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TEAM ZOELLA MARCH 13, 2020

Between You and Me – Answering Your Problems Pt. 2

Our 'Between You & Me' write-in is a regular series dedicated to answering your personal problems...

It’s that time of the month again where you write in with your Between You And Me dilemmas and we do our best to dish out some solid life advice – because a problem shared is a problem halved and all that!

This time we’re tackling cheating boyfriends, pubic hair, sexuality, A-level stress and periods.

Got something weighing on your mind? Email us on [email protected] and we’ll be in touch!

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Lom

This is such a happy place with the global issues surrounding us at this moment. It really helps keep anxiety at bay knowing I have this positive place to come to online. Thanks team zoella!

Ash

To the girl who wrote in ‘My Boyfriend or The Girl I Love’, it certainly sounds like an incredibly confusing situation to be in. I really don’t like some of the advice you were given: “Sounds like you have made your mind up from the way you wrote your email, so break up with your boyfriend”. I completely disagree. You have been with your boyfriend for 7 years, that is a long time. And when you have been with someone for a long time, it is easy to feel like you are no longer ‘in love’ with them. First and foremost, love is a choice, it is a verb, it is an action word. You can’t always just rely on feelings. You CHOOSE to love someone, not just let your emotions take you on a roller coaster ride (because that is what they will do if you let them). When you have been with someone for a long time, feelings do change. They change from this passionate, intense, oh my goodness I can’t live without him/her for a single second kind of flame, to something deeper and more gentle, more of a comforting glowing ember. Add into this that you have now met this girl that you are feeling attracted to and all those initial feelings of love and lust that come up when we first meet someone and that can certainly make you feel like you are even less ‘in love’ with your boyfriend. I think what it comes down to is this: What do you value more? Your boyfriend, your relationship with him and what you have built over the past seven years OR the need to explore your sexuality? Both are completely valid options, and only you will know deep down which is the right choice for you. All I ask when you make your choice is to base it off of what you need to do for your own well-being, and not how ‘in love’ you are or are not with your boyfriend, after all, would you be feeling like leaving him if you would have never met this girl? Just some food for thought. Wishing you the absolute best.

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