Vibrators have enjoyed quite the glow up recently and for that we say AMEN.
Between the thumping bedside table rabbits and medieval looking bullets, it was was slim pickings back there for a while but now, our sex toys are finally as beautiful as they are effective. We can only hope their rumbling vibrations set off the machines at the airport because the world needs to see how pretty pleasure can be.
Step aside ears and ammunition, for the self-pleasure menu has evolved into an all you can eat buffet of slick and silent greatness with the likes of The Firefighter to The French Lover (it has a tongue) coming through with all the battery life, outrageous good looks and clitoral chivalry we need from our sex toys.
If this is the first you’re hearing of this iconic duo, you’re about to have the meet-cute of your life. They’re two proud members of the Smile Makers Collective and trust us when we say they are men of their word.
From oral sex simulators to vulva vibrators, there’s a toy for every kind of pleasure in the Smile Makers squad, so naturally we had to try them out because we take our jobs very seriously and what good is a section of the website dedicated to We Tried reviews if we’re not going to road test sex toys, for crying out loud.
If you came here for a good time and first hand (ahem) write-ups of what is essentially the opening chapter of a collection of masturbation memoirs, you’ve landed in the right spot. Carry on reading to find out what happened when six women were let loose with a bunch of vibrators…
The French Lover
If there’s one thing Smile Makers do very well, it’s tearing up trash taboos around self-pleasure, one vibrator at a time. All their products are pretty, playful, approachable (sorry, just over here making them sound like a soppy ol’ Labrador) and aesthetically superior, making masturbation something to celebrate and embrace on the daily.
Let’s just say he had me at bonjour.
After taking the quiz to figure out which toy was most compatible for me, I was coupled up with The French Lover and let’s just say he had me at bonjour. A sex toy with a tongue? I don’t care that the world has re-opened. Pub gardens can wait, I’m good here. Staying in, just me and my lady garden.
The French Lover has a sensual touch to mimic oral sex so if you’re not keen on vigorous, heavy-handed clit stimulation, you guys will hit it off right away. The vibrator is made of silicone with a soft top which, if you’re used to the targeted vibrations of a bullet for example, might take you by surprise but not necessarily in a bad way.
You can also use in tandem with an internal vibrator if, like me, you like the best of both worlds.
The best way I can describe the texture of the ‘tongue’ so to speak, is like one those battery-operated portable fans with the foam blades. The speed and pulsation modes enable you to tailor the pressure should you want a firmer smooch but clit-teasing is really The French Lover’s speciality. You can also use in tandem with an internal vibrator if, like me, you like the best of both worlds. Great for coupled sex and solo adventures alike, anyone would be blessed to have this in their life. It’s a right French fancy.
Top tip: go to town with the lube for a more realistic oral sex experience. Shop the French Lover here!
The Tennis Pro
Well if there’s ever a product I’ve looked forward to reviewing, this is it. I genuinely really enjoyed the whole process, from choosing the toy, to giving it a spin.
I did the quiz online to determine which one of the toys I wanted to try out. I tend to prefer penetrative sex and haven’t found my g-spot so the Tennis Pro was an obvious choice. It’s angled to target the g-spot and has different settings for how fast you want to vibrations.
The product comes with a great leaflet teaching you how to explore yourself and is really insightful. I was so excited to play a match with the Tennis Pro (hehe, see what I did) I was sure I was going to find my g-spot first time round. But after a few tries, no luck unfortunately.
Despite having not found my g-spot, it was still very enjoyable. And what a shame, I’ll have to keep trying.
I think the whole smile makers experience makes the idea of self pleasure less daunting and will definitely be purchasing from smile makers again.
I think the whole smile makers experience makes the idea of self pleasure less daunting and will definitely be purchasing from smile makers again. I always thought the idea of buying your friend a vibrator was weird but this is so pretty, I kind of understand it more now.
The packaging is discrete and I can say hands down this is the prettiest sex toy I’ve ever seen. Shop The Tennis Pro here.
The Firefighter
Hellooo Firefighter. I don’t know if this name is supposed to conjure up images of wet, wet, wet but my hopes were certainly high as this toy is unlike anything I’ve used before and its description definitely gets the pulse racing. Initially I have to say it took me a while to work out exactly the best position and pressure to apply as I’m normally a fan of clitoral stimulation exclusively and the focus this toy has on the labia too was a little different.
I really loved how many settings and rhythms there were whilst still being really quiet- maybe the quietest toy I own!
