to create accessible resources for young people to show them that managing your finances really isn’t as complicated or boring as it may seem! The more education there is on the topic, the more people will find themselves in better financial positions which is probably even more important than ever after the last year we’ve had!

What can people expect to hear in your podcast?

On my podcast, you can expect to hear me chat about all things money! So far, I have discussed effective saving hacks, investing and mortgages along with some great guests and we have lots more exciting topics to come from how to create your own successful side hustle to how you can negotiate a higher salary in the workplace.

I aim to make each episode fun and light-hearted as like I mentioned earlier, conversations about money really don’t need to be boring or mundane at all!

What are some of the most common misconceptions people have about finance?

One of the main misconceptions people have about finance is that you need to have a lot of money to be able to save or invest your money. When it comes to creating a separate pot of savings, you can literally start saving as little or as much as you want. It’s all about your own affordability which will be different for everybody. What people seem to overlook is that every little helps. Even if you manage to put aside £5 a week for the whole year that is an easy £255 saved up which can go towards an emergency fund which can be used to replace that flat car battery or even purchase that emergency train ticket home from uni! (I have found myself in those situations countless times…)

Interestingly enough, the same goes for investing. A lot of people assume that you need to have a lot of spare cash to start investing in the stock market, when that really isn’t the case. There are so many platforms out there now that allow you to start investing with as little as £1!

What do you hope to achieve with All Things Money over the coming years?

This is a very good question! I change my mind nearly every day about where I see All Things Money going in the future. However, one thing I definitely want to do is go into schools and colleges and host a number of personal finance talks and workshops because I really do feel that personal finance education is a crucial skill that all of us need to develop and is majorly lacking in schools!

What are you currently working on?

I have previously spent the past month or so working on this new podcast which I am very excited about! So, for now, I am focusing on growing the podcast and finding exciting new guests to join me each week!

Who are some of your favourite follows online?

My favourite follows online include:

– Chloé from @chloesdealclub as she always manages to find THE best deals.

– Elvire from @savewithelvs as she provides some amazing money-saving hacks that everyone needs to know about!

– Ryan from @makingmoneysimple as he provides some amazing investing tips for beginners.

What does your perfect weekend look like?

The perfect weekend for me would be either a bottomless brunch or evening drinks with the girls. My Sunday would then consist of a chilled day filled with lots of snacks and a movie. Now that lockdown is starting to ease, I look forward to weekends out and about again!

What do you always carry with you?

You won’t catch me anywhere without my phone. I’m not quite sure if that is a good or bad thing, but my phone is pretty glued to me along with my facemask!

What would your last ever meal be?

Oooooh this is a hard one because I love food so much… I think for me my last ever meal would be a hugeee Chinese takeaway followed by a double chocolate fudge cake.

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

Try not to be too hard on yourself. I know it’s way easier said than done. But the last year has been such a tough one and for many of us, we may not be exactly where we planned to be. However, I believe everything happens for a reason and things always work out in the end!

Women’s health is misunderstood and overlooked, period. Whilst sex education may be becoming more inclusive and conversations less taboo, women and vulva owners are experiencing pain both in the bedroom and beyond and the impact is devastating.

Chronic sexual and vulval pain can fit into a whole host of diagnoses, but two of the most common and overlapping conditions include Vulvodynia and Vaginismus, which can affect people of all ages, backgrounds and sexualities. The nature of these conditions can be difficult to discuss and often mean people suffer in silence, but open conversation is the first step toward a society that prioritises women’s health and wellbeing and allows us to feel safe discussing these complex and sensitive issues.

2020 showed us all that health truly is wealth, and normalising these topics is a true priority in helping support vulva owners suffering physically and mentally with traditionally difficult to discuss conditions. Here’s to being the allies those in pain need.

What is Vulvodynia?

According to the NHS, Vulvodynia is a “persistent, unexplained pain in the vulva” with the main symptoms including burning, stinging, throbbing and stabbing pain. These sensations can be constantly present, or provoked during sexual intercourse or day-to-day activities such as sitting down for long periods of time or wearing tight clothing such as jeans. Vulvodynia is not contagious and has no relation to personal hygiene.

The cause of Vulvodynia is still relatively unknown and doctors, dermatologists and pelvic floor physiotherapists remain somewhat mystified by the precise causes of intense vulval pain. The NHS states these symptoms could be a result of previous surgery, childbirth, trapped nerves or a history of severe vaginal thrush, but in reality each case is different and oftentimes there appears no direct trigger, once again adding to the emotional weight sufferers can feel. 

Vulvodynia is a complex and difficult condition to live with, made even more so for those who suffer with this in combination with Vaginismus… 

What is Vaginismus?

Vaginismus is the body’s reaction to a perceived threat or anxiety, causing the vaginal muscles to involuntarily contract when penetration is attempted. This can occur during sexual intercourse, when attempting to use a tampon or even simply when the surrounding pelvic areas are touched. Similarly to Vulvodoynia, there are normally no physical abnormalities present during a pelvic exam, however this does not make the symptoms any less difficult to manage. Vaginismus can be present throughout an individual’s life meaning penetration has never been achieved, or it can happen after a trauma or difficult event as the body’s coping mechanism. 

Life with Vulvodynia and pain management…

Typical treatment for Vulvodynia includes oral medication prescribed in an attempt to manage symptoms, namely Amitriptyline, Nortriptyline (both antidepressants), Gabapentin (an anti-epileptic drug that can be used for pain) or Pregabalin.  Low doses of these medications are the longstanding go-to for chronic pain treatment, however their effectiveness varies vastly from individual to individual, and many of these drugs have side effects that can also become difficult to manage and interrupt daily life. 

Pelvic floor physical therapy is also often recommended as a non-invasive, natural approach to managing pain and releasing tension in the pelvic floor.. Women’s health physiotherapists possess a wealth of knowledge about these conditions in comparison to general practitioners, and seeking out this treatment route can help people emotionally in feeling understood, listened to and believed. 

Managing vulval pain can be made easier with some lifestyle adjustments too, including wearing loose, cotton underwear, using unscented products to wash with, avoiding tight clothing like jeans and applying numbing creams such as Lidocaine before exercise or intercourse. This advice is widely accepted and promoted by doctors, however some argue that it normalises the idea that vulval pain is something sufferers must manage and not be able to cure- an idea that members of the mind-body chronic pain community such as Nicole Sachs would widely dispute. Her podcast ‘The Cure For Chronic Pain’ is a great resource for learning more about this. 

Life with Vaginismus and pain management…

Treatment for Vaginismus can overlap with that of Vulvodynia when it comes to mindfulness, however the emphasis here is creating positive associations with penetration that allow the mind and body to relax and limit the tensing of pelvic and vaginal muscles. Vaginal dilators- tube-shaped devices used to stretch the vagina- are one of the first steps often recommended by doctors as they range in size from small (around the size of a finger) to much larger, allowing for manageable progress to be made in insertion.

This can be done alone or with a partner and aims to reduce anxiety and pain upon penetration. In combination with this, mindfulness and stress reduction techniques are encouraged, in addition to CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or psychosexual therapy to manage the emotional stress this condition can place on an individual or a relationship. 

