This is 2020, people! Being unattached is not a reason to lock yourself in a lofty tower for the whole of February. There is heart-shaped chocolate to be had and masturdates – that’s ‘going out on your own’ for anyone scratching their heads, or any other region for that matter.
Valentine’s Day is about love of in ALL its forms, starting with the glorious romance you have with *drumroll please* yourself.
So, let’s paddle through the commercial BS and make room for some good ol’ fashioned self-lovin’ shall we?
Shower yourself with affection simply because you can, buy yourself some chocolate and flowers or weep into a bottle of tequila if you prefer.
This is our guide to navigating Valentine’s Day as a singleton – no S.O. necessary!
Just ignore it…
If you don’t feel like commemorating the day of love, just… don’t! You don’t need permission to pie it off altogether.
Like a red card from DPD, just leave Valentine’s Day at the door with a, ‘sorry we missed you note’. It’s but another day on the calendar after all.
Call your friends
Nurture the 10/10 relationships you already have in your life. Host a dinner with your fellow fluent-in-Tinder-BS gal pals and compare hideous dating stories. Laughter is the best medicine.
Hang out with yourself
There’s this weird expectation that if you’re alone, you must be f*cking devastated and showering with your dog but riddle me this, what’s so crushing about having your wicked way with the thermostat? There’s nothing more fulfilling than realising you’re more than comfortable with your own company. Being single is a choice, not a burden.
Go shopping to get what YOU want
Sure, lacy lingerie is great but have you tried new PJs?
Make yourself a nice dinner
“Hey, what do you fancy for dinner?”
“I’m easy. What do you fancy?”
“I don’t know, what are you thinking?”
“Don’t test me, Michael. Start naming food groups”
The riveting daily dinner chat doesn’t exist in your world – eat what you want, when you want without the hangry debate, you lucky thing.
Stay in and binge Netflix
If we don’t make any sudden moves maybe Valentine’s Day won’t see us. *Cue five uninterrupted hours on the sofa*
Plus, you’d be doing yourself a massive disservice if you didn’t use this holiday to pay Ryan Gosling the heed he deserves.
Run a bath, finish that book, do a face mask, leave the leg shave for another day. Take advantage of the perks of living life on your own terms and not having to share your physical and mental space with anyone else. Guilt-free decisions with zero compromise! High. Five. To. That.
Unplug from social
Couples, couples everywhere. You can practically smell the PDA before you see it. Come off social media for the night and enjoy some well-deserved solitude!
Take a trip
Get away from the V-Day hype and fall in love with a new city instead. Paris is always a good idea and you don’t need a plus one to prove it.
Seriously, just masturbate, it’s what Aphrodite would want.