The toy has been designed to give some love to this area and create more intense, and potentially multiple orgasms. I enjoyed the vibration and pulsing here too but did still feel like the clitoris stimulation runs the show for me and this could have been more intense personally. Maybe it just takes some getting used to but I think I would have preferred the most intense vibration on the nose of the toy whereas it felt like it was mostly on the outer part which focuses on the labia.
Despite that, I really loved how many settings and rhythms there were and how each provided something a little different whilst still being really quiet- maybe the quietest toy I own! The material is SO silky smooth and really lovely to use against the skin too. I absolutely love the Smile Makers website and Instagram and how accessible their content is which makes the idea of trying something new feel exciting and not intimidating. The Firefighter lives on my bedside table and its pastel pink gorgeousness is something I’m more than happy to have out on display. We love to see it! Shop The Firefighter here.
The Billionaire
Where do I start, I was so excited to be reviewing a Smile Makers product, especially because I already owned the Firefighter which is a really, really good vibrator. What I particularly like about Smile Makers is they are super user friendly, fantastic for someones first sex toy as they aren’t intimidating at all. The packaging is super cute, the ethos behind the company is fabulous as well, I like that it’s all centred around the needs and desires of people with vulvas.
So I did the Smile Makers online quiz to determine what toy was best suited for me. I did want to try something out that offered clitoral and penetrative stimulation, so was pretty happy when I was recommended The Billionaire which does just that. The material is super smooth and feels really luxurious on the skin. This vibrator has some pretty intense vibration settings too, I was actually quite taken aback when I first turned it on ha!
I really wanted to find a toy which made me enjoy penetrative masturbation, but actually, I’ve come to the conclusion that the clitoris is where the sweet spot is for me and penetration can be left for sex.
After using the Firefighter for so long this was a nice change to experiment with something more clitoral focused and oh boy did it come through. I must admit I didn’t really use it for penetrative pleasure, I don’t particularly get that turned on by penetration when masturbating as I find penetration more pleasurable with another person. I really wanted to find a toy which made me enjoy penetrative masturbation, but actually, I’ve come to the conclusion that the clitoris is where the sweet spot is for me and penetration can be left for sex.
The power of this vibrator is INSANE. Like… I absolutely recommend it to anyone looking to buy a new vibrator. I have always struggled to hit climax with vibrators or any sex toys, it’s always felt good but I’ve never completely finished. Well… this, has changed the game. So 10/10 Smile Makers!
The French Lover
So, sex toy review didn’t think I’d ever be doing this for work but hey ho there we go! Even though this is anonymous I’m still feeling pretty vulnerable as I do genuinely want to share my experience with you and not just tell you about the speeds and features of my newly beloved French Lover.
When I first had a look at Smile Makers reinvented original collection I was definitely drawn to the Firefighter, I’m not sure why, I think the shape of it just looked like something that would fit nicely in the ol’ vulva and apply the majority of the pressure to the clitoris, however after taking their quick quiz to determine what would be right for me I ended up with The French Lover.
I believe this kind of hinged on how intense I liked my vibrations which I clicked ‘light’ but I wasn’t 100% sure on, as I didn’t know how severe I liked my vibes. The French Lover’s main aim is to mimic oral sex which is why it has a tongue-like shape to it. I can’t remember what I was expecting before trying out Frenchie, I don’t own a ton of sex toys but my most classically used is more like a hard shaft (lol) that I would mostly use on my clitoris, so I was excited to give something more gentle a try.
I always knew that there were lots of different pleasure points around the vulva but using this toy really helped me realise how great they can feel.
There are so many different places you can use the French Lover on to get a different sensation, I always knew that there were lots of different pleasure points around the vulva but using this toy really helped me realise how great they can feel. You get 4 different speeds with 2 pulsation modes so even though I was expecting the vibes to be light, the 4th speed is pretty intense! The tongue like top is not hard it’s kind of flappy which is great for fitting into different creases (lol again) however it can kind of unfurl itself and scrape but I think it’s just a case of getting used to it and how to move it around, having a lot of lubrication probably also helps to limit that.
What else can I say except I really enjoyed using this both on my own and with a partner and it definitely brought me some great orgasms. I actually think this is a really good starter toy if you’re looking to experiment or if you’re a seasoned pro looking for something quite light and casual. I haven’t managed to try this one in the bath but I think it would work really well in there too!
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