Mind-body work and its potential role in healing…

The Western medical model often leans towards pain management drugs and antidepressants to manage vulvar and vaginal pain, however the lack of research and true understanding of these conditions mean it is debated as to the effectiveness of these methods. For some, medication is absolutely necessary to manage day-to-day living and allow for an active lifestyle, however in many cases these drugs offer temporary solutions that mask the pain as opposed to getting to the root of the problem. The journey one takes in healing and living with these conditions is an extremely personal one, but increased conversation about mindfulness, stress reduction and the mind-body connection online and from women’s health specialists and doctors shows major potential for more holistic approaches. 

Books such as The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk discuss the impact of psychological trauma and stress on the body and the ways in which emotional distress can cause physical symptoms and pain. Symptoms of vulvar and vaginal conditions and the intensity of pain that come with them are no less valid because they do not have a physical source, and research now supports the theory that emotional trauma can in fact cause a change in the brain that result in a heightened fight or flight system that sets off pain unnecessarily.  John Sarno was one such pioneer of this theory and his work in chronic back pain has changed the course of treating and healing those in chronic pain in all areas of the body.

We spoke to one anonymous Vulvodynia sufferer who has been battling vulval pain symptoms for 10 years and had tried everything before discovering mind-body work- “pills, lotions, potions, an operation, PT, acupuncture. You name it, I probably tried it.”

About 18 months ago I was at my wit’s end with it and didn’t think I could carry on. I was in pain all the time, living in maxi dresses/skirts with no underwear and constantly standing up or lying down. My relationship was dying and I didn’t do any intimacy at all. Two years of EMDR therapy, 18 months of engaging in mind-body work and I recently wore jeggings for the first time in 10 years!

I also can’t remember the last time I had more than a little bit of discomfort down there, whereas for 9+years it was nearly all the time. I feel like I’m getting my old life back. I sit down all day, have taken up new hobbies and am tentatively starting to get back into intimacy. This work literally saved my life.

Anonymous

The methods used to treat chronic pain conditions are hugely personal, but the ever changing evidence and anecdotes that allow sufferers to make informed choices about their bodies is only ever a positive. 

Where to find support, resources and information online?

Although these topics still remain difficult to discuss for many, social media has come through once again (Instagram we heart you) and is the home to endless educational resources, individual experiences of sufferers and communities of supportive individuals looking to help one another in their healing journeys. Below, we’ve listed some of our favourite women’s health Instagram accounts opening the discussion around Vulvodynia, Vaginismus and the other pelvic pain issues women and vulva owners face, and encourage you to give them a follow to support in your own journey or that of someone you love. 

thevhive | thepelvicwarrior | the.happy.pelvis | wellbeing.by.penny | queensofeve | Myvitalside  | julieobriencoaching

Tumbling out of bed has never looked so good! If you’ve also been trying to style out your ‘not so cute’ pyjamas for a trip to the corner shop over the past 14 months then you’re in the right place because sleepwear for daywear is IN. Comfy, unique, practical and on-trend, pushing the style limits to the max and rocking the two-piece you would usually reserve for after your evening bath is a 2021 trend we can absolutely get behind. But don’t be fooled, we’re not suggesting you whip out your fluffy Disney PJs at any opportunity, oh no, this trend focuses on smarter, more structured sets and luxurious materials and textures to really elevate your comfort and make it suitable for the outside world. Our lifestyles have changed dramatically in the past year, and with that has been changes in trends too, including the bridging of inside and outside clothes and perceived dress code dos and don’ts.

Brands such as Sleeper and Kitri Studio have been nailing the structured full length two piece (plus who doesn’t want feathers attached to their look?!) for a while now, and the high street is following suit with a selection of posh pjs that are most definitely suitable for outside the bedroom.

The key here is the remainder of your look, as although your pyjamas will certainly be doing the talking, the focus on balancing the rest of your ‘fit is make or break. Add a chic bag, simple jewellery, statement or more formal footwear and boom, you’ve gone from bedroom to boardroom in an instant.

Danielle

I feel like if you’re going to wear sleepwear as daywear you have to go big with the rest of your look. I love this silky spot set from H&M, I could imagine it being so comfortable for an event or even a day at work tbh! I’d wear it with these gorgeous sage green accessories from Charles Kieth (the best for expensive looking accs) chunky gold jewellery and a slicked-back bun. Obviously chuck on some chic sunglasses for a real “Do not f**k with me” vibe.

*H&M, Patterned blouse, £19.99 

*H&M, Patterned trousers, £19.99 

*Charles & Keith, See-Through Sculptural Heel Sandals, £49 

*Charles & Keith, Turn-Lock Chain Handle Bag, £59 

*Daisy Jewellery, Estée Lalonde Flow Maxi Hoops 18ct Gold Plate, £125 

Darcey

I am LOVING this trend. Pyjamas outside? What a time to be alive. I thought I’d want to avoid this kind of trend after a year of loungewear, but nope this is super stylish. I love this striped set from ASOS, paired with a white or black tee, some white trainers and sporty socks you are good to go!

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN Curve oversized cotton poplin shirt co-ord in blue stripe, £22 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN Curve oversized cotton poplin boxer short co-ord in blue stripe, £15 

*ASOS, Pull&Bear 2 pack racer vest in black and white, £7.99 

*ASOS, Nike Training 3 pack ankle socks in white, £10.95 

*Office, Nike Air Force 1 07 Trainers White, £89.99 

Holly

I am confused about this trend. I can’t say I’ve ever thought about wearing sleepwear out of the house apart from a late-night McDonalds drive-thru. But you know I wouldn’t be opposed to being in my jammies all day. I’d probably opt for some kind of co-ord set, with a black top underneath and black accessories and hope people don’t think I’ve literally just got out of bed.

*John Lewis, John Lewis & Partners Lucia Yarn Dye Stripe Cotton Pyjama Set, Light Pink, £39 

*Marks and Spencer, Cotton Funnel Neck Fitted Long Sleeve Top, £9.50 

Accessorize, Stone and coin layered necklace, £12 

*Dr Martens, VOSS II LEATHER STRAP SANDALS, £89 

Lareese

I feel like most of my outfits resemble some kind of PJs anyway so it would appear I’m an accidental fan of sleepwear as daywear. Satin dresses that look like nighties, linen shorts that look like pyjama sets, house shoes that look like a pair of glorified slippers, I’m here for the in a big way.

*H&M, Pyjama top and shorts, £19.99 

*H&M, Cotton shorts, £17.99 

Zara, GINGHAM SKORT, £25.99 

Zara, PRINTED SATIN DRESS, £25.99 

*Mango, Quilted cotton shoes, £19.99 

Charlotte

Comfort is ALWAYS a priority for me so this trend is right up my street. I’ve always wanted something from the brand Sleeper and these feather-trimmed PJs are just too good to wear exclusively at home. They’re definitely a spenny pick buttttt a classic in my opinion! I don’t own any silky PJs (I’m normally more of a fluffy Primark gal myself) but these sage ones from ASOS are so chic- I need!

