For August’s book club, we had the pleasure of reading Olive, the hotly-anticipated novel by Sunday Times Author, Journalist & Podcaster, Emma Gannon.

After several best-selling non-fiction books Ctr, Alt, Delete, The Multi-Hyphen Method and The Multi-Hyphen Life, Olive is Gannon’s fiction debut.

The book centres around the titular, Olive, a child-free by choice protagonist. Novel idea, huh! It shouldn’t be the case but it is and Gannon definitely spotted a gap in the market to have this necessary & nuanced conversation.

Despite this being an underlying theme of the book, it doesn’t just speak to the women who don’t want to have children. Olive is a warm and honest story that has female friendship at its core. It explores the ebb and flow of female friendship as we age and how it evolves when we’re catapulted into making life changing decisions about our careers, motherhood and marriage.

OLIVE is many things.
Independent.
Adrift.
Anxious.
Loyal.
Kind.
She knows her own mind.
And it’s ok that she’s still figuring it all out, navigating her world without a compass. But life comes with expectations, there are choices to be made and – sometimes – stereotypes to fulfil. So when her best friends’ lives branch away towards marriage and motherhood, leaving the path they’ve always followed together, she starts to question her choices – because life according to Olive looks a little bit different.

Find out how the team got on with this Gannon gem!

Darcey

I absolutely LOVED reading Olive. I straight away felt so connected with the main character Olive, I felt a lot of compassion for her as she navigated her recent breakup and the disconnect she felt from her close friends who were either pregnant, had children or were trying for a child. This book really delves into the social construct that all women are expected to want children and if they don’t, something must be wrong with them or they will ultimately change their mind. As a woman who isn’t particularly maternal and has also never really felt the “buzz” of starting a family one day like some of my friends have since the age of 16, I could really see myself in Olive. This book really explores the issues women face, whether they want children or not, whether they can have children or not. Olive is so honest and real, showing how friendships can begin to break down when everyone grows up and starts wanting different things. How navigating adult life can be so difficult, especially when you aren’t hitting the ‘expected milestones’, which can make someone feel so isolated. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and absolutely loved the ending which gave a peek into Olive and her friend’s futures, would definitely recommend!

Rating: 4/5
Would you recommend?: Yes

Lareese

I flew through this in a matter of days. The exploration of messy and complicated female friendship is nuanced and honest, and I found that SO refreshing to read. I love that Olive, a woman in her 30s and fresh out of a nine-year relationship, is very much a character who’s still figuring life out and unapologetic about it, even if it does leave her feeling out the loop sometimes. Her friends Bea, Isla and Cec are in very different places, navigating motherhood in all its myriad forms, whilst Olive doesn’t want to have children (and no it’s not just a ‘phase’). The pressure to get married, have children and complete all those milestones society tells us we, as women, have to tick off to be happy comes under examination in this novel and Emma Gannon handles the topic with aplomb. Women can feel fulfilment and love in so many different ways, and what we choose to do with our ovaries should never be up for debate. I’ve no doubt Olive has given countless women a voice to be reckoned with.

Rating: 4/5

Would you recommend: Yes

Danielle

It felt like I swallowed Olive in one sitting I consumed it so quickly. I knew from the first chapter that described the morning after the night before at University that I was going to adore this book because it was like reading an excerpt from my own life. Being in your late 20’s and 30’s is a constant barrage of baby talk and I’m so glad Emma chose this as a topic to centre her book around as it really doesn’t get spoken about enough. There are so many different angles when it comes to having children and the 4 women in the book represented different aspects of this. The characters were written so well, they felt like real humans that you could be annoyed at on one page but forgive them three pages later, and you could feel those important bonds between them constantly. I loved Olive’s journey of discovery and I think so many people that find themselves in a similar situation will be truly comforted by this book. Do give it a read even if you’re not in the “having babies” phase because it’s so much more than that.
Rating 5/5
Would 100% recommend

Zoe

I already adore Emma Gannon’s writing style though reading her non-fiction books, so I was excited to read her first fiction and after whizzing through the first few pages of this, I was instantly hooked. Her characters are so well developed and her descriptions so real you feel as though you’re the fifth friend in the group. The book follows Olive, the child-free by choice protagonist and having never read a character who is childfree by choice in any literature before this, it felt very new and needed! I found it so interesting and had some really great conversations off the back of it. Although this is certainly a main theme of the book, that isn’t all this book is centred around. Olive is a real and relevant story that has female friendship at the heart of it, following Olive and her friends as they navigate their adult lives. I think Olive as a character will be so refreshing and reassuring to a lot of people who read this. Society often makes us feel as though we need to tick life boxes at a certain age, and this book breaks a lot of this down. I bloody loved Olive, it was such a digestible, warming and modern tale that I could not put down!

