Let’s Talk About Female Pleasure: A Beginner’s Guide to Masturbation

Women like to masturbate. There, the secret’s out. Burn us at the stake. And you know what, some of us even watch porn. Audible gasp. For some reason, female self-pleasure doesn’t seem to get the same air time as male self-pleasure.

Women like to masturbate. There, the secret’s out. Burn us at the stake. And you know what, some of us even watch porn. Audible gasp. For some reason, female self-pleasure doesn’t seem to get the same air time as male self-pleasure.

Guys talk openly about tugging on their dicks on the daily and it’s a celebration of manhood, a cumming of age tale; but we talk about stroking our ‘flower’ and that’s taboo? Well, we don’t need to be Samantha Jones to call BS on that school of thought.

Female sexual wellbeing and gratification is a big beautiful deal and there is zero shame in wanting to experience that American Pie moment for yourself. If someone else can’t get you there, (hell even if they can get you there), touching yourself on the regular feels good and there’s no need to pussyfoot around that.

Flicking your bean, Jilling off, downstairs DJ-ing – whatever masturbation moniker you like to use is absolutely none of our business. As long as it gets you the euphoric orgasm you deserve once in a while!

So, whether you’re stuck in a rut and looking to try something different or wondering how to go solo with your sexual pleasure, here’s a beginner’s guide to masturbation. Because no one else can do you like you do you.
Get out of your head and into your body

Easier said than done because let’s face it, the mind wanders onto ALL sorts when you’re trying to get in the mood. How many corgies DOES the Queen have? Why does tumbleweed tumble? So. Many. Mental. Blocks. In those moments, breathe through it, close your eyes and try to reconnect with your body. Put your phone on silent to eliminate any distractions. Take a bath to unwind, pick somewhere comfortable and zero in on the sensations. Mindfulness is your bezzie pal.

Let go of any pressure

We’re just gonna put it out there: the first time you masturbate, you probably won’t come and that’s more than ok. It’ll take some time to perfect your masturbation tekkers but you can still have plenty of feel-good fun in the meantime. Masturbation doesn’t have to be another thing you need to fail or accomplish. Just enjoy the ride!

Take your sweet time

Contrary to what most tv shows will have you believe, a very small minority of women actually climax from foreplay-less, P in the V sex – that is penetrative sex. Bish, bash, bosh, cue the mutual orgasm. Oh, PER-LEASE.
We can’t go from zero to hero without an adequate warm-up, people. We need the intimate build-up if we’re to go full-on WAP mode. Nearly all our nerve endings are in the clitoris, suffice to say, that little hood is worthy of your full attention if you want to make it to that grand finale. Ain’t no hood like a clitoral hood.

Get in touch with your turn-ons

Whilst the vagina is pretty fundamental in all this, you don’t have to spend all your time there. Nipple stimulation and light strokes across your inner thighs, the nape of your neck or your belly can be just as arousing. Find out what makes you tick and do more of that. Knowledge is your superpower.

Make it a moment

Self-pleasure is the purest form of ‘you’ time, so don’t rush through it. It’s all in the build-up! Put as much care and thought into it as if you were getting ready for a date. Put on the slow jams, light the candles, pour yourself a glass of wine, moisturise your body, buy the silky overpriced pants. You’re worth it.

Try an A.M. session

Some people work out in the morning, some people eat porridge and some people touch themselves mmmk. We’re all wired differently and if a pre-work wank makes you tick, then you go get it girl. Nothing sets you up for the day like an A.M. session. Good MORNING, Britain.

Have fun!

Introducing a few playthings into the mix is a great way to shake up your masturbating technique. Personal massagers (aka sex toys), porn, certain positions, pillow humping, getting friendly with the showerhead – get to know the root to your orgasm like the back of your hand. The more familiar you get with the inner workings of your body, the better sex you will have. Period.

Make sure you’ve got time on your hands, literally

There’s no greater buzzkill than the food shop turning up before you’ve had a chance to hit the fanny jackpot. But hey, if a danger wank works for you, carry on. You do you!

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This kind of topics should get talked about more! Loved it

Tiffany Giovino

I think this is a great topic to talk about. Most people automatically assume that women don’t masturbate and it’s quite the opposite! I never did it while I was younger because girls at school would say how “gross” it was. I honestly didn’t start until my mid twenties! It’s definitely a great stress reliever.