*Net-A-Porter, SLEEPER Feather-trimmed crepe de chine pyjama set, £245 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN mix & match satin pyjama cami in sage, £12 

*ASOS, ASOS DESIGN satin midi pyjama slip with a high split and skinny straps in lilac, £28 

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Staycations don’t get more beautiful than the picturesque Lake District, fondly known as The Lakes. With its huge bodies of water, raw unspoilt fells and glorious jaw-on-the-floor views, you can see why Beatrix Potter left her London life behind in favour of a farmhouse retreat nestled in the rolling hills of Ambleside.

From rowing to hiking and – our personal favourite pastime – eating, there’s plenty to see and do in this wonderfully unique part of England, so grab your walking boots and get ready to live out your Folklore dreams, here’s a handful of top tier must dos in Cumbria and the Lake District.

Lake Windermere

It wouldn’t be a trip to the Lake District without a visit to Lake Windermere – the largest natural lake in England and the perfect place to cry (no, you’re obsessed with Taylor Swift). If we’re talking open-air tourism, Windermere has in spades. Lake cruises, pretty cafes, views of fells, you name it. Take to the water and discover what life on the lakes all about.

📍Lake District National Park

Visit Beatrix Potter’s former home

Here’s your chance to visit one of the most famous wisteria-clad cottages on Instagram. The charming 17th century home of children’s author Beatrix Potter inspired many of her much-loved tales – you can spot the rhubarb patch where Jemima Puddle-Duck hid her eggs, roam the garden where Tom Kitten played with his sisters and discover the doll’s house that featured in The Tale of Two Bad Mice.

Beatrix Potter bought the house in 1905 with the royalties from Peter Rabbit and when she died, left the National Trust strict instructions to open her home to the public. To this day, the house has retained its nostalgic cottagecore charm, so much so it’s almost as if the woman herself has just popped out for a walk.

If you fancy exploring Beatrix’s stomping ground a little while longer, you can actually stay here too. Book us in asap.

📍National Trust, Hill Top, Near Sawrey, Ambleside, LA22 0LF

Rest your head at The Boathouse at Knotts End

Escape the hoi polloi in this romantic boathouse getaway, perched above the western shores of Ullswater. With no Wifi or signal, it’s the perfect spot to unplug, do a spot of bird-watching from the balcony, go wild swimming, play board games and explore the lake on your very own rowing boat. Whether you want a cosy hideaway in the winter, or a dreamy summer waterside stay, this romantic retreat will be a welcome place to rest your head all year round. Mentally, our out of office is already on.

📍Duke of Portland Boathouse, Pooley Bridge, CA10 2NN

Pig out at The Drunken Duck Inn

An absolute must if you’re in The Lakes. From crab crumpets to venison suet pudding and pork belly risotto, this old Lakeland inn knows a thing or two about how to refuel after a day on the fells. Wash down your gastropub grub with a beer brewed right on the premises.

📍The Drunken Duck Inn, Barngates, Ambleside, LA22 0NG

Explore Rydal Mount & Gardens

Located in the picturesque village of Rydal between Ambleside and Grasmere, the historic 16th century cottage was home to one of the world’s most celebrated poets, William Wordsworth and his family from 1813 until his death in 1850.

Although his Cockermouth residence is pegged as the place to see, he wrote many of his famous poems in his writing hut in the gardens at Rydal Mount, including the Prelude and The Daffodils so it’s worth a visit. When you see the beautiful, terraced gardens and views of Lake Windermere, it’s easy to understand why this bucolic setting inspired much of his work. A host of golden daffs, indeed!

For literature lovers, Dove Cottage (another of Wordsworth’s humble abodes) near the village of Grasmere is also well worth a visit.

📍Rydal Mount, Rydal, Ambleside, LA22 9LU

Eat the world’s best gingerbread at Grasmere Gingerbread Shop

This tiny Lakeland shop in an old 1630s school sells award-winning rum butter, fudge, mint cake and of course, their world-famous gingerbread. In 1854, a Victorian cook named Sarah Nelson invented a unique sweet and spicy recipe, wrapped it in parchment paper and sold it to villagers from a tree stump outside her front door. Over a hundred and sixty years later and her sweet treat is still baked fresh every day to her original, hand-written (and closely guarded) recipe inside her former home, now The Grasmere Gingerbread Shop.

📍Church Cottage, Grasmere, Ambleside, LA22 9SW

Travel back in time at the Ravenglass & Eskdale Steam Railway

Is there anything more charming than a steam train chugging and puffing along? Step back in time and catch a glimpse of life from a bygone age with a scenic journey aboard one of Cumbria’s heritage railways.

The Ravenglass & Eskdale railway is one of the oldest and longest narrow gauge railways in England, known amongst locals as La’al Ratty, meaning “little railway” in old Cumbrian dialect. The line is seven miles long, with a journey time of 40 minutes each way offering stunning views over the estuaries.

📍 Railway Station, Ravenglass, CA18 1SW

Take a hike, obviously

You can’t visit the Lake District and not climb a fell. For beginners, weary legs or little legs, Buttermere is one of the Lake District’s most celebrated lakes, framed by gorgeous mountainous landscape and the turquoise waters of the valley. Enjoy a four mile walk around the circumference, soaking up the rugged peaks and the raw beauty of the fells.

For a bucket list hike, try Scafell Pike (978m), England’s highest mountain. It’s not for the fainthearted but you’ll be richly rewarded by views from the ‘roof of England’.

For something between the two, try the iconic Catbells fell for the perfect family-friendly trek with panoramic views of the national park’s mirror-like lakes and lush valleys.

📍Various starting points around the Lake District National Park

Grab a flat white & next-level waffles from Homeground

On the hunt for a decent cup of Joe and the breakfast of champs? Enter Homeground Coffee & Kitchen. Serving up their famous southern fried buttermilk turkey house waffles complete with streaky bacon, chipotle maple syrup and candied sprouts, you’ll be hard pressed to finder a better spot for brunch.

📍Main Rd, Windermere, LA23 1DX

Tuck into a meal at L’Enclume

Dubbed one of the best restaurants in the world and the only 2 Michelin star in the northwest of England, dining out at Simon Rogan’s iconic eaterie is a real treat for any food lover… if you can get a table. Boasting superlative produce straight from the restaurant’s 12-acre farm, this is farm to fork dining at its best.

📍Cavdenish Street, Cartmel, Nr Grange over Sands, LA11 6QA

With some festivals making a comeback for 2021 (we’re still processing the news that Brighton Pride isn’t going ahead), we’re dedicating this edition of Snog, Marry, avoid to tent life, live music (remember that?) and good vibes.

These days there’s a festival for everyone, so whether you’re into food, art, theatre, beats, dogs or silent discos, there’s a field out there with your name on it.

Between us, we’ve had our fair share of festival highs and lows, be it soggy pants, trash line ups, sad Fyre Festival looking sandwiches and the utter jubilation of cry singing into a crowd whilst an identifiable friend, possibly even a bold stranger overcome with emotion, attempts to mount your shoulders.