5/5
Would you recommend? YES

Charlotte

Although it took me a little while to warm to some of the characters in this book, I finished Olive feeling such empathy towards the women at the centre of the story and the unique struggles that come with having children (or not, more to the point), relationships, careers and everything in between.

I’m usually drawn to novels more lighthearted in their themes, but actually this realistic tale was exactly what I needed in 2020- something that showed a less perfect adaption of life as a woman. It affirmed for me that the choices we make and different destinations we arrive at are always valid, even when they differ from those closest to us. Olive was refreshing and raw and served as a much-needed reminder that finding joy from decisions that don’t follow the crowd tend to be the most rewarding.

Rating 4/5
Would you recommend: Yes

First off, how are you and how have you been coping in 2020?

I’m good at the moment. I’ve been writing so I’m happy. For me personally, 2020’s been quite seismic. Lockdown encouraged me to stand up and look after myself. I needed to grow up a bit and I feel as though I have. I’m still a mess though.

Tell us about IAMWHOLE and how you co-founded the mental health organisation?

IAMWHOLE came off of the back of me writing a song with my old band Wildhood called Whole. It was about me spiralling into depression. Didn’t realise I felt that way until I wrote it. I reached out to Matt Campion at Spirit Media about an unrelated project and the stars aligned.

Why do you think speaking out about mental health is so important?

Speaking out about anything truthful to the human experience is important. For me, being a human is all about connection and community. Our mental health defines the way we see the world. Offering our perspective can often add light to another person’s view.

How would you describe your relationship with social media?

Occasionally enjoyable

Why do you think it’s so important to take a digital detox?

Digital detoxes are important because if we don’t pay more attention to ourselves and each other in real life, the robots will win.

What was your favourite part of the Digital Detox Campaign?

Being able to take some time out to reflect, so we can all form better relationships with ourselves and our devices

What is your advice for someone struggling with their mental health?

Fight your demons by helping healthy decisions win. It’s really difficult but so rewarding. Go to sleep earlier. Sleep more. Get out of bed earlier. Move your body more. Limit the junk food. Read a book. Most important, zoom out. Everything balances.

Can you tell us more about Music 4 Mental Health?

Music 4 Mental Health was a great initiative that brought together some epic talent to put on an unforgettable fundraising event. Everyone should come to the next one.

What are you currently working on?

I’m currently making new music, writing kid‘s books, scripts and acting.

What does your perfect weekend look like?

I’m away somewhere quiet with my dog and my girlfriend, reading a good book and plotting our moves for the inevitable revolution that’s to come.

What do you always carry with you?

A pen.

What would your last ever meal be?

Ackee, salt fish, dumpling and plantain.

What is one positive piece of advice you could give to our audience?

My favourite Dr Suess quote is “Be who you are and say what you feel, ‘cause those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”

Updating little parts of your home for the new season always keeps things fresh. When it comes to autumn, striking the balance between cosy and cool isn’t easy but we’ve sourced 24 beautiful pieces to give your home a refresh for the ‘ber’ months.

Swap fresh flowers for dried, summer colours for oranges and blues and keep textures soft and inviting. With less natural light streaming through your windows pick up some candles or a statement lamp to give you the glow you need as it gets colder.

*This post contains ad-affiliate links

Started at the bottom (in March) now we here! How did that happen? Nobody knows but it did. Summer’s been and gone and now we’re ready to embrace all things Autumn. Let it rain knitwear! If it doesn’t involve pumpkin spice and fall scented candles we don’t want to know.

1 Tell everyone you meet that you can’t believe it’s September already

2 Have a roast in a country pub

3 Make a warming stew. It’s slow cooker season betches

4 Bake your own cinnamon buns

5 Climb into your favourite jumper. Snug as a bug in a rug!

6 Give in and put your central heating on

7 Take a rainy day stroll or jog in the rain

8 Fill a vase with hydrangeas. Even better if they’re straight from the garden!

9 Make a fall playlist. Alexa, play Cardigan

10 Swap out your summer decor. New season, new cushions right?

11 Make an Autumn wreath for your front door

12 Forage for blackberries. Make Monty Don proud.

13 Curl up with a cosy book and a hot chocolate to boot

14 Get excited for knitwear. Suffocate me with that hygge!

15 Have an autumn picnic with flasks of hot tea & toasties

16 Wash your slippers. You know it’s been way too long.

17 Whip out the dark lipstick. It’s time.

18 Have a warm apple cider or a sloe gin if that’s more your thing

19 Start planning your Halloween costume. Even if you will just be sat at home, all dressed up like a p*ss poor bat with nowhere to go. It’s the thought that counts.

