I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling at work lovely! Making the transition between uni and the workplace can be daunting and overwhelming, no doubt about it, so don’t underestimate the significance of this life change. Starting your first proper job in the real world is a BIG deal and all of your feelings are absolutely valid.
There’s going to be plenty of ‘firsts’ to navigate in your job role, and finding who you are as a person within the context of your career and that will take some time to figure out. But you’ll certainly get into the groove of things and find your confidence with it. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable or invisible in the workplace and if the problem continues, I would suggest having an honest conversation with either your line manager or HR department. This colleague might be completely unaware of how her behaviour implicating both your ability to do your job and your mental health. Communication is everything and -although I’m not making excuses for her behaviour, how hard is it to acknowledge someone in a lift with a friendly smile, after all? – I think being the bigger person and giving someone the benefit of the doubt shows your emotional maturity and willingness to move forward with the situation.
Even if it isn’t personal, it sure does feel personal to you, so that’s a conversation that needs to be had. You never know, maybe she’s got her own sh*t going on at home and she’s bringing it to work with her and you, through no fault of your own, are bearing the brunt of it. Aside from that one particular colleague, what’s the work culture like at your company? Do you have any opportunities to hang out together outside of doing your 9-5? If not, why don’t you propose that you guys get together for a few drinks after work (when the pubs are open again) to socialise as people rather than just colleagues, or have Friday Fizz in the office? It’s a great way to break the ice and build genuine rapport with your teammates. Not everyone at work has to be your best pal, it might be that your network of relationships within your job are just strictly professional and that’s ok, as long as it’s still a friendly environment.
I don’t think female friendships get easier or harder necessarily, I think you just learn to make your peace with the fact, not every female you meet, in whatever scenario or social context, will end up being your friend. They won’t all be your kind of people and vice versa.
It sounds like you have a really wonderful group of pals around you who have been present for most of your life, so I’d focus on nurturing those relationships and using them as your support network. The work dynamic will change all the time as new faces join and people move on so, don’t give up on those friendships yet. Remember, this is your first job and you won’t always feel this way.
It will get better and you will build friendships with your work colleagues organically over time but yeah, happy hour always helps, ha! Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. Lots of love, Lareese xX