From Benicassim to Parklife and beyond, here’s our line-up of the festivals we love and loathe.

Charlotte says…

Snog: Reading Festival.

Ahhhhh I feel emosh just thinking about this. Reading was the first weekend festival I ever went to and I have so many endlessly happy memories here. I’ve seen some amazing bands and artists here like Billie Eilish, Dua Lipa, Panic! At The Disco, Peace, The Wombats, Pale Waves and Sundara Karma, but most of all seeing The 1975 headline for the first time on the Friday night of 2019 was hands down something I’ll never forget.

Marry: ‘Bring It All Back’ Club nights.

Now I always enjoy pre-drinking more than a club and would much rather a cocktail evening where you can chat to your friends than dancing to some current chart music I don’t know, but let me tell you a throwback night is up there with some of the most fun I have EVER HAD. Bring It All Back tour the country with throwback and themed club night and oh my god, they are out of this world. I’ve been to two One Direction events and it’s essentially like a full-on concert full of fans and pure joy.

Avoid: Latitude

Okay so hear me out on this one. I really did love Latitude, the vibes, the variety of things to do, the attention to detail and the overall aesthetic, but I think it was just a little bit too indie for me. I mainly went to see The 1975 (of course) but I can’t help but feel like the festival has so much potential but the lineup is always a bit …. meh.

Holly says…

Snog: The Brighton Fringe Festival.

When it’s on, you honestly can’t get hold of me for the whole month of May. There’s such an array of talent, from comedy to music, plays – all sorts. Whatever you fancy, you’re bound to find it. Act’s perform in different events at venues all around the city and it’s an opportunity for people just starting out to perform alongside big timers.

Marry: Brighton Pride

This isn’t really a question is it? BRIGHTON PRIDE! There is no day in the whole year I love more. Everything about it makes my heart glow. The colours, the people, the music, the love in the air. Most pride events have my heart but there is just something special about Brighton.

Avoid: Benicàssim

There are not many live events of any kind I would avoid in all honesty. But if I had to choose, I probably wouldn’t return to Benicàssim. It was soo much fun and the atmosphere was incredible. But the music was indie/alternative and I’m a solid 90’s pop girl.

Danielle says…

Snog – Bestival

It pains me that Bestival is no longer running and deep down I hope some millennial who loves it as much as me and my mates decides to get a cash injection and put it back on. Although I’ve only attended twice Bestival fills me with the BEST memories of so many interesting tents and areas to keep exploring all weekend long. The first time I went it was on the Isle of White and an absolute ball-ache to get to on public transport but it was such a great place to have a festival.

Marry – Lovely Locals

So this is a bit of a cheat answer but my absolute favourite festivals are always small and local. There’s one close to where I grew up called Marvellous which is a tribute festival so you can see the likes of Ted Sheeran, Adele again, Queen, T-Rextacy, Fleetwood Back, I could go on and on! It’s all a bit of a laugh and there’s only one stage but it’s just such a great day out and so easy to attend with loads of local friends.

Avoid – Glastonbury

Don’t @ me. I’ve said what I’ve said. After hearing so many friends come back from Glasto say it was AMAZING and they were so glad they went and they can’t wait to go again I still just can’t get on board.

Darcey says…

Snog: Benicàssim

Loved this festival so much I went two years in a row when I was 18/19, the best part is that it was a holiday and a festival wrapped in one which made it really cost-effective for a young adult working part-time. I found there was a really good mix of music, so there was something for everyone.

Marry: Parklife

I cannot begin to explain how much I enjoyed Parklife, firstly I love Manchester, so getting to spend some time there before the festival was really fun. The festival is so organised, it was really clean too which is pretty rare, even the toilets stayed fairly clean even up until closing.

Avoid: Wireless

I mean… It should have been so good with who was performing but it just fell really flat. I think being in London, getting there and back is such a chore as the tube is packed full of people all going in the same direction. The food options and just general stands were just not that exciting either, which doesn’t matter that much I suppose but I feel day festivals need to have good food because you are there all day. Also, it would have been good if they had some kind of extra entertainment because a lot of things seemed to go wrong with the lineup timings, on the Sunday there was no music except for a DJ (bless this poor guy trying to entertain an angry crowd ha) for about 6 hours? Because Nicki Minaj was running late and David Guetta couldn’t start earlier. It was all just a bit meh.

Lareese says…

This snog marry avoid is truly wasted on me because I’m really not your average festival-goer, well not in the traditional muddy field and wrist band sense, anyway. Alas, I shall do my best to come up with three events I would peck, wed and do just about anything to get out of attending.

Snog: Brighton Food Festival

Marry: Dogstival.

I won’t stand for poo-on-poo crimes and washing my fanny with a baby wipe for three days straight but a festival dedicated to celebrating dogs? Yes, yes, I am infinitely available. The calendar is wide open. I’ve never been to this one based in the New Forest (probably because I don’t actually have a dog) but that won’t stop me from wanting to snap someone’s hand off for a ticket.

Avoid: Camping Festivals

Although jeans and a nice top is a pretty fail-safe go-to, sometimes finding the perfect outfit combination requires a little too much concentration when you’re running out the door and an espresso martini is calling your name. Enter: the humble co-ord. A perfect two piece, a pre mixed cocktail if you will, the one you can always rely on when time is short and the style stakes are high. Whether it’s a trip to big Tesco (a 10/10 day out) or a bottomless brunch with the girls, there are co-ords from dressed down to dazzling that fit every occasion. 

Which two piece do you have your eye on?

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If you could eat / drink cottagecore, this is what it would taste like. Edible flowers have been used in cooking for thousands of years, not only for their visual beauty but for their health benefits and healing properties, too.

We’ve always believed in flower power but somehow daisies on toast just hits different. Good different. From rose petal bark to lavender biscuits, earl grey desserts sprinkled with floral confetti and frozen flower art, make your afternoon teas and your garden tipples bloom with these floral-themed recipes.

Goat’s Cheese Rolls

Here’s one for the savoury fans. Transform your afternoon tea or your cheeseboard with these faff-free bitesize botanicals. Simply mash up a soft cheese of your choice and work into rolls using your hands. Refrigerate for 10 minutes, spread out the edible flowers on a sheet of cling film and roll the cheese onto your flowers. Secure the cling film around the rolls and place back in the fridge to chill and firm for another 20 minutes. You can also use a mix of herbs and veggies, too.

Get the recipe here!

Pansy Topped Shortbread Cookies

Elevenses just got a botanical glow up. This recipe requires pressing your flowers between parchment or waxed paper and placing them on top of the shortbread cookies when they’re fresh from the oven. The heat from the cookies is enough to help the petals bond to the surface, keeping your flowers looking (and tasting) their best. Sprinkle with sugar and tuck in.

Get the recipe here!

Edible Flower Ice Cubes

Looking for a quick and easy way to take your cocks and mocks from basic to bougie? Floral ice cubes are your friend. All you need is a bunch of edible flowers, an ice cube tray and water (plus a boujie bev of your choice). If you want to go all out Kris Jenner party planner vibes, get a novelty ice cube tray/silicone mould too – love hearts, penguins, penises, take your pick.