20 Spend a rainy day printing your Instagram photos and making a new album

What will you be getting up to this September?

Yesterday, the team stepped away from social media to join in with #DigitalDetoxDay – a campaign brought to you by Zoe, I Am Whole and Lush Cosmetics to raise awareness of the negative impact our digital devices can have on our mental health.

We are all increasingly dependent on our phones; addicted to the pace of responding to messages as soon as they’ve popped up and keeping up with other people’s seemingly perfect lives, so much so that we often struggle to keep up with our own.

On Saturday 5th September, we switched off for 24 hours to reconnect with our real lives and re-evaluate our relationship with social media. No sharing, no scrolling, no liking, just living that notification-free life.

Find out what the team got up to, how it felt to properly switch off from social and how often they like to have a digital detox.

Zoe…

Digital detox day was something I felt SO prepared for. After years of creating, building and working so hard to get this campaign up and running, I felt like I’d absolutely have this in the bag. A whole day without scrolling through social media… easy!! However, my thumbs appear to be programmed to just flick open Instagram at any moment to fill throughout the day apparently. I actually moved my Instagram app into its own folder on a separate bit of my phone homepage so I wasn’t tempted, and it worked! But my little thumb kept clicking where the app once was. It was such a nice day to refocus, reconnect and re-evaluate how much time I spend on social media and how much of my time I think about using it. It very quickly became apparent that i use it as a filler in my day & yesterday felt like I had so much more time to do things when I wasn’t using it. The day felt longer, conversations were much more deep and meaningful without anyone being on their phone & overall it was such a nice, wholesome day.

I tend to try and do detox’s every Christmas time, however I don’t usually ban myself from checking in at what others are doing, so this was a first for me. I’m really good at not posting, but the consuming other people’s content and feeling connected in that way, was much harder than I thought it would be. I’m so happy I was able to do it though, and as the day went on it became easier and easier and when Sunday rolled around, I could have definitely still stayed off until Monday!

We started the day off heading to London to see the campaign up on the big screens in Piccadilly where they were turned off for the fourth time in history to signify switching off for mental health and that was a really special moment.

We also went for brunch beforehand with Alfie, Maddie & her hubby Joel, Poppy & Sean which was so nice. Stopping off at my brother’s to sing him an early happy birthday and eat a slice of cake, then headed home to celebrate the dogs 6th birthday with a takeaway. It was the perfect day and it certainly made me realise how addicted I really am to using Instagram.

I will definitely be adding more digital detox days into my life going forward, and not just days where I don’t post, days where I don’t even open the app at all 💗

Maddie…

Hi, I’m Maddie and I’m addicted to scrolling online. I’ll admit it, I have an unhealthy relationship with social media. It’s the first thing I check when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep, with a whole lot of scrolling in between. I do love it, it’s my job but even if it wasn’t I know I would be just as glued to it as I am now.

I love documenting my life and having snapshots of moments to look back on in the future, but I’m acutely aware that 90% of the time it’s only the best bits, the highlights reel AKA, not real life. If I’m being honest I found the detox quite hard. Social media has become part of my daily routine but at the same time to go cold turkey was a bit of a revelation. For Digital Detox Day, Piccadilly Circus agreed to turn their lights off for 10 minutes to mark the day. This was a BIG deal as it’s only the 4th time in history it’s ever happened. Zoe and I knew we HAD to be there to mark the occasion so we met up in Covent Garden for an early brunch along with my husband, Alfie, Poppy and Sean (and Captain Bear) before heading to Piccadilly to see Zoe and Jordan’s billboard be turned “OFF”.

I’m so proud of this campaign and it was a real pinch-me moment to see it up on the biggest screens in London.

Joel and I then took Bear for a walk and went home to cook dinner and have a relaxing evening, it was such a great day. I felt like I had so much free time it was quite a scary realisation, I’m definitely going to try and take days off social media more often!

Lareese…

I spend an unhealthy amount of time on social media and my screen time stats show it. The numbers don’t lie! Even if I’m not physically on it, I’m usually thinking about it – shooting imagery, pulling together moodboards for inspiration, writing captions and planning my Instagram content, so my work life balance is pretty non-existent. My brain is always on the go, which is why doing a digital detox felt so restorative. It’s one thing to say you’re just going to take the day off from posting and sharing on social (which I often do here and there) but to actively disengage and forget it even exists for a day has been pretty liberating.

