If you’ve made it this far into lockdown without watching Normal People, what could have been so urgent, please?
If you’ve seen it, then you’ll know what all the fuss is about, and why Connell’s silver chain is the only thing that matters anymore.
With sex scenes and full-frontal nudity, it’s… #NormalPeople and every single thought and emotion we had while watching it.
1. Huh, I never imagined Connell to be a silver chain wearer when I read the book
2. A moment of silence for everyone sitting down to watch this with their parents.
3. The playlist, I need the playlist. Give me those sad indie tunes immediately
4. Who knew Gaelic football could be this erotic
5. Not handling the cosmic sexual chemistry so well over here
6. She really wants to take her clothes off doesn’t she
7. Yep, that’s it then. I really fancy Connell
8. Even my armpits are aroused at this point
9. Is he… stopping to put a condom on
10. Yep, just casually rolling it on
11. Consent perfectly executed, followed by, “I think you’re really pretty by the way” – he is now officially my internet boyfriend
12. I know Marianne’s nipples better than I know my own
13. So pert, so poised
14. Why do I feel as though I could burst into tears at any moment
15. The acting, the cinematography, the music, the script. We are not worthy of such greatness
16. Imogen Heap and car sex. What a horny little recipe.
17. Why does Marianne’s mum remind me of Jenny Lind from The Greatest Showman?
18. MARIANNE DESERVED TO GO TO THE DEBS, CONNELL YOU FILTHY PIECE OF TOERAG
19. Oh it hurts, it physically hurts
20. PULL IN HERE. Yes Lorraine, you legend
21. Never in this history of voicemails that don’t belong to me, have I been so personally traumatised
22. Yep, can confirm still fancy Connell in his BP garage uniform
23. I wonder if there will be a Normal People tour complete with GAA shorts signed by Connell available in the gift shop. If so, would visit, would buy
24. If 2020 were a person, it would look a lot like Jamie
25. I can’t wait for them to have glorious Trinity reunion sex
26. Marianne’s got a hip flask of gin on gin, she must mean business
27. She’s touching the chain, I repeat, she’s touching the chain
28. Googles various men in jewellery
29. But it’s not the same. Because they’re not Connell
30. I’m going to need to know where Marianne’s yellow bedding is from…
31. Oh, yep now she’s sucking his finger
32. Has he actually got his flaccid lad out on tv? High five BBC.
33. Look at it blissfully bobbing around the groin, living its best limp life and allowed to just catch its breath in a debrief for a second
34. I can’t decide if releasing this absolute filth in the middle of a pandemic where we’re largely forbidden from touching other people’s genitals was genius or savage
35. And I’ve landed on savage
36. Even the tea is sexy
37. Aw, look he kissed her on the shoulder in public. Progress!
38. Not again Connell ffs, my heart’s down to its last valve
39. No, what are you doing? Turn around. Ask her if you can stay with her for the Summer you eejit
40. Maybe I should cut myself a fringe
41. Ok, Marianne Italy suits you
42. Sweden… not so much
43. Episode 10 just chewed on my heart for fun and spat it back out again
44. When Connell cries, the nation cries with him
45. “We can keep Skype on. Carry me over to your bed” No YOU’RE crying again.
46. THIS ACTING IS SOMETHING ELSE
47. A Rocket ice cream? Controversial.
48. The car scene. Let that be it. Let them be happy and have loads of highly intelligent children for crying out loud.
49. I’m one more flashback from an emotional breakdown
50. That kiss was so wholesome
51. What a f*cking beautiful bit of tv
52. BEAUTIFUL I tell you
53. But also devastating
54. If there’s any justice in the world, there will be a season 2. You hear me? We’re owed a season 2 Hulu, and an explanation for THAT ending
55. It’s been 2 weeks and I’m still thinking about Connell Waldron’s chain
56. If I accomplish nothing else in these lockdown years, at least I can tell my grandchildren about the time I watched Normal People in one sitting and I was both horny and emotionally unstable throughout
57. “I’ll go”
“and I’ll stay…and we’ll be ok”
OH JESUS WEPT I AM NOT OK
58. What a wild ride that was
59. I’m fully prepared to accept I’m never going to emotionally recover from this
60. Petition to get a Connell’s chain emoji