Get the recipe here!

Flower Doughnuts

Now here’s a bouquet we can get on board with. These doughnuts make for a decadent dessert, perfect for a boozy garden party with your pals. Using a combination of white wine, jelly, sugar, gelatin and, Nigella’s favourite – a microwave – they’re easy to make and even easier to eat.

Get the recipe here!

Herb & Flower Pasta

Flowers and carbs are two of our favourite things so already, we’re off to a strong start. How will we ever return to penne when this Cottagecore carbs like this exist?

NB: you will need a pasta machine for this but let’s face it, you’ve always wanted one so now’s your chance.

Get the recipe here!

Edible Flower Lollipops

The local florist has got nothing on you. Whether you go for lavender, chamomile, pansies or rose petals, these fancy floral lollipops will make for a blooming lovely sweet treat come rain or shine.

Get the recipe here!

Rose Petal Chocolate Bark

Like a regency snack lifted straight from a Bridgerton set, these delightful chocolate bark bites covered in rose petal confetti will make you feel as happy (and as lucky) as the Duke’s spoon.

Get the recipe here!

Edible Flower Crepes

Introducing the brunch of champions – from here on out, we will never settle for an ordinary crepe ever again. If it doesn’t look like a lovingly planted flower bed, we don’t want it.

Get the recipe here!

Edible Flower Tea Popsicles

Like iced tea but better, the heatwave hits different when you’ve got these edible beauties in hand.

Get the recipe here!

Yogurt Sheet Cake

Girl goes to party, cake turns up in the same outfit. Afternoon tea doesn’t get much better than this 11/10 botanical bake.

Get the recipe here!

Blossom Butter

Your toast will never look bland and beige ever again with this next-level spread. Experiment with different herbs and edible flowers – the possibilities are endless.

Get the recipe here!

Earl Grey Pistachio Meringue Tower

Here’s a decadent tablescape tower your guests will be more than happy to climb. Great for parties and special occasions, this tumbling meringue peak studded with figs, flowers and earl-grey infused pistachios and drizzled in blueberry sauce is the ultimate summer showstopper.

Get the recipe here!

Lavender Shortbread

Mary Berry-approved lavender biscuits? Sign us up.

Get the recipe here! 

Carta da Musica Flatbread

These paper-thin flatbreads sprinkled with rosemary, crushed red pepper, baby greens, radishes, carrots and edible blooms are a beautiful twist on the Sardinian crispbread speciality, meaning “sheet music”. Cute!

Get the recipe here!

Flora & Juniper Cocktail

Picture this, you’re in a hammock. You’ve just woken up from a half an hour snooze in the sun and you’re seeking a little afternoon livener, something floral but not elderflower cordial and preferably gin-based. Enter the libation of dreams, made with hibiscus tea, rose water, cardamom syrup and lemon on a bed of gin. Lovely drop!

Get the recipe here!

Raw Berry Cheesecake

If no-bake botanical desserts are your thing, these pots of raw cheesecake heaven will be right up your street.

Get the recipe here!

Rose Water Panna Cotta Tartlets

Delicate and delicious rosewater biscuits complete with a fine crumb base and a creamy panna cotta filling. Are you dribbling? We’re dribbling.

Get the recipe here!

Vegan No-Bake Earl Grey Blueberry Tart

A fresh & floral vegan no-bake tart? Hold my drink.

Get the recipe here!

Pineapple and Passion Fruit Roulade

On a hot summer’s day, after you’re done with the barbeque, tuck into this tropical spongy delight. Garden therapy right there.

Get the recipe here!

Spring Nettle Pasta With Vegan Parmesan

Garlicy, pretty, plant-based, what more you could you want life? Garnished with violets and packed with cheesy flavour and marinated artichoke hearts, this is a pasta dish done right.

Get the recipe here!

First off, how are you and how is your 2021 going? 

Well it’s not been the greatest of years that’s for sure, but would I change it for the world? Absolutely not. I’ve faced challenge after challenge this year, I’ve fallen and failed a lot but as with anything in life it matters not that you fell but how quickly you get up off the mat. There have been days this year where that has been much tougher than others but I’ve found in sharing those experiences with the team and with those around me I’ve felt all the better for it. If this year has taught me anything it’s that you can never be too kind or too vulnerable. There will always be someone there to help break the fall, even if it’s a stranger in the park. 

Can you tell us about Azurina as a brand and what you stand for?

The Azurinaverse is a place where the world has been flipped upside down and women are the ones in charge. We’re creating a workplace that is not only commercially productive and successful but works for us as women trying to balance work, our other interests, passions & hobbies, friends and family with our own wellbeing. Anything is up for grabs as we review all that we’ve ever known and set about creating a workplace that works for us. 

How did the brand start and why? 

I cut my teeth in online retail at Boohoo. I started there as an E-commerce Assistant back from my Gap Year having read Law at Sheffield University and longing to work in Buying. In truth, I don’t think I even knew what an ecomm assistant did, I just knew I had to be in there and I’d make it work and I’d hustle my way to my dream job as a buyer. I was in the buying team within 6 months, I left 8 years later as the Head of Buying, helping to oversee a team of 84 people and millions a week in sales and with some serious experience under my belt. 

So just because of the person I am I guess it was inevitable that I would always want to go on and do this for myself, to take what I had learnt in the best training ground imaginable in terms of business success stories in the UK over the last 10 years and instead this time I get to shape not just the product but the whole company culture. I spotted a gap in the market of low-cost personalised accessories and I went after it as a side hustle because I just couldn’t risk leaving a great job for something that wasn’t guaranteed. So after a long bout of sickness and vowing to slow down from my crazy lifestyle, I launched a secret business with a team and an office…. whilst I was across town working in another. We consistently grew and so a year later I handed in my notice. 

When I look back I think I must have been absolutely mental! 😂 

Can you tell us about your spring/summer drop? 

Spring Summer for us is about showing you the start of what we’ve been brewing in our witches cauldron in 2020. We‘ll be soft-launching our sister brand Alunar Crystals, a brand born out of my sister (by choice and not by birth) Sophia’s love for pretty rocks and their incredible energy. Within that, we’ll also be launching homeware for both the home and for you. 

A lot of Azurina products can be personalised, why do you think personalisation means so much to people?

In a world where most high streets in Britain have become carbon copies of each other I think personalised products give our lovely customers the chance to feel like their item really belongs to them. It was until very recently an experience that was preserved just for those that could afford it and I’m proud that brands like Azurina have helped democratise that so every woman can get a bag made especially for her. As we think everyone not only has the desire but also deserves to feel unique. 

We think Azurina products make perfect gifts, can you pull out some of the best things to give to family or friends?

Well thank you, it’s always an honour when people spend their hard-earned money with us to gift their loved ones. The highest praise in my book. 