What’s interesting to me is how much more relaxed I feel once I step away from the online world – it’s like I’ve given myself permission to be unreachable for a few minutes. Honestly, when my battery goes and I’m away from a charger, a little part of me is relieved! It means I can forget that whole other responsibility of constant connectivity for a while. Half the time I open Instagram just out of habit and end up mindlessly scrolling without any particular purpose. All of a sudden, I’ve lost an hour! That’s theft.

Digital detox day was an opportunity to indulge in the simplicity of the here and now – to go out for a walk and just put one foot in front of the other, instead of checking my phone, documenting said walk for Instagram, or trying to change hen do flights and respond to urgent WhatsApp messages, DMs and emails. It was a whole 24 hour period where I got to ask less of myself and my time. I’m one of those people who worry I’ll forget to get back to someone unless I respond then and there (I would also hate for anyone to feel like I’ve ignored them) so I find myself spreading myself too thinly, juggling 10 tasks or conversations at once and unable to give the adequate energy to any one of them. I need to learn to be more protective of my energy.

I’ve fallen into the habit of going straight on social media as soon as I wake up and it immediately makes me feel crabby, like I’ve deprived my mind of the gentle wakeup routine it deserves, so on Friday evening I left my phone in the hallway so I wasn’t tempted to look at it on my bedside table in the morning.

I spent Saturday AM easing myself into the weekend by reading in bed with a coffee. I went to check out a new restaurant in town, followed by a bit of weekend thrifting – it’s amazing how many bargs you notice when you’re not married to your phone. The evening involved plonking myself in the bath with Zoe’s IRL bath bomb and a glass of wine – it was pure uninterrupted bliss.

Doing DDD has inspired me to make sure I commit to taking regular social media breaks and even phone-free days where possible. Having that downtime away from my devices has enabled me to see what healthy boundaries look like! I feel properly rested & ready to give my creative best again, which is so important for my mental health.

Charlotte…

I don’t think I’ve ever taken a full 24 hours offline since getting a phone/setting up my social media pages all those years ago which is just WILD to me- it’s crazy how much of my day is taken up with refreshing and scrolling so going fully cold turkey was always going to be a challenge!

I almost had to set some sort of reminder to myself when I woke up to not immediately grab for my phone because it’s just SO ingrained in me to immediately open Instagram. My whole routine felt different- even when I eat my breakfast I’m ordinarily scrolling TikTok or catching up on the news via Twitter whilst I was asleep, so I must admit I did feel a little out of the loop.

I decided to take the day slowly and try and be really grounded and mindful of how I was going to spend my time, as usually I’ll be rushing around or procrastinating by scrolling endlessly. Although I love reading a good book, I’m often drawn away from it by a cheeky IG scroll, so it was beyond lovely to dedicate so much time to getting through my hefty TBR pile and transport to another world for a little while. I also went for a long walk on the beach, which again would normally involve a scroll through Insta as I’m walking- I considered leaving my phone fully at home, but in the end decided Spotify would be nice so I wasn’t in complete silence for my whole day.

The rest of my Saturday was spent wandering The Laines (I popped into Lush and saw The IRL bath bomb IRL!), sorting and cleaning the flat and cooking a new vegan tempura veg and sticky mushroom recipe I’d picked up from a friend! It felt like such a wholesome and relaxing day and gave me a lot of perspective and appreciation for the little things. Having a whole day offline made me realise how negatively social media can make me compare myself, and a day without any of those worries or fears was exactly what I needed. I actually think going cold turkey and cutting it out fully was so beneficial because there was no temptation for just ‘a couple more minutes’ scrolling or to get any sense of FOMO. It’s definitely something I’ll be doing more as my screen time is normally so horrendous, and will be encouraging my friends and family to do the same!

Danielle…

So! Digital Detox Day was actually supposed to be the day after my wedding (cancelled due to COVID) so I’d already decided that I wanted my family to come and stay, so we could do something fun and distract us from feeling sorry for ourselves. Taking a digital detox is actually not something I do very often, and sometimes on slower weekends, I’m guilty of wasting SO much time scrolling and putting things off that I want to get done.
Sometimes I feel like the amount I enjoy social media doesn’t correspond with how much time I spend on there at all, you’d think I’d really love something that I’m able to spend hours doing! Social media often makes me feel alone when I can see so many of my friends out and about living their best lives and I have to constantly remind myself that people only post when they’re doing things, and I’m the same. When it comes to celebrities I don’t easily let their lavish lifestyles or banging bodies make me feel bad about myself because I follow so many down to earth, funny, relatable, joyful people that balance it out. I think I’m probably in need of a bit of a refresh when it comes to who I’m following as even though there are 1500+ accounts I always end up seeing the same 20 people over and over again!
On Digital Detox Day my sister, brother in law, and my parents came down to Brighton for a good old day of fun. We drank and ate and went to see some comedy at The Warren down on the beach. I chucked all my “temptation-time sucking” apps into a folder and didn’t touch them all day and I loved not feeling guilty about not knowing what was going on. The biggest takeaway for me was that i felt like I was much more in the moment and wasn’t turning to my phone every 20 minutes to check it for no reason at all. I think I’ll start taking a DDD every month!

