Relationships… It’s a funny topic at this age, isn’t it? Everyone is either basically married, or single and always ready to mingle. So, as a fellow 21-year-old, who has also never had a boyfriend and doesn’t go on many dates, I feel you! I want to say firstly though, never EVER think that something is wrong with you or that you aren’t enough, you are perfect just as you are. You just haven’t found the right person yet, and that’s okay. When it comes to relationships, you mustn’t compare yourself to others, especially at our age. This is something I have also struggled with in the past, always wondering “why haven’t I met anyone yet?”, “Why don’t any of my ‘talking stages’ progress to anything?” and “Is there something I’m missing, do I need to change?”.
But you have to just trust your own path, trust that there is someone out there for you and that you’ll meet them when the time is right. Another thing you have to do (which I am also not always the best at) is you’ve got to put yourself out there. Get on some dating apps, Hinge I would recommend, just start chatting to some people. Then, when you feel comfortable, go on some dates. If you are already trying this, then don’t be afraid to ask them on a date! At the end of the day, what have you got to lose?
Unfortunately, some people find love easier than others, I have friends who have been in constant relationships since 14… and I just think, how?! Sounds like you have a similar situation with your friends too. But, don’t let their comments upset you either, especially the “you’re kinda intimidating” one. Firstly, I highly doubt you are “intimidating”, you definitely don’t need to change who you are as a person to please others. To me it just sounds like you are slightly standoffish when meeting new people, maybe to do with anxiety or fear around guys especially. I can be exactly the same! So, don’t worry about all that, if a guy is interested, he’ll show interest, it’s just finding the confidence to put yourself out there a little more.
I struggle with anxiety too, and it makes me sometimes question how I’ll come across to others, especially when it comes to dating. It’s held me back in the past, but a friend told me recently not to fear putting myself out there, because if they don’t like you for you then that’s their problem, you just have to be your authentic self!
But never do anything you feel uncomfortable with to please others, do things at your own pace. Start dating when you feel you want to, not when your friends say you should. Being on your own is something you should enjoy! Enjoy your twenties and remember there’s a lot of us single pringles out there. Hope this helps and the best of luck with everything! Darcey x