If I was gifting a sister and wanted to spend a little more, Our Munich Pouches are great. They come in three sizes, large, medium and pencil case. They’re ideal to put all your bag crap in one place and I often just grab that when I’m jumping in the car to pop to the shops or for a tea. You can buy the set or one size and kickstart someone’s Azurina collection.

We loved your Azurina Angel Investor initiative, how did it come about and why?

Micro-financing small business is something I’ve been interested and involved in for a long time but until now I’ve done it through a great charity called Lend With Care who connect you with small business owners across the globe. I love that I can see the immediate impact of the loans, in the businesses grown, the jobs created and the kids supported.

Then the penny dropped for me this year, that when you have your own business you can actually just do what you want (within reason of course 😂) and so we came up with the idea for me to invest in someone’s side hustle. The money is a gift, as is our time and support. It’s really just my way of paying it forward plus I get the chance to be involved in amazing businesses run by amazing women. For me, it’s a no brainier. I’m still wading through all our entries as I want to give them the time and energy they deserve so apologies to all the entrants for the delay! 

What is the process like for creating a brand-new product?

In truth, nothing I design is ever brand new. I’ve pulled inspo from a tear, from a vintage piece I’ve found in a bargain bin in Seoul, an iconic outfit from a movie or an everyday essential that just needs the perfect tweaks. I take inspiration from everywhere and pull them together to create beautiful things with functionality layered on top. Of course, I want a beautiful printed pleated pantsuit that is reminiscent of my Issey Miyake Pleats Please Japanese dreams but I want shapes that flatter my figure and subtly enhance my femininity rather than disguise it. I’m just hoping you all think like me, which given I’m a bit woo woo might be a bit of a stretch but fingers crossed. 

What are you currently working on?

So as I think you can probably tell it’s been a busy year of crafting our new product ranges and whilst those collections are taking shape we’re working on creating our Slab. The core values of the brand and what we stand for that won’t ever change. We’re also in the process of deciding what back to work looks like for us as a team and really nailing down the company culture and policies so that as we grow we don’t lose the essence of who we are. 

How do you see the brand changing now we can head out the house and socialise more?

We’re hoping so many of our lovely customers will be dusting off their Azurina faves from a year of enforced storage. We can’t wait to see all our bags back out in the wild again, enjoying themselves, as they should be! And our clothing launches are designed to gently take your hand and guide you out of your old loungewear into your PC (post-Covid) self. 

What does a Friday afternoon look like in the Azurina office? 

Well currently the team are still WFH the majority of the week and Friday is our day ‘off comms’ to get everything wrapped up for the week. We’re actually looking to implement an optional four-day working week so that the A-Team members who are side hustling, mostly as creatives, have the flexibility to fit it all in. So Thursday night is pub night for us and we hope the office always has a Friday afternoon vibe. Of course, building a business from the ground up can be stressful but we’re also all doing what we love so for me it should be fun every day. 

What are some of your highly anticipated trends for AW21? 

O gosh, the girls will tell you I’m so excited for all the trends bubbling through at the moment as there just seems to be so many. Nostalgia really seems to be the key theme inspired heavily by pop culture. More than anything I’m just seeing an explosion of colour. And head to toe colour at that. Whether it’s new neutrals or brights there is just so much emphasis on colour and I’m beyond excited.

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

Look after yourself first. As women, we seem to feel that putting our needs before others is selfish, that we must bend and mould ourselves around people without any personal boundaries. I mean I had no idea what a boundary even was until I was recommended a book by a friend on the subject last year, my mind was blown. I was allowed to say no to stuff without feeling guilty. I was allowed to prioritise myself and my happiness in all aspects of my life. And I’ve found that as we put ourselves and our own wellbeing first we can start showing up better for those around us and then the magic really happens.

The path to parenthood isn’t always plain sailing and for many couples and individuals who are unable to conceive for themselves, surrogacy makes their dreams of having a child possible.

Surrogacy is a type of pregnancy whereby a woman carries the child for someone else (the intended parent/s).

It’s legal in the UK but it’s important to note a surrogacy agreement is not legally-binding. The surrogate will remain the child’s legal mother until parenthood is transferred from the surrogate to the intended parent by way of a parental order.

There are two types of surrogacy available. Traditional or straight surrogacy is when a surrogate conceives with her own eggs and the intended father’s sperm (or sperm donor) and is therefore biologically related to the baby.

In host, full or gestational surrogacy, the egg is provided by the intended mother or an egg donor and transferred to the surrogate via IVF. The embryos are either made using both intended parent genetics or one intended parent plus donor eggs or donor sperm. There is therefore no genetic connection between the baby and the surrogate.

For male same-sex couples wishing to start a family, one of the fathers can use their sperm to fertilise the surrogate’s egg through artificial insemination, or they may choose an egg donor, fertilise the donated egg and have the embryo implanted in a gestational surrogate.

While surrogacy remains prohibited in the majority of Western Europe and four U.S. states, altruistic surrogacy – whereby no monetary compensation is offered to the surrogate, except for their reasonable expenses – is becoming increasingly more popular in the UK and other surrogate-friendly parts of the world.

In this interview, we spoke with both surrogates and intended parents about their personal journeys with surrogacy, from common misconceptions to things they wish they knew and the unique joy of making someone else’s dreams come true.

Laura

What made surrogacy the right path to parenthood for you?

What surrogacy path did you choose to go down and why?

Gestational/host surrogacy

What were your initial doubts, if any?

I was worried it was too big an ask to ask my sister-in-law to do this but actually, on a whole, there was very little doubt. It just seemed like the logical (and very lucky) option.

Do intended parents have to meet certain requirements?

This never came up for us. Perhaps handled differently because of my illness but we did have to go through counselling and many tests.

How much contact do surrogates and IP have?

We had a lot of contact, just as we would naturally because Jayne was family anyway, but I was conscious of not overly contacting her more than I would as I trusted every move she made.

What factors should an IP think about before going through surrogacy?

It’s a long process and initially, you think it will solve all your problems but it doesn’t always work and certainly not always the first time. We nearly gave up hope before getting pregnant with our last frozen embryo.

What are typical Intended Parent expenses?

We covered all of Jayne’s clothing, extra food/medical needs but in our case this was minimal. I think it can reach approx £20,000 for some people.

A lot of prospective intended parents may worry about how they can bond with their baby during pregnancy and immediately after birth, how did you find the emotional transfer experience and how would you describe your bond with your baby now?

My husband and I were in the delivery suite with my sister-in-law and her husband and it was the most wonderful day. We laughed, cried and I got to help deliver Penelope, being the first to bring her into the world – that was truly special. Both Jayne and I spent the night in the room with her and it didn’t feel strange at all – just lovely to be all together. She has never felt like anything but ours – we are so lucky, I know that.

What’s been the best thing about the surrogacy experience for you?

Gaining a beautiful daughter I would not have been able to have otherwise, first and foremost, but building a strong bond with my sister-in-law and being able to pass on advice to others who had never considered surrogacy before, and tell them our happy story, has been a real gift.

How do you plan to tell your child about their surrogacy story? Is this something agencies help prepare you for?