Darcey…

I was so ready for Digital Detox Day! I know how addicted I am to social media, I can spend hours indulging in Instagram and Tik Tok and at the time I enjoy it, but after I always wonder why I just wasted so much time looking at what others are doing. I love working within social media and I see so much good from it, but in my personal life I definitely scroll too much and I think this can sometimes affect my mental health negatively. I find being online too much perpetuates that notion of constant comparison to others, it can make me feel like I am way behind others my age or that I haven’t achieved enough yet. But something I try to remember when I get in my feelings is that social media is the best bits of peoples lives and you truly never know what someone is really going through. At the end of the day, social media are just apps on your phone, tiny insignificant apps which could be deleted and never opened again in a heartbeat. Don’t let an app make you feel less worthy EVER.

For Digital Detox Day I wanted to allow myself a guilt-free day, I find a lot of the time, especially at weekends, I feel constant guilt for “not doing enough” or spending it a certain way. So I allowed myself zero guilt, just relaxation and enjoying the moment. I started my day absolutely screen-free, I didn’t even check texts or WhatsApp. I actually put my phone on do not disturb for the entire day to stop me reaching for it. I also locked all my social media apps so notifications couldn’t come through from them too.

I spent the rest of my morning getting ready slowly, not interrupted by checking social media every 10 mins looking at the same news feed on repeat. I then met my Nana for lunch which was lovely, which involved no sneaky checking of social media mid-convo that all of us are guilty of doing. I met up with my Dad too for a dog walk with the pugs, another event I realised I probably would have checked my phone at some point for no reason. I actually left my phone at home for this walk and ended up not picking it up for the rest of the evening. I spent the rest of my day reading my book and I had a lovely bath with the IRL bath bomb, pure relaxation.

Digital Detox Day has shown me just how important having a break is, it really refreshed my mind and I aim to do one monthly from now on!

As part of the Digital Detox Day campaign, money raised from the limited edition IRL bath bomb will be going into a one-off fund taking applications for grants from small, grassroots groups doing great things for those struggling with mental health and wellbeing issues.

Often these small, local groups need to raise money to continue the invaluable work they do in their communities, which is what this one-off fund is all about. The little guys, doing BIG things.

Do you know any unsung heroes making an impact in your local area? Running self-help groups or saving lives through suicide prevention initiatives? Heading into schools to speak about mental health issues or offering mutual support through workshops and meet-ups?

Perhaps you run a group yourself or you know a local group raising mental health awareness through various projects or sports clubs – let them know about the Wholeness Fund.

Groups & initiatives do not have to be registered charities but will need to demonstrate a track history of their work. Grants of between £100 and £10,000 can be applied for, depending on the size of the project.

Applications can be made from any country, this is a global fund.

Closing date for applications is 31st December 2020. The successful entrants will be decided by a judging panel consisting of experts from the mental health field, Zoe Sugg, as well as representatives from I Am Whole and Lush.

In an age where social media perpetuates unattainable levels of beauty and perfection, making friends with your body is a radical act of self-love.

Instagram can be a hotbed for comparison & self-deprecation. It seems like everywhere we look, we’re being told we’re not enough: not thin enough, smooth enough, not loveable enough – and we’re so over it.

But the tide is slowly changing, and a growing number of women and men are reclaiming their body image, rejecting false ideals of what a socially acceptable body looks like & dismantling the narrative that says our physical appearance and our weight determines our worth.

Give us people living their best life with their stretch marks, battle scars, cellulite, rolls, hair, bloated bellies, hyperpigmentation on show for the whole world to see. To see all those delightfully normal, human things is a powerful reminder that your body – and all the unique parts we’ve been conditioned to hate – is something to be proud of.

Your body is always good enough and you are its greatest opportunity for happiness. Read that again. Put it on a post-it note. Write it on your mirror in your favourite red lippy. Your body is a bloody wonderland and no one else gets to tell you how much it’s worth. There is more than one way to be beautiful and thinness is not the benchmark for human achievement.

No one celebrates self-love and acceptance better than these beautiful people. So, if you ever need a daily reminder that you are shake-your-tits fantastic just as you are, this is the crowd you want to follow.