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I honestly almost teared up when I read “I didn’t start until my mid twenties” because I half thought I was the only one. <3


YES. YES. YES. This should be talked about way more. People, younger girls, in particular, need be made more away from how normal female pleasures are! Get rid of the playground gossip nonsense that goes on and get more posts out like this.


I literally didn’t know anything about female pleasure until I found a bf


I absolutely love this article. Love how it’s written. Love how real it is. Danger wank is the best line 🤣


Thank you for broaching this subject. Remember when Jocelyn Elders got forced out for talking about masturbation? Lol, even autocorrect doesn’t recognize that word.


Loved everything about this post.


Thank you this is so helpful and makes me feel so much better being a bit younger than most it is good to know that this is normal for girls it is so helpful. X


Honestly, thank you for talking about this! I get anxious about this kind of stuff, being a teen girl and all. I always feel that there is a certain way to do stuff and that I will do it wrong, so seeing things like this make it less anxiety-inducing for me and relieves stress in the pleasure part of my life! And this topic should definitely be talked about more! There is no reason not to normalize this and let women be more comfortable talking about these types of topics.


I started when I was 12 and it’s always been frowned upon I still keep it to myself now




Am I the only one who masturbated from around the age of 13?!

I remember not so long ago a 29 year old woman at work saying she didn’t need to masturbate because she “got enough at home” I was like…is you husband a magician? no one has ever made me cum faster than myself and a bit of pornhub! hah!


Amazing post !


These topics should get spoken about so much more! I’m sixteen and this is the first time I’ve been seeing people say that it’s completely fine to masturbate.


I dunno about now but when I was at school my sex Ed classes talked about male masturbation but never female. It’s about time it was normalised. Well done for doing this post!


I think it’s incredible to see female masturabtion being discussed for us women need to learn to love our bodies and grow our confidence. We need to normalise these topics .We all feel insecure and afraid to talk about the reality all because of society. We are still humans with feelings as well as men and deserve the same voice. 💪


Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU for this article! All about normalising Female pleasure and masturbation 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


It’s the most natural thing men can talk about it and joke why can’t women!!

Laura kelly

Yes love this can you bring it up in a video aswell ❤️


I love that you’ve spoke about this! I am all for sexual health and sex education! I love researching and learning about topics that’s taboo to talk about this gare with others. I love the fact you’re doing to same!!


Love this post! Please do more of these. Maybe a best toys review?


I love this topic! Something that should be talked about more often because not only it is bloody true but it encourages those with vaginas to take charge of their own bodies and teaches everyone that a women’s body isn’t just for men’s pleasure!!!!


When I read Samantha Jones that freaked me out a bit because that’s my name. I love that someone is writing about this hardly anyone mentions female mastrubation


Brilliantt we should talk about this topic more often! <3 thankyou zoella 🙂


Brilliantt we should talk about this topic more often <3 thankyou zoella 🙂


I recommend a podcast called How Cum. it is on female pleasure, and available on most platform. this podcast is great to hear about things and facts you probably have no idea of.
love this article

Lena Marie

Thank you for starting a conversation around this topic. It is completely normal, healthy and good for women to masturbate, yet it gets treated as a total taboo. I think it needs more people like you, Zoe, and your team, that are courageous enough to use their very public platforms to talk about such things. So, again – thank you! 🙂

Kerry Hartley

Wow Zoe!!
As a 38 year old married woman with a 7 year old daughter I have no shame in admitting I’ve been tuning in to your vlogs for 8 years now (can’t believe it’s been that long)
It’s like I have watched you grow… your content has always been excellent, somewhat escapism for me, something I can watch, enjoy and just “switch off” to…. but now your recent content has me…well “switching on”talking about and absolutely thriving for!! more of the same please….and more sex please I’m British!!! And i love it…


Thank you for this.


i love this . talk more about it plzzzz


I love this article, and the thing I love most is how you weren’t delicate about addressing it! A lot of times if we talk about this stuff at all (especially in the media), we cloak it in metaphors and talk around it while not saying much at all. But while I could tell that the writers of this article had a lot of fun with masturbation related turns of phrase 🙂 , you also addressed it really frankly: guys touch themselves, so we shouldn’t be afraid to touch ourselves either and own the fact that we do it. It’s just the sort of tone that I really appreciate. You all rock!


as a teen this is amazing to read i have always felt ashamed about this topic and it is great to see not only the article but also all the comments coming together to show that its normal

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