One thing you’d like to say to intended parents considering surrogacy…

It’s not the easiest journey but hopefully, it will have the most special result. Do it and good luck x

Emiliana

Tell us about your experience – what’s the screening process like and what requirements do surrogates have to meet?

My experience was more of a self-screening process (!) as I am close friends with the parents so I wasn’t applying to be a surrogate via an agency. The clinic of course made sure I was physically and mentally fit for the process by asking me questions both with Sophie (interviewed below) and Jack present and separately too. Previous pregnancy history, reasons for being a surrogate and checking I had considered the emotional side of the journey were aspects they asked me about. They also had a session with my husband James to make sure he understood the process and was happy to go ahead. 

What made you want to be a surrogate and is it something you’d always wanted to do?

Being a surrogate wasn’t something I had ever thought about until I saw my best friend experience severe fertility struggles. I don’t think I even knew it was legal in the UK until I started researching it for them. I knew my own pregnancy and birth experiences had been straight forward so I believed it was a really hopeful option for them. 

Before becoming a surrogate, did you have any reservations about it?

How much support and guidance did you receive from the agency, doctors, friends, family?

The reality is it’s not a ‘normal’ situation in the UK (yet!) but lots of people supported us unconditionally. A few others struggled with the concept, but really, that’s life and not everyone understands everything from your perspective and that’s ok. We just made sure we spent time with people who were 100% behind us. 

Medically we had incredible support from our midwife who happened to be my midwife from when I had my 2 children. She made sure Sophie and Jack felt included every step of the way and supported us to have a planned abdominal birth (even though I had home births with my babies) because she respected our decisions. That really made all of the difference to us all.

What kind of relationship did you have with the IP, how involved were they with the pregnancy journey?

We are the best of friends! So we were together pretty much every step of the way at appointments in person or via FaceTime as a minimum. I lead a fairly busy life bringing up my 2 young children and running a business and they really respected that. It was never intense or OTT as you might expect it to be in this situation, we really all just carried on as normal and enjoyed the milestones together.

How did you feel during the pregnancy and after the birth?

What’s the most challenging part of a surrogacy journey?

For me it was the many appointments and the logistics of having 2 young children at home and life continuing as normal for me. It was a challenge I knew was going to happen and I expected it, and I guess just the reality of committing to being a surrogate! But yes that was the most challenging part for all of us as a family.

And, the best part?

Giving my friends the gift of parenthood- seriously what is ever going to top that! The moment they had their baby in their arms was what it was all for. I just can’t describe that feeling of relief and pride for all of us as a little dream team.

What’s the most common misconception about being a surrogate?

That you’re going to want to keep the baby! Honestly, it’s the question I got asked the most about and it didn’t annoy me, it just reminded me how people don’t understand what it’s all about. 

What’s your advice for women who want to become a first-time surrogate? Anything you wish you knew?

Think about the impact it will have on your immediate family, not just you. They have to be behind you 100% of the way otherwise it could be a very stressful journey for you. Perhaps completing your own family first is something that might be important for some too.

Sophie

What made surrogacy the right path to parenthood for you?

What surrogacy path did you choose to go down and why?

We chose gestational surrogacy which used mine and my husband’s embryo which was then implanted into our surrogate Em. I was still able to produce eggs so this was the best scenario for our situation. 

What were your initial doubts, if any?

My initial doubts were how would my friend feel carrying my child, would she feel like the baby was hers and would I feel like the baby wasn’t mine because I hadn’t carried it. These doubts were very quickly squashed as we started going through the process but it’s important to allow yourself to have these doubts and work through them. 

Do intended parents (IP) have to meet certain requirements?

Not necessarily. However, clinics do require you to have special counselling to make sure that surrogacy is the right decision for you and that you have really thought it through. 

How does the process of finding a surrogate work and how long does it take to find a match?

How much contact do surrogates and IP have?

From our own experience of using a friend, she will be in ours and our baby’s life forever. Each situation is unique and it really does depend on what works for both IP’s and surrogates. Some develop very close bonds and others still have contact but not as often. 

What factors should an IP think about before going through surrogacy?

The process may not be easy at times. Do you have support around you? Financially are you prepared for the expenses? Think about what is important to you for the contract you will write between you and your surrogate. Make sure you understand the legalities of surrogacy in the UK and the process of the parental order. There is a lot of trust involved in the process so you have to be prepared to completely trust your surrogate. 

What are typical Intended Parent expenses?

In the UK you can only pay a surrogate reasonable expenses which can range from £0 to in excess of £20,000. The average being around £15,000. On top of this, you need to pay out for the IVF to create embryos and donor if you are using donor eggs or sperm. 

A lot of prospective intended parents may worry about how they can bond with their baby during pregnancy and immediately after birth, how did you find the emotional transfer experience and how would you describe your bond with your baby now?

To enable both myself and my husband to bond with our baby during the pregnancy we made sure we were at every midwife appointment and scan. We recorded ourselves reading stores so that Em could play our voices to the baby and also recorded a playlist of our favourite music. I made sure I felt him kick whenever the chance arose and we also found out the sex at 17 weeks which helped us visualise a real-life baby! This also helped us decorate his nursery and buy him bits, again helping us to bond. 

What’s been the best thing about the surrogacy experience for you?

Surrogacy gave us back our hope during a very difficult and dark time. Without the science of surrogacy and without a very special woman helping to grow our baby for nine months, then we wouldn’t be parents right now. It really is magical.

How did you / do you plan to tell your child about their surrogacy story? Is this something agencies help prepare you for?

I have printed a picture book explaining in basic terms that mummy’s tummy was broken and that special Auntie Em helped to grow our little boy and help us start a family. We intend to be very honest with him so he knows just how much he was wanted and how his story started. 

One thing you’d like to say to intended parents considering surrogacy…

Don’t be afraid. It’s a scary concept but thats only because it isn’t the ’norm’ in this country. I was worried I wouldn’t feel like a mother because I hadn’t carried my child but that really couldn’t be further from reality. Our path to parenthood may have been a slightly different one but that just makes it that little bit more special!

Ariel

Tell us about your experience – what’s the screening process like and what requirements do surrogates have to meet?

The screening process for a surrogate is extensive. There is a number of criteria to be met in order to qualify including age restrictions, BMI restrictions, already having a child, being financially stable, non-smoker/drug user, no criminal history, and having an adequate support system. It is also recommended that a surrogate complete her own family before becoming a surrogate. This is due to a slightly increased risks of complications in an IVF pregnancy and the chance of losing her own fertility. Once a surrogate meets the basic requirements, she will have to undergo a medical and psychological screening. This includes a review of previous birth records, ultrasounds, bloodwork, drug tests, and a meeting with a psychologist. As well, if the surrogate is partnered, that person would also be required to have bloodwork, drug tests, and infectious disease screening. Both parties may also be required to have a background check or home study done. Once the surrogate is medically and psychologically cleared, they would be able to proceed. 

What made you want to be a surrogate and is it something you’d always wanted to do?