Stephanie Yeboah – @StephanieYeboah

Stephanie has been a part of the fat acceptance body positivity movement since 2014. Her Instagram account serves as a space to share her personal style and talk about important issues such as body confidence, mental health and loving yourself unapologetically. She’s just published her first book Fattily Ever Afer – a love letter to plus sized black women. Basically, she’s just out here doing all the things and changing the narrative around body image. What a woman.

Rebekah Wilkinson – @thebaglifeofbeck

In her own words, Beck is just an ordinary woman who poops in a bag. She’s on a mission to raise Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) awareness and normalise stomas by documenting her life after ileostomy surgery. She reminds us that our bodies all have a different story to tell, and that’s what makes them beautiful.

“Reminder – You are Art 🎨

Scars
Body hair
Blemishes
Spots
Freckles
Skin
Stretch Marks
Cellulite
Imperfections
Disabilities whether they’re visible or invisible.

YOU ARE YOU and YOU ARE ART”

Callie Thorpe – @Calliethorpe

If you like your body confidence served with a delightful dose of Welsh wit, Callie is your dream match. She talks openly and honestly about her relationship with her body and we’re not afraid to admit that we want all her chub in the tub photos on canvas immediately. Kindness is her agenda and we are here for it!

Alex Light – @AlexLight_Ldn

Beauty journalist & a passionate member of the anti-diet culture club, Alex has long been documenting her recovery from an eating disorder across her Instagram, blog and podcast. Her carefully considered captions never fail to inspire us to give our ever-changing bodies a bloody break. If we all had the inner voice we really deserved, it would sound like Alex.

Francesca Perks – @FrancescaPerks

FP’s account is a mixture of dreamy pastel outfits, cracking personality and 10/10 humour. She makes scrolling those little squares an all-together better experience, just by being her. The world needs more Frans in it.

Megan Jayne Crabbe – @Bodyposipanda

One of the first champions of body acceptance, Megan overcame anorexia and now uses her platform to encourage other women to fight h-a-r-d for the self-love they deserve. Her thought-provoking captions always come through with the truth.

“You do not owe the world thin. You do not owe the world thick. You do not owe the world a body that you have to sacrifice your mental health for. Your purpose on this planet is not to be visually appealing to other people. You are made for more than that and always have been. You’re allowed to own your space here without thinking that you constantly have to earn your existence with pretty.”

Nyome Nicholas-Williams – @curvynyome

When Nyome Nicholas-Williams shared an incredible photograph of her sitting in a chair, covering her breasts with her arms, the posts were swiftly removed for violating Instagram’s semi-nudity guidelines. What followed was a viral campaign under the hashtag #Iwanttoseenyome.

Her followers rallied, a petition was launched and signed by just under 17,000 people and Instagram reinstated the images. But that was just the beginning. Thanks to Nyome and the help of fellow activists and content creators Gina Martin and Stephanie Yeboah, Instagram is now reviewing its semi-nudity guidelines, particularly in relation to the censorship of black plus size bodies. So as well as model, content creator and body positive advocate, she can now add policy change maker to her major list of accolades. Not all heroes wear capes.

“Why are white plus sized bodies seen as “acceptable” and accepted and black plus sized bodies not? Let’s shift the narrative that the media and fashion has upheld for too long that depicts our bodies as somehow being wrong when that couldn’t be further from the truth! I will continue to challenge and break down those societal and fashion “body standards” that have been upheld for too long.”

Tess Daly – @tess.daly

The Sheffield-based beauty blogger lives with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) type 2, a rare genetic condition that weakens muscles, meaning she has to use a motorised wheelchair on a daily basis as she cannot walk or stand. Growing up, Tess never saw anybody like herself represented in the beauty or fashion industry and has since made it her mission to change that.

Jules Von Hep – @JulesVonHep

Body confidence champion Jules Von Hep may have created the cult self-tan range Isle of Paradise but his real raison d’être is to encourage us to stop apologising for our bodies and start appreciating everything they do. He’s all for working with your body rather than against it.

Grace Victory – @GraceFVictory

This lady needs no introduction! An award-winning creator, presenter and Happiful Magazine columnist, Grace is predominantly known for her inspiring words and her refusal to bow down to societal expectations. Her content focuses on plus size fashion, healing the mind, body and spirit and the importance of self-development in a world determined to shrink you.

Megan Lane – @Megan_Rose_Lane

Having been through her fair share of mental health issues concerning body image, Megan is now using her platform to build confidence in other women. Part affirmation, part motivational poetry, her words will forever leave you feeling empowered and determined to be on better terms with your body. To fall in love with Megs is to fall in love with yourself!

Nicole Ocran – @Nicoleocran

Consider Nicole your one-stop-shop for all things mid-size style. Her smile is infectious, and her imagery radiates those wholesome posi vibes. If you’re looking for someone to serve you pure joy on a daily basis, leave it to Nicole.

There are so many more incredible accounts out there inspiring us to make self-love the goal. Drop your favourites in the comments below so we can continue to curate our Instagram feeds with kindness, love & body acceptance!

Drop your favourite accounts in the comments for others to follow!

Humans are inherently social creatures; we are biologically, cognitively, physically and spiritually wired to belong. Much like the relationship we have with ourselves, our relationship with others is conducive to happiness and fulfilment, providing meaning and purpose in the everyday. In an increasingly isolated and digitally engaged world, we all need real connection more than ever, and the profound impact of both human & social connectivity shouldn’t be overlooked.

Put yourself out there

It can feel daunting to put yourself out there and open yourself up for criticism or judgement, but finding a community of people with similar interests is a sure-fire way to nourish your soul.

We often preach about the power of no but what about the power of yes? Start saying y-e-s. Sign up to a running group or a virtual book club and push yourself out of your comfort zone – the benefit of connection far outweighs the initial nerves, so push through and be proactive. There’s no shame in wanting to belong to a community, we are all hard-wired for connection.

Connect one on one

Conversation and communication are both essential ingredients of connectedness and they go hand in hand. The dynamic of a group is often very different to that of a one on one conversation, and while both can provide fulfilling human connection, that one on one time naturally invites intimacy, empathy and openness. It can be a great opportunity to delve into topics beyond surface level small talk, to ask each other deeper life questions and genuinely listen to one another’s answers.

Participate in the real world

There’s a reason black out dinners and phone-free evenings are part and parcel of our vocabulary nowadays. We have to make a conscious effort to mentally break up from our phones and every distraction on it in order to be mindful of the present moment. There’s nothing worse than having a conversation with a friend only to find them hiding in their phones, having missed every word you’ve just said. To circle back to our first point – seek interaction out.

Kick off that digital comfort blanket and disconnect from the online world once in a while, you’ll begin to notice the vast possibilities to connect are all around you, be it with your barista or your boyfriend.

Be your beautiful authentic self

You won’t feel a connection with everyone you meet and that’s ok, there’s no need to force it. Square peg, round hole yada, yada, yada. Let go of the pressure to be who you think you are supposed to be and embrace who you are. When we are true to ourselves, we are comfortable with being vulnerable; showing all parts of us and cultivating a sustainable relationship based on honesty, trust and respect.

Open your heart

Connection isn’t always a comfortable or easy experience, sometimes it can be found in the moments when you’re at your most vulnerable and that requires a lot of introspection. It means feeling everything! To paraphrase a TED Talk by Brene Brown, you can’t numb the bad stuff without numbing the good stuff along with it.

When you’re willing to be open with your pain and tell your story with your whole heart, not only do you promote personal growth and healing, you encourage others to do the same and that’s a beautiful basis for friendship. Vulnerability is necessary – embrace it.

Be open minded

Long-lasting human connection doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time to build trust and understanding. It takes commitment. It also takes two; two people with the courage to be imperfect for the long haul.

Dismantle the fear of disconnection and rejection

When we break it down, connection is why we’re all here and we are all worthy of feeling it and knowing it. Rejection is a scary MF but to move forward, we have to learn to live and love without guarantee.

Let us know how you’re prioritising human connection in your life!

You are now entering a stress-free zone.

Repeating an encouraging phrase gives the words power to squash our worries and self-defeating thoughts and instead, make space for self-compassion.

Whilst they won’t magically erase anxiety, affirmations can counter feelings of emotional distress and doubt by bolstering optimism and motivation.

Here’s a selection of our favourite positive affirmations and kind words to remember on tough days.

Do you have a positive affirmations to calm your mind? Let us know in the comments!

First of all, how are you and how have you been coping in 2020?

Hello! I’m doing okay, and I think that’s where a lot of people are at right now. 2020 has been a YEAR for many reasons, and it’s taken a lot of adaptation and adjustment, but as the world is reopening, and we are able to find our feet again I think it’s creating a sense of stability again. Coping has been hard, but it’s been a challenge that I know in the long term, will result in positive change for myself.

Tell us all about your presence online and how you got started!

My online presence started as a diary and was really a space for me to be able to have an outlet of conversation. I didn’t have many friends growing up, and being able to use social media to find the LGBTQ+ community in the palm of my hand was invaluable. I would use it as a diary of my day, in a very literal sense and looking back at it now it’s incredibly embarrassing and long and awful but I enjoyed it and at the time, it was a godsend for me. I’d archive and share my outfits, and it was a way to feel confident in who I was at that time.