Initially, when I began my surrogacy journey, I just wanted to help someone. It had taken me a year to become pregnant with my own daughter and we had just begun basic fertility testing when I found out I had a partial blockage in my fallopian tube. It was cleared and I was able to become pregnant but the thought of potentially requiring fertility treatments made me very much aware that not everyone is able to get pregnant so easily. and some couples simply require the use of a surrogate to carry their embryos and I knew I wanted to help someone become a parent. 

Before becoming a surrogate, did you have any reservations about it?

I wouldn’t say I had any reservations exactly, I just didn’t know a lot about it. If I am being honest, I did not do as much research in the beginning as I would suggest other people do. I just jumped right in and learned as I went. If I had the chance to go back, it may have been wise to learn a bit more about the process first. I truly did feel like surrogacy was something I was meant to do and now after multiple journey’s, I have no regrets for choosing to carry my Intended Parent’s children for them. 

How much support and guidance did you receive from the agency, doctors, friends, family?

Having support as a surrogate is extremely important. I was so thankful that my partner and the rest of my family was very supportive in the beginning and continue to be supportive through each pregnancy. 

I am happy to see that many agencies are now employing or partnering with Social Workers and Psychotherapists to provide these services and making them more accessible for those going through surrogacy. 

How does it feel when you hear the news that you have been matched with intended parents?

I have often talked about the matching process as feeling like online dating a bit. When you are with an agency, they will take all of the criteria that the surrogate and Intended Parents want and work hard to match people together that have similar goals, values and ideas about the type of journey they would like to have. This includes views on termination, contact after birth, dietary or religious beliefs and proximity to each other. 

Besides some of the legal matching points, it’s also important that they have a genuine connection to each other as well if that is what they want. It is a really exciting process! I had an instant connection with all of the Intended Parents I have carried for and had a feeling like I had known them my whole life. I knew right away that we were meant to be matched.

What kind of relationship did you have with the IP, how involved were they with the pregnancy journey?

For me personally, I always had a close relationship with the parents before and during the pregnancy. We would visit when we could, call, video chat and text. They were always involved in the pregnancy and were part of appointments and ultrasounds. My most recent pregnancy was a little bit different because of Covid and the many restrictions in place. The Intended Parents were not able to attend a single ultrasound for their own baby due to the one person policy. They were not even allowed to attend the embryo transfer. In some surrogate cases during Covid, the parents were not even permitted at the birth! Thankfully in my case, our hospital was very accommodating to allow both parents to be there. 

I am still in contact with all of the Intended Parents I have carried for and have flown to California to visit one of the families when their son was 8 months old. The other family lives relatively local to me so we get to visit when we can. It’s so amazing to see these families I had a small part in creating. 

How did you feel during the pregnancy and after the birth?

I have enjoyed all of my surrogate pregnancies so much. Of course, not every moment is glamorous and like anyone else, I experience the nausea and the fatigue and the weight gain but I generally enjoy pregnancy. Many people assume that a surrogate gets attached to the baby they carry and I would say there is a small part of that but not a motherly attachment exactly. I would describe it more as being a loving nanny or the cool aunt. I care about the babies I carry and I love to feel baby kicks and hiccups but I never have any desire to take them home and be their Mother. 

What’s the most challenging part of a surrogacy journey?

I tell everyone who is interested in surrogacy to do a lot of research because it is a commitment and they should be prepared to dedicate certain parts of their life to the process. It may take 2-3 years from matching until there is a birth. In that time the surrogate will have many trips to the clinic for monitoring appointments and treatments. For myself, the fertility clinic was 2 hours away and there were times I had to be there every couple of days leading up to the embryo transfer. If a transfer doesn’t work or the couple is out of embryos, there is a waiting period for that to happen too. 

Most recently, due to Covid there has been clinic closures, delay of treatment or cancelled cycles which can extend the waiting time as well. 

Besides just the waiting and the time commitment, there is a lot of hormone medications including intramuscular and subcutaneous injections that the surrogate will be required to administer herself. There may be times where a surrogate is on and off medications if a transfer fails and they may go on and off birth control in order to regulate a cycle. The yo-yo of hormone medication can be a lot and it’s part of the reason having a support system is important to help with the kids and the house and managing the many commitments. 

And, the best part?

What’s the most common misconception about being a surrogate?

There are two big misconceptions that get brought up. The first being that many people assume that a surrogate is getting paid a very large sum of money. That is simply not the case. I am from Canada and surrogates cannot be paid here, only reimbursed pregnancy expenses with a receipt up to around 25,000 dollars for the entire pregnancy. This includes painstakingly tracking and recording every expense and keeping over a years worth of receipts to submit. Unfortunately, our laws around surrogacy are not reflective of the current climate of assisted reproduction and are quite outdated. There is currently a Public Bill, Bill S-216, with the Senate to decriminalize paid surrogacy in Canada which would allow surrogates to be compensated that same 25,000 dollars but with the autonomy to choose what they use that money for. 

Even in countries that allow paid surrogacy like the US, the compensation amount is typically around 35-45 thousand for the entire pregnancy which takes into account the pregnancy expenses but also the time commitment and sacrifice the surrogate and their family take on to help someone become parents. 

The second misconception is that the surrogate will want to keep the baby. Modern surrogacy is primarily gestational surrogacy meaning that the carrier is not genetically linked to the baby. As well, a surrogacy agreement is preplanned and requires the use of IVF to become pregnant. It is very different from a planned adoption or traditional surrogacy that would use the surrogates own eggs. As well, surrogates go through a psychological evaluation to assure they understand the process and are fully informed before ever getting pregnant. 

Legally speaking, in most places where surrogacy is legal, the parents are the full and legal guardians of the baby and the surrogate would have no rights to the baby even if she wanted to. It is important to note that not every state recognizes surrogacy and if there is no contract, no one is protected. Many stories of surrogates trying to keep a baby are due to a lack of contract, being in a non-surrogate friendly state or an arrangement that is not actually surrogacy. There are thousands and thousands of successful surrogacy stories where the carrier has no desire to keep the baby and is thrilled for them to finally go home to their parents. 

What’s your advice for women who want to become a first-time surrogate? Anything you wish you knew?

My best advice is to just research as much as possible. There are many Facebook groups to get information about surrogacy and learn from other people who have been in the community a long time. I also recommend people review the surrogacy guidelines outlined by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and familiarize themselves with IVF, the procedures, the acronyms in the fertility world and what all goes into the process. 

I began documenting my surrogate journey on Instagram @carried.with.love because I think it is important for people to see the time commitment, the good days, the bad days, the failures and the successes. I didn’t know anyone who had been a surrogate when I started and I would have loved to follow a journey and understand more about it before starting. 

I also think it’s a good idea for people to follow those in the fertility community. Those who are trying to get pregnant, using assisted reproduction for themselves or using surrogates. Once you can appreciate the long road Intended Parents have been on to grow their family, it gives the surrogate so much more perspective on why surrogacy is so important. 

I hope that by me sharing my story and working as a Fertility Therapist in the community, I can help decrease the stigma around surrogacy and normalize the process. I also hope to advocate for more inclusive laws and regulations around alternative routes to parenthood so no one is left out of the conversation.