You have a multi-hyphen bio as a writer – editor – speaker – model and more, what’s your advice for someone who wants to follow in your footsteps?

Take your time! These things, despite social media often making them look like it, don’t happen overnight. There are endless hours of hard work, and it takes time to align yourselves with what you like doing, and what you want to do as your job. Often we end up moving our hobbies, into our careers, and it’s important you think carefully about that, as it can sometimes take the joy out of something you once loved doing. Be confident, proud and authentic in whatever industry you’re in, especially if you’re a marginalised voice. Don’t let people underestimate you, and always know your voice is necessary and valid in those spaces.

What is it like being such a prominent non-binary person on the internet?

It’s interesting, and at times incredibly difficult. As someone who holds a lot of privilege in this space, and often is asked to comment/speak on non-binary issues, it’s important for me to ensure I am constantly opening the door and widening the discussion around our identities. I like to use my platform, and voice and work to amplify our voices as a collective, because one person can never be a voice for our whole community. But I do enjoy it, it makes me feel empowered to see non-binary people represented in spaces that are so often devoid of transness.

You filmed a panel discussion discussing cyberbullying with Zoe for the lead up to Digital Detox Day, what are your experiences with Cyberbullying, and what advice would you give to someone struggling with it?

Cyber Bullying made up a lot of my younger years trauma, and it’s something that has evolved now into trolling and verbal harassment online. It’s really disheartening and toxic as it infiltrates your safe space, which can often be your social media. It creates a dynamic that can make you feel unsafe in a space you’ve curated to feel safe within, which is awful.

Advice for people going through it, and struggling with it is to know it’s not your fault. What you’re sharing, and speaking about should never mean you receive vitriol online. Speak to your friends about it, if you feel comfortable enough, share your experiences on it, and speak to fellow people who are in the same situation. Know that your curated online space is yours, so block, report, and get rid of these people who are continually doing this to you. Also, detox! Take time off, and find your footing with your physical allies if possible.

Why is it so important or you to have a Digital Detox Day?

For me, it’s important because so much of my work is now spent on social media. As a model and content creator, and a writer, there are few moments that I’m not online, so being able to actually reconnect with myself, and other people in person is really vital. It’s a reminder that we can still have joy, allyship and fun outside of our social networks. It’s also a test, to see if what people are speaking about online when it comes to social issues, are actually enacting the words they’re preaching in person.

What are some of the best things about the LGBTQ+ community online?

Our talent. We have SO much skill and brilliance in what we do, and seeing it online is really beneficial for our community. Especially our younger members. It’s freeing to feel that if you’re in a physical space that isn’t there for you, that you can have that sense of community instantly in the palm of your hands. It’s the best thing about the LGBTQ+ community online.

What are you currently working on?

Currently, I am about to release my debut book In Their Shoes, which is all about living and navigating life as a non-binary person. It’s been a chance to share my experiences with fashion, social media, work, relationships, family etc, and how I weaved my way through all of it. It’s fun, lighthearted, silly, but also serious and poignant and I can’t wait for it to be released on the 21st October! I’m also working on my own interview series with IWeigh and Jameela Jamil speaking to guests about what it’s like to be In Their Shoes for the day! We have some amazing guests such as Tom Allen and Ade Adepitan, so I can’t wait to share that with you soon!

How can people help the cause when it comes to Trans rights?

They can help by listening to the trans people themselves talk about the issues that impact their lives. Not just listening to the media, and ensuring they investigate their own questioning, by learning from trans people themselves. Realising that we aren’t just a sum of the awful headlines, and transphobic commentary, but of our skills, and our joy, and our brilliance.

What will you be getting up to on Digital Detox Day?

I’m going to make a concerted effort to enjoy myself offline. To make sure that I spend time with my close friends, and remember that it’s possible to have fun with people outside of social media, especially after the pandemic!

What does a perfect weekend look like for you?

A perfect weekend for me is spending it in a little quaint British town or seaside village, and roaming the charity shops and treating myself to a gorge little dinner after. I love going on rambles to random places in the UK, and being able to just walk around and spend time off my phone and do .. well nothing essentially! It’s the best, those days and weekends where you just relax and do very little but still have the best time.

What do you always carry with you?

I always carry a bottle of perfume, lipgloss and a packet of mixed nuts.. don’t ask me why but I’m permanently hungry so it’s always an essential!

If you could give one piece of positive advice to our followers what would it be?

To make sure that whatever you’re doing, and whatever stage you’re in, in your life, to know that things will become more streamlined, and easier, no matter how long it takes. Things will mellow, and you will find happiness in yourself and your identity.

Find Jamie on Twitter and Instagram.